幽默的成语：如“气壮山河"是形容最大的嘴.

应该翻译为不聪明,不幽默,也不勇敢
如果要翻译为不聪明,不勇敢,但很幽默 应该是 not smart and brave but funny
那个书名不知道,查了很多资料也没有找到,帮不了你,抱歉

A sense of humor,God's greatest gift to mankind,is universally considered the most valuable personality.It is born within every person's heart,but has to be cultivated.A person without humor is just

“哈哈……”是哪传来的笑声？原来是海曙区青少年宫作文班里传来的。是什么是我们这么捧腹大笑呢？那就是作文李老师的幽默。
走进作文班，就听见李老师在喊安静了。等到全班鸦雀无声时，李老师呢，也就开始说了。只见她推推鼻梁上的眼睛，严厉地说:“今天，我们将怎样写信……”这时，就有一大堆同学打断了老师的话“哎呦，写信都写了上千次了，难道还不会吗？”“你们虽然懂得写信的格式，但是，语言都太单调了。”刚才说“会”的同学还想挽回面子，但是看见李老师用那令人胆战心惊的眼神看他时，刚到喉咙里还没冒出来的话又咽了回去。“现在我们开始吧！”……这时，那位同学很不服气，就假装打起了呼噜。就这样，他得到了应有的下场。别看现在气氛很紧张，待会儿，就会有爆笑的场面了。“现在，我们来讲讲怎么写祝词，如果写给老人，应该怎么写呢？”我马上站起来回答：“祝您
万事如意，寿比南山!”“很好，那么写给军人呢？”还没等我想好，边有一个同学站起来回答，“此致敬礼，鞠躬。”我们大家都觉得可行。可李老师却无比惊讶地说：“这是什么话，难道是这样吗？”李老师边说边做动作。只见她把右手伸过头顶，然后鞠了一个90°的躬，这个动作是大家哭笑不得。
“如果加上作揖，那不会惹更大的笑话了吗？”果然，她的动作使得我们在做的每位同学爆笑不已。许多人都又敲桌子又蹬脚，以此来发泄心中的愉快。李老师喊了几声“安静”后，就说：“希望大家不要再犯样的错误。此回结束，下回再续。”然后一闪，就不见了踪影，这也就代表下课了。
这就是我们的作文李老师，一位正值不惑之年的幽默的老教师。

野火烧不尽 春风吹又生

Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later,the Indian went up to the director and said,"Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However,after several successful predictions,the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him."I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director,"and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders."Don't know," he said."Radio is broken."
天气预报
一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.
几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.
最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"
印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."

幽默的
Friendship is like peeing on yourself:everyone can see it,but only you get the warm feeling that it .
Time is a great teacher,but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
Never take life seriously.Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Girls are like phones.We love to be held,talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
谜语
If you have it,you want to share it.If you share it,you don't have it.What is it?
A secret.
The more you have of it,the less you see.What is it?
Darkness
What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.
What is the moon worth?
$1,because it has 4 quarters.

饿,let me think ^^

有自己的思想最好,祝福你能做好

我会在梦里祝你有个好梦哦

这个句子的毛病是：动词和宾语的搭配不当。乡音是看不到的，是听见的。可以改成：
现在,我又看到了阔别多年的乡亲,听到了那熟悉可爱的乡音,想起了那胶东人所特有的幽默和爽朗的笑声

夸张地表现出“他”的悲惨生活,对于眼泪的描写过于夸张,从而表现他内心的酸楚与痛苦

有时候,你必须接受这个事实：有些事情永远变不回原来的模样.青春的岁月,在欢笑与泪水之中渐渐逝去,爱过几个人,离开过几个人,满身伤痕.但总有一个
人,住在你的心底,虽不会时时记起,每次想起,总会感到无力与悲伤.这是一个成长的过程,饱含辛酸,但总有一天,你会释然.

之所以.是因为

我写一下,==

1 恰到好处
2 百花争艳
3 妙趣横生
4 循规蹈矩

When we are chatting with our friends happily, suddenly if we are talking about the awkward topic, we need to do something to change this situation, what are we gonna do? The answer is using your humo...

