整人的诗句就是骂人的,例如“春风又绿江南岸,你爹一去不复返”什么的,越新颖越好,好的会加分的最好是骂得狠点的

函数 分式 分式行程问题 流速问题

请君入瓮 如果有帮到您，请采纳，点击【采纳为满意答案】按钮即可,如果还有问题 请发帖重新提问哦 谢谢拉#^_^#祝您学习愉快

汝乎如厕，汝射乎。爽哉爽哉。驴是的念来过倒。卧春 卧似答春绿 ...详见1366858889空间日志《超级大笑话》我以前是那里看的！

普通玩具店就有卖,很便宜的,我就买了一个,好好玩~

fatty
fatso

伸出一个手指问用英文怎么讲【one】
两个【two】
三个【three】
然后伸一个，三个，一个，三个
就听他讲【one,three;one,three】{万岁，万岁}
嘿嘿

　　The origin of April Fool's Day
　　There are different versions as to the origin of April Fool's Day.The most widespread theory links the day to Gregorian calendar reform while others involve mythological legends or anthropological explanations.
　　关于“愚人节”的来源有各种不同的说法,有人说与一群不愿接受公历纪年的法国保守者有关；也有人说它来源于纪念丰收女神的女儿被诱拐到地狱；还有人说,这个节日始于英国一个名叫“愚人村”的天才村民；另一些说法则认为春天的天气变化无常,因此人们在春分前后可以选择某一日颠倒乾坤,以荒诞的闹剧来迎接春神的到来...至于哪种说法更为可信,全凭您“拭目”定夺喽!
　　April Fool's dictionary Has it ever occurred to you that the word "fool" is used in many different and often contradictory ways?The Bible says "speak not in the ears of a fool,for he will despise the wisdom of thy words," but Shakespeare often used "fools" in his plays as vehicles for wisdom and telling the truth.
　　不要小看Fool,它可是大有学问的吆.《圣经》中有很多关于“愚人”的有趣表达,如:“不要跟傻子说话,他只会鄙夷智者的言论”.在莎翁的戏剧里,Fool也常常出现,但这时的“愚人”可不是傻子而是绝顶聪明的“宫廷小丑”,他拿愚蠢作护身符说出一般人不愿说出的真话,很应了我们汉语中“大智若愚” 的至理名言.
　　Trickery in April Fool's day April Fool's Day is the only day of the year when you can play tricks on people and needn't worry about them getting angry!Here we also introduce to you some moderate pranks.Just remember,play safe and have fun!
　　4月1日,一年中一个既特别又让人胆战心惊的节日,不知这一天会有多少神经细胞因劳神过度而含冤死去.今年的愚人节,我们除了向您介绍四个独具特色的庆祝方式之外,不得不紧随时代需要推荐三个无伤大雅的恶作剧.在您释放心情的一霎那,愿您的朋友也能开怀一笑!
　　Enchanting April Fool's postcard It is said that early April is the season for yong fish.Not only are they easier to catch,but they are more tender and fresh in early April than in other seasons.Accordingly,the yong fish makes a perfect mascot for April Fool's Day.These fish postcards will bring you hours of fun and entertainment.Come on,take a look!
　　人们说,初春的鱼儿味道最鲜美也最容易上钩,不言而喻,笨笨的鱼儿应是四月愚人节的主角.我们精选了几张独具特色的“鱼儿”明信片,在您玩腻了费尽心思的“愚”人游戏之后,不妨进入我们“特别关注”的最后一个环节——轻轻松松欣赏嬉戏耍乐的鱼儿,愚人节“不愚人”又何尝不是一种独具特色的庆祝方式呢?

