幽默笑话 成语接龙大家来玩成语接龙了啊~我开头~一马当先

But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老师哭了
六岁的约翰娇生惯养.他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他.这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母.他想要什么不是哭,就是闹.他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱.
约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”
“哭?”约翰问,“不,我没哭,可老师哭了.”

喜欢学英语的小明,不分日夜都在找说英语的机会.
这天,他不小心走路撞到一个外国人,他不好意思的说：「I am sorry.」
「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答.
「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道.
「What are you sorry for?」外国人问.
「I am sorry five…」小明说.
To Give Up the Seat
Little Johnny says "Mom,when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"Well,you've done the right thing," says Mommy
"But Mommy,I was sitting on daddy's lap."
让座
小约翰告诉妈妈：“早上我和爸爸坐公车时,他让我给一位女士让座.”
“好,你做得对.”妈妈说.
“但是,妈妈,我那时正坐在爸爸的大腿上.”
A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.The son asks,"Dad,are we poisonous snakes?" The father replies proudly,"Yes son,we are rattler snakes!Why do you ask son?" "Because DAD,I just bit my tongue!"
一个阳光明媚的下午,蛇父亲和蛇儿子出去散步.儿子问：“爸爸,我们是毒蛇吗?”父亲得意的答道：“当然了,孩子,我们是响尾蛇啊!为什么这么问呢?”“因为,我刚把舌头咬破了!”
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球,一个老美看到就笑我说,"Do you
know what does it mean?It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性,缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快,联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围,他说,有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn,他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S,(All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔!下次就换你去取笑老美了.

奶奶：“1＋2等于几?”
孙子：“等于3.”
奶奶：“答对了,因此你会得到3块糖.”
孙子：“早知道是这样,我就说是等于5就好啦!”

A humorous joke

这分不是浪费了吗？给我吧，非常感谢，你的笑话很好笑。

一对同年同月同日生的老夫妇共同生活了35年.今天,他们大摆宴席,庆贺他们的60岁大寿.宴席过程中,上帝来了.上帝称赞老夫妇是真正的“恩爱夫妇”,并答应给他们每人一个愿望.老太太激动地说：“我们很贫穷,我只想想好好看看这个世界,做一次全球旅游.”
上帝挥了一下手,砰的一声,一会儿飞机票从空中落入老太太的手上.该老头儿许愿了,只见他沉思了一会儿,说道：“我想娶一个比我年轻30岁的女人.”
上帝又挥了一下手,砰!……
老头儿一下子变成了90岁

笑话Much Worse
Policeman:Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man:If I had opened my mouth,they'd have found my four gold teeth.That would be much worse.
谜语是：What goes on four feet,on two feet,and three,but the more feet it goes on,the weaker it will be.谜底是Man.Because he crawls first,then walks on two feet,uses a cane when old.

张飞穿针＿大眼瞪小眼，姜太公钓鱼＿愿者上钩

　　[场景一]
　　老师：老实说,你吸烟吗?
　　男生a：不吸.
　　老师：不吸?嗯,吃根薯条吧.
　　a很自然地伸出两根手指夹着接过来……
　　老师：不吸?!叫家长来……
　　[场景二]
　　老师:吸烟吗?
　　男生b:不吸.
　　老师：不吸?嗯,吃根薯条吧.
　　b由于听到a的情况,所以很小心的用手掌接过了薯条.
　　老师：不蘸点番茄酱吗?
　　b一不小心蘸多了,于是马上用手指弹了弹……
　　老师：弹烟灰的姿势很熟练嘛.叫家长来……
　　[场景三]
　　老师：吸烟吗?
　　男生c:不吸.
　　老师：不吸,好,吃根薯条吧.
　　c因有前面两个例子很小心地流着汗吃完了薯条.
　　老师：不给同学带根回去吗?
　　c接过薯条后顺手就夹在耳朵上……
　　老师：不吸?叫家长来……
　　[场景四]
　　老师：吸烟吗?
　　男生d：不吸.
　　老师：很好,吃根薯条吧.
　　d心惊胆战地吃完了薯条.
　　老师：不给同学带根回去吗?
　　d又小心地将薯条放到了上衣袋里.
　　老师突然大喊一声：校长来了!
　　d赶忙从口袋里取出薯条扔在地上,用脚使劲地踩……
　　老师：不吸?!叫家长来……
　　[场景五]
　　老师：吸烟吗?
　　男生e：不吸,
　　老师：很好,吃根薯条吧.
　　e刚拿过薯条,老师说：不请我吃吗?
　　e赶忙双手递过薯条,然后掏出打火机……
　　老师：不吸?!叫家长来……
　　[场景六]
　　老师：吸烟吗?
　　男生f：不吸.
　　老师：很好,吃根薯条吧.
　　f心惊胆战地吃完了.
　　老师：突然大喊一声：校长来了!
　　f手心冒汗,但仍镇定地低头说到：
　　老师：校长会闻到你嘴里的味道的.
　　f掏出薯条：还在这呢,火都还没点……
　　[场景七]
　　老师：你到底吸不吸烟?
　　男生g：向上帝保证,绝对不吸.
　　老师：真的不吸?好,来吃根薯条吧.
　　g非常自然接过薯条吃个干净.
　　老师：真是个好孩子,你一般喜欢什么牌子的薯条呢?
　　g(得意忘形地)：大中华……
　　[场景八]
　　老师：吃根薯条吧.
　　老师：……

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and ...