世说新语
谢太傅寒雪日内集,与儿女讲论文义.俄而雪骤,公欣然曰：「白雪纷纷何所似?」兄子胡儿曰：「撒盐空中差可拟.」兄女曰：「未若柳絮因风起.」公大笑乐.
以春天的柳絮比喻冬天的白雪..

1 Russian writer Chikov said that one person who does not know how to be humorous and appreciate humor will have no hope.
2 humor can defuse the embarrassing scenes
3 humor can complete some things which couldn't have been completed.
4 humor can enhance the love of life
5 humor can help one get along better with others

①第二段：因为屋内地板乃依····而出是下坡 表现出作者处之泰然的幽默感
②第三段最后一句 用夸张比喻的手法,生动形象具体的表现出蚊子猖獗,语言幽默,不堕俗气,文字简练,修辞精当

初中英语 美文

The speaker in this TED video is George Dyson.He mainly showed us the origin and development of computer through the logs of scientists from more than 50 years ago.The most impressive thing is these logs are not at all dumb but in fact very interesting and humorous.

有趣，祝你学习进步

我的童年没有诗意,只有从秋风卷起的落叶里感受到一点生活原始的浪漫和激情.

Hyperbole is the basis for the engenderment of humour.

首先,楼主,你真的好神秘,竟然让我们来玩“连词成段”,还不给提示,我得幽默的告诉你,悬赏分5分其实对我来说,太少了,少得很凄惨.我不想再翻来覆去跟你讲这些没用的东西,总而言之,言而总之,你自个儿动脑筋吧!!

通过一些表达方式 描写手法 以及一些比较新颖的词句（最好不是网络语言）对待事情有自己独到的见解 分析思路清晰 但是前提是你有足够的底子哦.所以建议你先多看一些书

马克吐温又转过头对坐在她左边的一位少女说“你真优雅!”少女瞧了瞧他,笑了笑“你却显得很粗鲁!”,马克吐温淡然一笑“我只对真正优雅的人才优雅.”
马克吐温又转过头对坐在他右边的一个小姑娘说“你真美!”,小姑娘转过头,突然惊呼“你好丑啊!”
马克吐温很无语,于是低下头看书.

小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
二
A; How are you
怎么是你,
B:how old are you?
怎么老是你?
A:You don't bird me,I don't bird you.
你不鸟我,我也不鸟你
B:You have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers !together .
你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!
A:You Give Me Stop!
你给我站住!
as far as you go to die
有多远,死多远!
B； I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face.
给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸 .

哎,不好意思,无能为力

Hi!I am a happy and quiet girl.I am from Chin.I am twelve years old,I am a pupil,I am in Class Three Gread Four.I many good friends.I like many pet,the peacock panda rabbit and bird,they are lovely.I am tall ,I have around face,these are big eyes small mouth small nose on my face.I have a black long hair.I like eatting apple banana eggpiant chicken and...I like music sing run pinting...I often saying:book is my good frieng,I like it!Whate am Yes,my name is Lv Enhui.
Do you like me?
Mr.And Mrs.Gray live in a big city.They have only a son.His name is Peter.Peter does not like washing.One summer they went to a small town for a holiday and lived in a small house.
When they arrived at the houde,Mrs.Graytold Peter,"We will stay here for two weeks.”
The boy ran into the house and looked in all the rooms,and then he ran back to his mother and said to her,“I found no bathtub here ,Mum .Where is it?”
“This is a very small house,Peter,” his mother said,“and there is no bathtub.”
“That’s very good,”Peter said happily.“There is going to be a very nice holiday.”
Do you eat good food every day?It’s important you need oranges and bananas,but you don’t need ice-cream.You need salad and broccoli,but you don’t need French fries.Write a list of the food you eat,Is it good food?Do you eat right?Every day?
1.Do you eat good food every day?

