求批改雅思大作文~~~~Does modern technology make life more cnvenient,

发到:http://post.baidu.com/f?kw=%D7%F7%CE%C4%B8%A8%B5%BC

完全是 chinglish ……
其他的语法不说了,最起码的 talented person 冠词都没有
哎…… 没法下笔改啊

Notice1.Private bags are not allowed to be taken into the library,and quietness is required in the reading room.2.One can only borrow 4 books maximum once with VIP card.3.Books has borrowed must be re...

fly_ai3
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/243550783.html
In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think university graduates who become new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years. What is your view?
【习作正文】【本篇共计345字】
With the dramatic improvement of higher education in many countires, torrents of graduates pour into the booming employment market, which provide the job-hunters with two alternatives — urban work or rural jobs. To many university graduates, it’s a knotty dilemma, especially when it comes to the situation about teachers-to-be and doctors-to-be. However, some of them, who are attracted by the high standard of school and medical facilities, are apt to work in cities. In contrast, as far as I am concerned, rural areas should be chosen by the university graduates for their nascent stages of careers.
To start with, it’s fair to say that, most of the graduates, freshly out of school, barely have any practical working experience. Inconsistently, they are very ambitious and even arrogant. Obviously, the rural jobs can put them ‘back to the ground’ by putting them back to the basic realities of the grass-roots society and avoid them from holding the highbrow illusion of their abilities and value. Furthermore, the period of working in rural regions affords the green hands a substantial amount of chances to consolidate their knowledge of in education or medicine and applies their theories to practice, especially considering the fact that the problems they would come across in the rural areas tend to be more simple and basic than that in the urban areas.
Undeniably, those working in cities have more access to better facilities, such as multimedia for teaching, type B ultrasonic for diagnosis and so forth. Whereas the rural jobs would give the green hands added opportunities to deal with the lower-class people, who could bring the graduates more patience and sympathy which is the essential qualification for both teachers and doctors. Meanwhile, neither of the two characters can be substituted for the high-end equipments, especially in their nascent stages of careers.
In summary, I am convinced that working in rural areas for a few years is a sensible and responsible alternative for the graduates who are at the beginning of their careers and in the period of professional morality construction.
已发到邮箱,而且存成了Word,里面有track changes功能,可以看到做了哪些修改
少数拼写错误和用词不够准确,已经修改,总的来说,写的不错,我不清楚这种考试的作文评分标准,不过如果满分为十分的话,我想你得八分应该差不多,继续努力!

有一点点错,应该是：
After human arised in the world's history, the life was not simple anymore from born to death. Success and unsuccess became words to appraise a person's whole entire life

张老师快些

你几年级?

She checks my homework everyday,and points out my mistakes carefully.She taks good care of me.

看这里：

Nowadays,parents always want their kids become the achiever so that they send them to take part in the art classe.However,too （much->many） courses (for children unbearable-> increase the study pressure to their children to an unbearable degree).So,there is a problem.Should parents send their kids to art classes?
Some people do really support the idea that parents should send teir kids to art classes.In their opinion,( join->joining) the classes means the kids can obtain more knowledge and have a shkill.What's more,if the kids study well,they also can have more opptunities to( have a去掉） success.So,why not send them to art classes?
But,the coin has two faces.here are some people disagree with these parents.In their minds,kid just a kid,their narural is (playing->play 可以单独做名词,这样简洁,而且playing很容易和现在进行时混淆）.It is unbearable for kids to take part in too many classes.At the same time,if they don;t want to study like this,they can't study well.So,why send them to （such->so) many classes?
In short,Ithink if the kid （like->likes) drawing,then send he or she to study drawing.If the kid （like->likes) singing,then send he or she to study singing.（Interesting->interests) is the best teacher.It is unnecessary to take part in so many art classes.If they don't want to join the classes,then let them play with each other.Happiness (just is->is just) the most important thing for them.
总体写的还可以,有些小错,还有文章有一些重复用词可以变换一下,以体现表达的多样性.比如多次使用 send their kids to art class 你可以变换成 force their kids to learn art 还可以 burden their children with art class等等
再如最后一段Ithink if the kid （like->likes) drawing,then send he or she to study drawing.If the kid （like->likes) singing,then send he or she to study singing.改为 I think if the kids likes drawing or singing,provide them the conditions of both high quality teachers and lessons.
unbearable改成intolerable
多次使用的take part in 可以改为 attend ,learn in
另外我多改了一个地方（Interesting->interests)

题目对吗?你写的内容非常一般.得分不超过5.

