修稿病句高手请进 求赐教!1随着人民群众精神文化需求的增长和经济的发展,政府有能力、有责任让更多的纳税人享用公共文化资源

第一处：饮料包含了汽水和健力宝,应该为“我们带着面包、饼干、汽水、健力宝来到了……”
第二处：“老师囖囖嗦嗦说”应给为“老师语重心长地说”
第三处：“游泳对小东和小华都很喜欢”改为“小东和小华都很喜欢游泳”
第四处：“同学们大家”改为“同学们”或“大家”
第五处：“结果他赢了”犯了指代不明的错误,“他”是谁?
第六、第七,我找不出来,也许是“眼睛都集中到他们身上”和“南山脚的山底湖”.
希望可以帮到你.

Farewell,my favorite girl
Clutter the Yunjiao has not spelled my sorrow
You may have heard,the whistle roar
I am doomed in the black this summer leave
The hustle and bustle of the city in my mind敲打
You just as the emergence of the war in the oasis
'll's,Ah,may be starting to numb the hands clenched
You Huiku it,anyway now I Leiruyuxia
Heshangshuangyan,I would like to not alienate friends and relatives
Provides some background because you are in my mind Yinghui
Midnight,Gardenias Qinchu sweet tears
Another world first,can you find the smile
Xiangkou the urging of the carriage intolerance
I forgive you in this last Sunday to return to
A height of the Waltz,stun the world
Nobody knows who I am,no one knows I love who you are