是这种不是呢
河中生灵神秘死亡，下游居民得上怪病，河岸植物不断变异，是残留农药？还是可怕细菌？敬请关注今晚8点《走进科学》为您播出：你在河边洗脚。 www.***.com
深夜，一声巨响，繁荣大街上突然出现十几个奇怪生物，他们张牙舞爪，做扑倒状，做捶胸状，做撞墙状，还发出呜呜哈哈的莫名声音，听来恶寒，全街道的人都不知道是怎么回事。大家议论纷纷，有人说是火星人，有人说是UFO下来的天外异客，有人说是深山里出来的猿人……到底是天外来物还是另有原因？《走近科学》为您揭开谜底，敬请关注……最后的结论：一群人为一朋友庆生，过于疯狂。

（下面有答案）1. What will you break once you say it? (什么东西一说出来就打破?)
2. Will liars be honest after they die? (骗子死了之后会诚实吗?)
3. What always goes up and never goes down? (什么东西只升不降?)
4. Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun? (男孩为什么让他的狗坐在阳光下?)
5. Why can a bride hide nothing?(为什么新娘子什么也藏不住?)
6. Why is the library the highest building?(为什么图书馆是最高的建筑物?)
7. What is the smallest bridge in the world? (世界上最小的桥梁是什么?)
8. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole? (北极与南极的区别是什么?)
9. What makes naughty boys long to work in a clock factory? (淘气的男孩为什么想去钟表厂工作?)
10. What bird lifts heavy things? (什么鸟能举起重物?)
11. A ship can contain only fifty persons. Now there is alreadyforty-nine person in it. At this time,a pregnant woman comes on andboards the ship. The shipsinks. Why? (有一艘船只能容纳50人,现在已有49人.这时一位孕妇上了船,船就沉了.为什么?)
12. What's the poorest bank in the world? (世界的最贫穷的银行是什么?)
13. What month do soldiers hate?(军人憎恨什么月?)
答案：
1. Silence. (沉默)
2. No, they won’t. They lie still after they die.(不会,他们依旧撒谎.Lie still 躺着不动,依旧撒谎.)
3. Your age. (你的年龄)
4. He wants to have a hot dog. (他想要一条热狗.)
5. Because someone will give her away. (因为有人会揭发她.Give away 揭发,在婚礼上把新娘交给新郎)
6. It has the most stories. (它的楼层最多.Story 故事,楼层)
7. The bridge of a nose. (鼻梁)
8. A whole world. (整个世界. a world of difference 天壤之别)
9. They want to make faces. (make face 做鬼脸,做钟表面)
10. Crane. (鹤.Crane鹤,举重机)
11. Because is a pigboat. (那是潜水艇.pigboat,潜水艇)
12.The river bank.(河岸.)
13.March.(行军.)

这道题的正确答案是：
the end of the world.

1.Nowadays, there appears a phenomenon that the western customs are spreading into the east countries step by step, thus making many inhabitants who live in big cities enjoy themselves on these western festivals such as Christmas Day, April Fool’s Day, etc. Such phenomenon shows us that the world people are getting close gradually and the world is becoming smaller and smaller as well. Therefore, in my opinion, it’s a normal phenomenon s well as a necessary trend.
First of all, it shows that we Chinese have become much opener rather than clinging to some very old customs, which are opposite our living. Looking back on the history, we can find the answer to why our China was very poor and weak in the 1800’s. Yes, the answer is that we closed ourselves not to let other countries know about us, and this led us to a very hard road on which we suffered many wars that many European countries launched. So I think it is more than necessary to accept other customs instead of closing ourselves. Of course, festivals are just the beginning.
What’s more, the Open and Reform Policy results in this. So I want to say it is a great achievement for the policy. Since we took the policy into practice, our country is developing with a rapid speed. No doubt it is an essential trend.
Last but not the least, we may get closer and closer not only to our home friends but also to many foreigners. We can never feel embarrassed for not knowing the other’s customs and manners. And more misunderstandings can be avoided as well.
To sum up, the trend has its great advantage to a certain extent. However, if we admire the western customs too much, it will be a disadvantage because China is our own country, all of us should enjoy a patriotic heart. Wish in the near future, we can see the situation that westerners are enjoying themselves on the Spring Festival.
2.Last March, my mother told my father and me that my grandfather would come in April. We were very happy because my grandfather was an interesting old man and he had not visited us since he went to Hong Kong. On April 1 my father and I bought a lot of food from the supermarket and bought a big bunch of flowers home. Then we did some cleaning at home. At night when we were waiting for my grandfather, the bell rang and in came my mother. She smiled to us and said "April fools"!
希望你满意～