(Your talk is quite good,only a few words need to be changed)Good afternoon distinguished judges,good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.I’m a middle school student,I’ m 13 years old.I think this compet...

1 孔雀欢快的跳起舞来.
2 王林拿起剪刀修剪起花草来.

老师让我先回去,他要批改作业.

解题思路：题中有一个隐含的条件，一周是7天，可以先求出平均每周修铁路多少米，再求平均每天修铁路多少米．据此列式解答．

945÷3=315（米）
答：平均每天要修315米．×
改正：945÷3÷7，
=135÷7，
=45（米）；
答：平均每天要修45米．
故答案为：×．

点评：
本题考点： 简单的工程问题．

考点点评： 此题解答关键是明确：一周是7天，利用工作量、工作效率、工作时间三者之间的关系进行解答．

是我吗?早忘了……
有一题是碳氢氧元素有什么区别,你答了物理、化学性质,正确的应该是核电荷数不同,即质子数不同；还有一题是二氧化碳和一氧化碳与乙醇有什么区别,答案应该是前两种是无机物,后一种是有机物.只记得这两题了
以上仅代表个人观点,你们老师怎么改我不知道.
你只看到了表面现象,而没有考虑到最重要的东西,应该是这么个意思

看了一下你的文章,你的语法句法都挺好的,而且单词拼写也没有错误. 你的第一段也给出了观点,但是给的例证不够充分,不够说服力.的确有钱会引人眼红,但是很多有钱人过得很好,你一定要给出具体的人或事来说明,或者report...

18

本文内容丰富语言优美感情真挚

以下为个人观点,仅供参考.首先,选取事例不够典型且重复,作者详写的都是亲人眼中的“我”,题目既然是别人眼中,应该再从老师、同学等角度写一写,亲人部分删减,比如将爸爸妈妈并成父母,将姐姐表姐并成兄弟姐妹.再者,结尾不够精简突出,只是将上文又重复了一遍.可以改成“这就是别人眼中的我,也许不够完美,但是…”这样的话,力争画龙点睛.

1、"不能"应译成CAN'T,“在走廊上”应译成 on the passage.dining hall是餐厅的意思吧!
2 、他想加入英语俱乐部中的“想”应译成 would like to比较贴切!
3、how much time does he take to go to school by bike?how far是多远的意思
6、在..前面 用in front of ,bofore 根时间的多一点.
7、My mother is of medium height with long straight hair.
9、Last weekend,my parents and I went to countryside to pick up strawberry.
10 Saly's dream came true at last.
11Are these Jim's books?Yes,they are.
13He likes watching the football(or soccer) match on TV.
14.Mary's birthday is on 14th,Aug.
15His favourate subject is science.
19how do you think of the car?
如有不懂可继续追问!

46*2*30=2760(本）
答：白老师一个月要批改2760本作业本

Keeping pets may be significant to somebody,especially to senior citizens who live alone or to the people with psychological problems.

In addition,this issue seems to be acomplex and increasingly widespread ,which has sparked much debate.
acomplex形容词“复杂的”前不加冠词a,which has sparked much debate.是非限制性定语从句.

　　Difficulties in learning English　　As we all know,English is more and more 【popular】 in our life,and most of us are learning English nowadays.But English is not easy 【while studying】.　　I ha...

