求爆笑笑话求这种笑话 小明长了三个蛋蛋，他不知道自己是不是正常，又不好意思问同学，于是他决定问哥哥。但是还是有点不好意思

因为文中的“我”很幼稚 老师正在火上 又写出这样一段幼稚的话 全班才会爆笑

一位语文老师,为学生朗读了一首题为《卧春》的陆游的古诗,要求学生听写出来。
／语文老师朗读如下
／有位学生听写如下
／《卧春》／《我蠢》
／暗梅幽闻花,／俺没有文化
／卧枝伤恨底,／我智商很低,
／遥闻卧似水,／要问我是谁,
／易透达春绿。／一头大蠢驴。
／岸似绿,／俺是驴,
／岸似透绿,／俺是头驴,
／岸似透黛绿。／俺是头呆驴／

床前明月光,对影成三人.踏破铁鞋无觅处,那人却在灯火阑珊处.问君能有几多愁,别是一番滋味在心头.

　　感恩类
　　人的一生中,小而言之,从小时候起,就领受了父母的养育之恩,等到上学,有老师的教育之恩,工作以后,又有领导、同事的关怀、帮助之恩,年纪大了之后,又免不了要接受晚辈的赡养、照顾之恩；大而言之,作为单个的社会成员,我们都生活在一个多层次的社会大环境之中,都首先从这个大环境里获得了一定的生存条件和发展机会,也就是说,社会这个大环境是有恩于我们每个人的.感恩,说明一个人对自己与他人和社会的关系有着正确的认识；报恩,则是在这种正确认识之下产生的一种责任感.没有社会成员的感恩和报恩,很难想象一个社会能够正常发展下去.在感恩的空气中,人们对许多事情都可以平心静气；在感恩的空气中,人们可以认真、务实地从最细小的一件事做起；在感恩的空气中,人们自发地真正做到严于律已宽以待人；在感恩的空气中,人们正视错误,互相帮助；在感恩的空气中,人们将不会感到自己的孤独…… 　　人生道路,曲折坎坷,不知有多少艰难险阻,甚至遭遇挫折和失败.在危困时刻,有人向你伸出温暖的双手,解除生活的困顿；有人为你指点迷津,让你明确前进的方向；甚至有人用肩膀、身躯把你擎起来,让你攀上人生的高峰……你最终战胜了苦难,扬帆远航,驶向光明幸福的彼岸.那么,你能不心存感激吗?你能不思回报吗?感恩的关键在于回报意识.
　　回报,就是对哺育、培养、教导、指引、帮助、支持乃至救护自己的人心存感激,并通过自己十倍、百倍的付出,用实际行动予以报答.

a man was beaten on his way to work beacause he pulled down a woman's skirt ,which was blown up ,then he thought she likes the skirt blown up.unexpectly,was hardly beaten again after he pulled the woman's skirt up.

Q: What's the difference between a monk ey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea ca n't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直 接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢， 那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不 能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定 会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他 会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有 “鸡眼”的意思。

1.我爸爸结婚的时候给了我两千块钱（原意应该是我结婚的时候我爸爸给了我两千块钱）
2.沉重的肩膀压在了我的担子上
3.把胡萝卜切成肉丁
4.向人借钱,本来想说的是”等我取了钱就还你”说成”等我有了钱就取你”

没有议论的纷纷,成不了好纷纷.

He Won
Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.
Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.
汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩

我发给你,太简单了

Father:Well,Tom,I asked to your teacher today,and now I want to ask you a question.Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom:I don't know,father.
Father:Oh,yes,you do!Think!When other boys and girls are doing and writing,who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom:Our teacher,father.
父亲：哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题.你们班上谁最懒?
汤姆：我不知道,爸爸.
父亲：啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?
汤姆：我们老师,爸爸.

哈哈大笑 鹊笑鸠舞 笑面虎 眉开眼笑 喜眉笑眼 笑面夜叉 喜笑颜开 音容笑貌 买笑寻欢 笑逐颜开 语笑喧阗 眉欢眼笑 哄堂大笑

Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf mainly concerns with fights full of wit and humor between two groups of goats and wolves.The story of the play is relaxed and humorous as well as hilarious.Dialogues are humorous,and are smartly melted with fresh words of society.