vbs脚本,可执行
主要是二个语句重要.
WSHshellA.run "cmd.exe /c shutdown -r -t 200 -c ""你爱不爱我?不爱我20秒后关机"" ",0 ,true
WSHshell.run "cmd.exe /c shutdown -a",0 ,true
shutdown 关机命令,参数如下
shutdown.exe -a　取消关机
shutdown.exe -s 关机 　　s
hutdown.exe -f　强行关闭应用程序.
shutdown.exe -m \计算机名　控制远程计算机.
shutdown.exe -i　显示图形用户界面,但必须是Shutdown的第一个参数.　　shutdown.exe -l　注销当前用户.
shutdown.exe -r　关机并重启.
shutdown.exe -t时间　设置关机倒计时.设置关闭前的超时为 xxx 秒.对于windows 2003 系统,有效范围是 0-600,默认为 30
shutdown.exe -c"消息内容"　输入关机对话框中的消息内容(不能超127个字符).

卧 春 （我蠢）
卧梅又闻花,（我没有文化）
卧知绘中天.（我只会种田）
鱼吻卧石水,（你问我是谁）
卧石答春绿.（我是大蠢驴）
哈哈,意思差不多

▲你的国语标准吗?请跟我一起念：万万望望、望旺万旺、万腕忘忘、万旺万旺……好了,狗狗别叫了,吃骨头罗.
▲读出下面的字,你将获得月薪2000000的工作,试题如下：簟璁醭歙艽绱癀穑魍旃偬彘硪钚鲥硐.
▲一只猪和一只企鹅被关在-20℃的冷库里,第二天企鹅死了,猪没事.为什么?你不知道?对了,猪也不知道!
今天是国际妇女节,我代表国际妇联正式通知您:所有女厕及女浴池均向阁下免费开放,敬请光临.
▲请大声朗读:：卧梅又闻花,卧枝伤恨低.邀闻卧石碎,卧湿达春绿.
▲一直想对你说句话,可你知道它的分量,一旦说出,可能咱连朋友都没法做了,但我控制不住感情!现在我鼓足勇气对你说：什么时候请我吃饭?
▲记住了,第一：我永远是对的,第二：如果我错了,请参阅第一条.
▲你和我都没有错,都是斗嘴惹的祸,还是不要说抱歉,一起吃饭你付钱.
▲你生气了吧,生气的话就哭-出-来-吧..

A:你有没有鸡蛋糕?
B:鸡蛋糕?我没有鸡蛋糕（鸡蛋高）.
A：什么,你竟然没有鸡蛋高?o(∩_∩)o...哈哈
卧 春 （我蠢）
卧梅又闻花,（我没有文化）
卧知绘中天.（我只会种田）
鱼吻卧石水,（你问我是谁）
卧石答春绿.（我是大蠢驴）

Growing up, there are three things to shape my personality and character training played an indispensable role. That was the beginning of a small rise, people addicted to my whole movie. Entrance examination results came out, I was shocked, normally the top student of the class actually retreated more than twenty. Dream high school and I pass by. So my first real experience to the feeling of failure. The experience of failure in my heart left a deep imprint, so I never forget the meaning of diligence. On the junior high school, my physics class is the class representatives. Close examination, the teacher arranged for me to task for everyone finishing the test center. We looked at the rising scores, listening to everyone enthusiastic applause. Collective unity and dedication these words forever remain in my heart.