去论坛 互改

1.谈压力.
Often hear people say "pressure is too great, really can't stand it." Or speak "I this person is can't handle pressure."
Do know, every one of us never was born, already under pressure, and this pressure has been to death, cannot escape.
If we fill a cup of water, close in on cover a piece of paper, and then put the cup topsy-turvy. Will find, the cup of water and wrapped, can not pouring down. This is because the atmospheric pressure. If a hollow iron ball, cut in half, and then closed, and removed one of the air. Will find that the two halves of the iron ball, tightly together absorption, which USES 16 horse may pull away.
The famous "soft fort hemisphere experiment", and prove the atmospheric pressure. Who can think of our survival air, from the ground up 60 to three hundred km extension, it put its weight was put upon us.
But we are not live very easily?
That's because our body, relatively stressful. Two pressure offset, would have no feeling.
They don't like people? Some people is highly intelligent, capable, and even have a healthy body. But because can't handle pressure, and in the life of the battlefield shrink back down.
He is likely to be campaigning politician, can't bear the mental stress, and midway withdrew from the race.
He is likely to be spent years time, prepare to participate in the world of sports contest of national, but because of the too many people cannot afford to look told. Lest after failure, although to face our countrymen, and temporary disorders, the show.
He also may be the day the heart of hang in the entrance exam good students. When those lessons as his people, prepare a gamble, but he declared: "I hate test, in order to exam the protest, I want to be refused entrance exam boy."
He really may be eccentric figure, he says he does not think daring to challenge the ideal system, but, we whether can also think so: it was because he was too afraid of failure, can't handle pressure, and do not choose a response. Dare to face pressure, or are really intolerable pressure, it took a negative escape. Even to the pressure to close, yield. This is what a sad human nature!
Even young children will use and pretend to be sick, or hurt his, staged the adult of sympathy. Even adult will because dare not face pressure, and faking don't go to work. Will they not know, as we face the atmospheric pressure, best method, is the body produces relative by pressure, make it two phase offset, let us suddenly feel relaxed and clinking.
2. 谈压力.
For now, most middle school students, they are now the life than their elders though young when good many, many also happiness, but they enjoy the happy childhood much less, because their elders small of the time is in the field, the company of vegetation spent, and our childhood is the parents' expectations and pressure spent, so for each students is a heavy burden, then the burden from who? Some people can put this all belong to the teacher and school, but this is not the case, and our real pressure from modern the rapid development of the society, in order to adapt to the development of the country, so education degree is in constant ascension, because such students are learning pressure also of ascension in education with the rise.
The root cause of the pressure from social though, and the pressure of the transmission is students' parents, now most of the families have only one child, of course, parents will hope in him, and the infinite expectations for children to perhaps is a kind of infinite pressure. When children's performance is not ideal, the parents that blue eyes and mouth of talks, when children's performance are worse than others, the parents of the sighing sound, when the child places not beautiful, parents of reprimand angrily to sound, for every child who is a kind of invisible pressure. In fact, this comes from social pressure mainly from our nation's population, because our population is too much, so the employment also was more difficult, so this difficult into competition, and competition will become more deeply for each pressure.
Say to that seems like it is human to stress to like, no matter how since age chose you, let you come to this stressful times, so you also must be brave face pressure, facing pressure to bring you all the difficulties and inconvenience, a pessimist sees a calamity will say: "pressure will develop as The Times and growing", but they say the survival of the fittest, if you not to face pressure and how shall you surviving in this world? In this society based on how, has a place? Since you were born in this competitive times, then you must learn to accept all this pressure for life, accept all unhappy, with "with changeless should" involves the old to treat pressure.

1.建议你一段一个中心句,中心句放在段首,这样比较明了简洁易懂.
2.你最好还是三个论点都从正面的角度讲,你的第一个admittedly那一段真的可以去掉,改成另外一个正面的讨论段落.
3.最后一段这句In fact,ever since he entered high school,he has never taken part in any form of entertainment to ensure his study time.As a result,my brother was forced to absorb knowledge in many fields,which is impossible for ancient people.
这句话逻辑有点问题,他有没有参加娱乐活动其实和他能不能获取很多知识没有必然联系.有很多牛叉的人是自己又有知识,又有entertainment的.反之,有些屌丝木有entertainment也啥都不会.
个人觉得25左右吧.还是多写写吧,有空没空找点topic,分析几个围绕着topic的论点.
and good luck

