幽默 造句

我来亲，对我的回答满意的话，就给个好评吧。如果还有不清楚的地方，可以跟我继续交流哦。先答The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat sa...

一哥们总是丢自行车,他想了个主意,他把新买的一辆车放在楼下,
上了三把锁并夹了一张纸：小样!让你偷!第二天车没丢,哥们很得意.
没想到走近了一看,车上有多了两把锁和一张纸,写着：小样!让你骑————!

你是不是想说翻译成英文?
1.original content
2.talking humorously
3.fluent language
4.easy for understanding
5.be close to the life

一个女人要达到她的丈夫对他的流动电话,但发现她是不可能的信贷;她指示她的儿子用他自己的手机通过各地紧急信息,爸爸谁是施工现场.
经过她的儿子曾要求他回到木乃伊以infrom她说,这是一个女的选择了爸爸的电话的3倍,他试图达成爸爸的手机.妇女!她不耐烦地watied她的丈夫返回施工现场.时刻,她的目光他,她给了他一个非常炎热slap.While该名男子正试图问为什么,她重复了slap.People从周围邻居送往知道的原因他.
该名男子问他的儿子告诉大家什么夫人对他说,当他呼吁,他说：“你的人数正在通话无法到达的moment.Please稍后再试” .

真的要说的话…那我就说了…在此…我为大家说一个骂人的…开始：你十八班武艺不练,你非要练剑,练剑就算了,人要有个追求啊,你剑神,剑圣不当你非要当剑人,你金剑、铜剑不用你非要用银剑…

小题1:A
小题2:B
小题3:D
小题4:B

Xiaoming English class with the teacher,said:"May I go to the toilet?" The teacher said:"Go ahead." Xiaoming sit down.After a while,Xiao-Ming Yougen teacher,said:"May I go to the toilet?" The teacher said:"Go ahead." Xiaoming and sat down.He next to the students ask:"Do you not like a teacher talking about it to the toilet?How not?" Little said:"You heard the teacher say,'go to your head' ah!"

黑色,往往是和一些不好的事联系在一起的.但加上幽默呢?
不少人还以为是冷笑话呢!我倒是认为黑色幽默是很难得的呢.黑中带有幽默,就如黑暗中的喜庆.既然能有喜庆就说明事态转好.其实,也不完全好.因为黑色幽默有时也代表喜悲交加,使人困惑.还代表一片冷寂中的不起作用的喜庆气氛.
还有,就是这个歌词:
难过是因为闷了很久
是因为想了太多
是心理起了作用
你说苦笑常常陪着你
在一起有点勉强
该不该现在休了我
不想太多
我想一定是我听错弄错搞错
拜托我想是你的脑袋有问题
随便说说
其实我早已经猜透看透不想多说
只是我怕眼泪撑不住
不懂你的黑色幽默
想通却又再考倒我
说散你想很久了吧
我不想拆穿你
当作是你开的玩笑
想通却又再考倒我
说散你想很久了吧
败给你的黑色幽默
我的认真败给黑色幽默
大家说呢?

Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."
天气预报
一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.
几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.
最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"
印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."

The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【译文】
老猫
一位老妇有只猫,这只猫很老,它跑不快了,也咬不了东西,因为它年纪太大了.一天,老猫发现一只老鼠,它跳过去抓这只老鼠,然而,它咬不住这只老鼠.因此,老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了,因为老猫咬不了它.
于是,老妇很生气,因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死.她开始打这只猫,猫说：“不要打你的老仆人,我已经为你服务了很多年,而且还愿意为你效劳,但是,我实在太老了,对年纪大的不要这么无情,要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情.”
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."
He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【译文】
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去,当他沿着路走时,在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果,他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果,因为富人会给我更多的食物,他会给我很好吃的东西.”然后他拿起苹果,一把扔到土里去.
他继续走,来到河边,河涨水了,因此,他到不了河对岸,他等了一会儿,然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了,因为我不能渡过河.”
他开始回家,那天他没有吃东西.他就开始去找吃的,他找到苹果,很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了.
不要把好东西扔掉,换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处.
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
【译文】
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友.一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住在城里.很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看.”于是,城里老鼠就去了.乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里.它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠.城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看.”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去.房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了.可是正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来.
过了一会儿,他们出来了.当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里.因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些.”
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽.
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了.

经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱.)
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗?）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师.我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸.）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生.我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸.）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧?）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的.）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你?）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的.这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因.）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉.这个周末我头疼.）

英文幽默哲理小故事：
　　父子二人经过五星级饭店门口,看到一辆十分豪华的进口轿车.
　　儿子不屑地对他的父亲说：「坐这种车的人,肚子里一定没有学问!」
　　父亲则轻描淡写地回答：说这种话的人,口袋里一定没有钱
　　（注：你对事情的看法,是不是也反映出你内心真正的态度?）
　　After his father five-star hotel door and saw a very luxury imported cars.
　　Son of disdain for his father,said:"The people who take such a vehicle,necessarily Moyouxuewen stomach!"
　　Father answered lightly:say such things,certainly no money pocket
　　(Note:Your view of things,is not it also reflects the real attitude of your heart?)
　　Let me take it down
　　An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
　　"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
　　为我所用
　　一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西.”
　　“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来.”老鼠说.“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听.
　　Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
　　Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
　　老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
　　汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
　　（只为成功找方法,不为失败找理由）