热带雨林的爆笑生活 [台译-哈雷小子] （ハレのちグウ）是一部描写小孩生活的喜剧漫画.目前正在《月刊少年gan gan》上连载.作者是金田一莲十郎.翻译成英文是 Hare Guu Deluxe

是第三 本单行本,贝有钱本想借机炫耀,没想到都被呆妈抢了风头（超快人心!）＞＜

一 只 眼 睛 看
电影票多少钱一张?10块钱一张,孩子.
我只带了5块钱.放我进去吧,我用一只眼睛看就好了.
那还用说
一天,一个傻子到饭店吃饭.
服务员：先生您来吃饭?傻子：那用还说?服务员：来点酒吗?傻子：那还用说?服务员：我们这里有新鲜的鸡和鱼,要吗?傻子：那用还说?于是服务员端来酒菜,傻子也不客气得大吃大喝起来,吃完以后傻子坐在那里休息,服务员便来节帐.服务员：先生,您一共消费了80块钱,请复帐吧!傻子：那用还说?服务员：你想赖帐?傻子：那用还说?服务员：难道你是傻子?傻子：那用还说?

Jumps the type according to their e generation to ponder the pattern and does not have the thousandth of a Yuan head to explode smiles the logic,no matter all can to be most natural in the sound or in the individuality performance,the purest individual special characteristic displays their individual charm.Presents best one side

钟表
圆圆体育场（表盘）
三个选手（时针 、分针、秒针）

水王 hank 这两个人都很搞笑的

Ehn,it's seems that the water here is really deep!
I'm already angry,please don't drive me further more,then...

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.一天,教授正在给学生们监考.他发下试卷,然后回到讲台前等待.Once the test was ove...

今天是礼拜日,虽然昨天去海洋公园玩到晚上11:00多,可是今天我们起了个大早,就到海洋公园旁边的太平山去摘水果,因为奶奶跟爷爷就住在太平山.
　　我们到了太平山下後,就鞋子脱了开始爬山,大约1分钟就到山顶了.山顶上的空气很好,爷爷带我们去他的果园.
　　哇……爷爷的果园好大,种了好多果树,有西瓜树、草莓树、菠萝树……因为我太小了爬不上树,爷爷就爬上西瓜树,摘了一颗最大的西瓜丢给爸爸,爸爸用一只手就接起来了!
　　果园还有很多长在地上的水果,像苹果、梨子、椰子等等……爷爷摘了一些椰子,用手把椰子皮剥掉,去籽,然後分给每个人吃.椰子好好吃喔!我吃了20几个.表弟还拿椰子丢我的脸,痛死了!
　　吃完了水果大餐,我们到太平山旁边的喜玛拉雅山去玩,听老师说喜玛拉雅山是 世界上最高的山.
　　果然老师没有骗我们,我跟表弟爬呀爬,大概爬了2分钟才到山顶,我热死了.
　　後来我们还是觉得很热,就到山顶泡温泉.好冰凉的温泉哦～喜玛拉雅山真是个好地方.
　後来表弟问我有没有钱,他看到山顶附近有卖麦当劳.死表弟,每次都跟我借钱!
　　我们还在买的时候,听到妈妈在太平山那里喊我们回家,只好依依不舍的走了太平山跟喜玛拉雅山真是个好玩的地方,我以後还要叫爸爸、妈妈带我们来玩.
　　爸爸说如果这次考试,我第一名,这个星期日,他还要带我去东京、北京、南京去玩,我最想去西京,因为我表妹就住在西京.
　　她说其实课本是骗人的,西京有比喜玛拉雅山更高的山,大概要爬3分钟,上面还有很大的夜市跟儿童乐园,还有清澈的小溪.
　　我一定要好好用功然後叫爸爸带我去这些地方玩.

1.burst into laughter 爆笑
2.laugh 大笑
3.explosion 狂笑