太极宫,大明宫,这两座宫殿是皇帝和后妃所居住的主要宫殿,也是皇帝处理政事的地方
甘露殿是皇帝在内宫之中会见大臣,读书,处理政事的地方

To the St. Rogers Hotel in Beijing
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am sorry that I have to ask a favour of you, with the hope that you will be good enough to help me.
I was careless and have lost my bag in Room 111 I lived in when I staying in your hotel last weekend. The bag is a black one, made of leather with an AAA brand in the middle of the front. And inside are my credit card, wallet and a book named The Art of the War. It is essential that my ID card is also in the wallet which proves my identity
Could you please get in touch with me at your earliest convenience dialing …, my mobile phone, if you have found it. And it will be highly appreciated if you could send it to my workplace at… (通讯地址) via EMS.
Thanks to your help and I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

设作业为x道：
(x除以5)减4=(x除以8)加5
x除以5=（x除以8）加9
8x=5x加360
3x=360
x=120
好多作业·····不太会打你凑合看

The line graph shows that how many people (前边改成The line graph shows the numbers of people) who are at their (their去掉) 65 in Japan,Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2040.It is clear that in three count...

模板化太严重,解释说明不够具体,感觉只有一个框架在支撑.所以你需要做的是,丰富文章内容,让文章活起来.如果觉得我的建议可能能帮到你,邮件交流.yuxdong@indiana.edu

用不同颜色的字和符号.

The Island location influences the U.K.in every respect along the river of history.The U.K.,,still presents lots of features not existing in other European countries today.修改：The Island location affacts the U.K.in every aspect in the long process of history.
As an island country,the UK presents(是想说展现啊还是保留啊?) lots of features which can not be found in other European countries today.

BCABCBCACB 帮你查了一遍,以我高二的水平告诉你没错误了.

雅思作文不是只看语法的,你的结构往往比语法更加重要.你的作文存在一下几个问题：
第一,在首段未表明观点.只是说some people think...却没有说 I think
第二,文章结构不太对.他要求你discuss both views and give your opinion.
那么文章的结构应该是“第一段：背景阐述/表明观点（一句即可,在后面详述)--第二段：讨论第一种观点--第三段：讨论第二种观点--第四段--论述你的观点--第五段：总结”..
你可以自己比对一下.你可以不按照这样分段,但文章中一定要有这些环节.
第三,不善于打句号.总是一逗到底,让人很难明白你到底一句中想要说些什么.建议你一句话只说一件事,不要用太多的长句子.因为这会使你的语言显得非常生涩.
总之,这篇文章应该是3分到4分左右.没有走题,但是也没有你自己的观点的详细论述.
PS：从你的文章中看出,你的基础应该还不错,像普通的高中生.也许有些还写不出这样的 ...可能你是还没有找到写这种英语标准化考试应试作文的精髓.建议你多看点别人写的,或者是买几本书看看.你们考雅思的应该还是有基本参考书的吧,多看看那上面的文章.体会他们的结构.相信你一定可以达到6分的.

1Admittedly , the opinion (that any one through education can do things more professional in one area , which can hold water to some extent )这句话不完整,没有谓语,括号部分为从句.
2Advocates point out that if the society gives them sufficient education and time during their studying age , they will got high scores in the future . 这句话可以改的更紧凑一些,Advocators claim that if certain level of education was made available, students would achieve higher score. 这句话强调的重点是如果学生能够接受一定程度的教育,他们的成绩会更好,the society, in future,这些不是句子强调的重点,为了避免文章的冗余,我把它省略了,我在if这里还用了一个虚拟语气,表假设
3 Education plays a pivotal role in everyone’s life and future education could bring more opportunities when people finding jobs.这句话2个问题,1是句子的冗余,2是没有把句子中的逻辑关系表达出来.我改成 Education plays a pivotal role in everyone's life as it contribute to significantly to job hunting. 我在这里用一个as表示因果关系,英语和中文不同,中文句子之间的逻辑连接很多时候是一种自然衔接,而英文则需要用各种连接词来体现句子或者词组之间的逻辑关系.
4Only if she has enough education to study and enough time to practice . She might be a good sport player (only 引导的条件句是要倒装的,格式是only by doing can sb/sth do...)所以我改成 Only by maintaining enough study and practice activities can she become an excellent athlete.
5Another army of people hold the different opinion that some people are born with certain talents, such as the gift for sport or music. They can do better than others紧凑其间,这2句可以合并成一句,Others may challenge that natural tallent in sport and music may contriute to outstanding achievement in these areas.
6First and foremost, the point is that they got the gift since they were infants, so they would show the talents not more than one thing. If parents found their children had gifts on music, how were they do in the next stage? 议论文强调客观,所以尽量不要用疑问句,还有first and foremost, the point ist that 这段东西还是省略了吧,这只是一个承上启下的连接词啊,我改成First, their natural gift can be perceived when they are very young attracting the investment of more training resources which contribute to their future success.

12.46

Memo
To:All staff Empolyees
From:Rush crawford
Re:Update the telephone system
Date:June,24,2007
As need of business,company plan to update the telephone system.We have three update plans from communications companys in the attachement.Please read carefully and give sugestions.
Please hand in suggestions in the end of this mounth,as we will purchase the new telephone system in the early of next month!

16:30,小朋友采纳吧

things seems to be .seems ---seem
people became not .people do not believe in.
heared.heard
when he saw a dog was attacting she.when he saw a dog attacking her
happened.happen

48-12=36篇 1小时批9篇 36÷9=4小时 望采纳┏ (^ω^)=☞

第一行 some...,while others...
most people regard the success...
句子和句子之间要用句号,或者连接词,注意语法
例子还要再展开具体一点
不要重复用某些词,像happiness,换词
句式要多样一点

目前找到的 :...(重要的错误你没怎么改..)
there was a rich man in a town called Zhang San.
这个called的位置不太好,可能引起歧义
.请紧接被修饰词
he was stay 我..还是无言
He though,’
thought
My house is not big enough to put my money,
这里用的to put my money不太好...
he saw the garden 用his garden更好
If a thief come to my house and take my money away,I will become poor.
comes,takes
He looked it look是vi.这里应该用saw
saw this或者 saw Zhang San hide his money都可以
(补...He saw Zhang San hide his money 为了万无一失..,明确一下主语是Wang Er会更好)
But he was worried about
ABOUT后面放这个从句不太好.而且时态不对
How silly the two men was!men 用were...

8乘5除以（8加2）等于4感谢你的细致回答，我的问题已经解决了，多谢大家的帮助哦！问你一下纳尼？十二分之五乘五分之一乘二乘十二分之五乘五分之二，等于多少？36分之1过程字写的难看，见笑了！字写的难看，见笑了！呵呵没事我还有好多题要问你，你不会嫌我烦吧问吧你是几年级的？我是六年级的一种报纸，如果只订一个月，每份订价15元。如果连续订一年，可以优惠10%。今年小红家连续订了一年这种报纸，一共要付多少元...

等候时间的总和最少,即从最少时间那个同学先批改,一共用时：1*3+2*2+3*1=10分钟
等候时间的总和最多,即从用时最多那个同学先批发：一共用时：3*3+2*2+1*1=14分钟

题目正确得两分
2.字数达到要求得一半的分数
3.标点符号,错别字,病句.有五分给你扣分
4.还剩八分,是属于中心思想是否明确,句子是否优美来评分
5批改的话,你可以写上一些评语,或画出他里面得错误,先不要帮他改,他不明白的话,你可以告诉他那里错误了要怎么改教学目标: 知识与能力目标: 1.认识童话的特点,提高欣赏童话的能力. 2.通过知童话、画童话、讲童话、写童话,训练学生想象表达能力.

http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/132649224.html?oldq=1
难道楼主是看了我以前写的帖子才知道essday institute? 这个机构已经不复存在了,他们转行搞大学申请包装了.至于现在想找人改作文,我只知道有新东方的网批.