略


执拗罗西
人们在经过心理挫折后，一般明显的简单的负面情绪是消沉，其实还有一种貌似积极的反应，就是执拗。有个幽默说，加拿大航天部门首次好不容易将宇航员送上太空，但是他们很快得到报告，宇航员在失重状态下用圆珠笔根本写不出字来。于是航天部门用了10年时间，花了120亿美元，终于发明了一种圆珠笔。这种笔适用于失重状态、身体倒立、水中、任何平面物体、零下300摄氏度
而事实上，俄罗斯人在太空一直用的是铅笔。
执拗，如果用在立志 上，是可取的；如果用在处世上，就该三思。
在艾尔基尔地区,山里的猴子经常跑到农户家里捣乱，所以当地人发明了一种捕猴子的方法：在家门口放一玻璃瓶子，里面装一点米，诱使猴子来，瓶颈的尺寸有奥秘，很细小，恰好可以容纳一个猴子的爪子伸进去；猴子夜里来偷米，把它细细的爪子，顺着那个瓶颈伸进 去；到了早上，你会看见一只一只猴子还在那里跟那个瓶子较劲儿，原来它们手里都紧抓着大把的米，但就是拔不出来

猫是人们宠爱的小动物，它温驯，活泼，可爱，能捉老鼠，博得主人的欢心。 刚出生的小猫，眼睛闭着，叫声细弱，浑身光秃秃的，好似一个会蠕动的肉团团。 满月以后，绒毛才全部长齐。有的颈圈是白色，四肢长满白毛，背部黑中杂有灰白，尾巴灰黑；有的从头到尾披一件油墨“大氅”，脚掌却是白色，人们说是良种，叫“乌云盖雪”；有的通体黄色，现虎斑纹，人们给它美名“金不换”；还有一身白毛配上一条黑毛尾巴的，被称为“雪里拖枪...

你是什么版的?
1.(遥)相呼应
2.(知)难而进
3.你是怎么理解“幽默”这2个字的?请把你的理解写下来：＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿.
4.诺贝尔一生在(机械)和(化学)方面有许多发明,共取得(355)项发明专利.
二.积累运用(在下面的横线上填写合适的诗句、谚语或格言)
1.常言道：“人心齐,泰山移.”只要我们齐心协力,
献计献策,就一定能找到解决问题的方法.
2.爸爸经常教育我：“谁言寸草心,报得三春晖.”孝敬父母要
从点滴小事做起.
3.除夕之夜,家家团圆,漂泊在外的游子会有：“故乡今夜思千里,霜鬓明朝又一年.”的感慨.
三、口才展示.
1.小区刚刚铺好了一大片草地,请你为物业管理公司设计一条公益用
语,提醒人们爱护草地.
小区是我家,爱草靠大家.
四、读写春联.
玉犬红梅,普天为瑞,
和风甘雨,遍地呈祥.
这道题抄写就可以.
我知道这个新年是十二
生肖中的(兔)年.
看在我费了好大功夫而且又是第一个,你就选我吧.谢了

干什么写这么长!
我当年的,我只是给你参考,这种事情要靠自己
发自内心才能感动他人
大家好（鞠躬）
我是**号考生（不能说名字）,我来自** 生肖属羊,却是金牛座
所以我的性格有时像羊一般温顺,也时常发发牛脾气（抄的）
我的兴趣爱好很广泛（多说点没事,嘻嘻）看书,写作,运动都有涉猎（这词语）
不过我的最大的兴趣爱好是看电影,比如岩井俊二的因为他的每一场电影都会给人来一场 视觉享受的同时也能给与人精神陶冶（发自内心）
（最后总结很总要,语气!）我喜欢--纪伯伦的一句话:生命的确是黑暗的,除非是有了激励;一切的激励都是盲目的,除非是有了知识;而一切的知识确是徒然的,除非有了梦想（最后一句自己改的,对不住纪老了）
(赶快引入）我的梦想是成为一名出色的编导创造出一流的作品给大家,我相信只要有梦想就会通往幸福的大道（效果那个好啊,只可恨很多学校没这项目,不然不吓死他们
现在看起来还真傻傻的（不过当时效果还真不错,
我在家就练习了好几十遍,

明代冯梦龙《古今谭概》中记载：某书生家贫,无酒为友祝寿,遂持水一杯,谓友人曰：“君子之交淡如.”友人知其意,应声曰：“醉翁之意不在.”出句系俗语“君子之交淡如水”中藏去“水”字,对句则是《醉翁亭记》：“醉翁之意不在酒”中隐去“酒”字.纯朴友情,尽在对中.
http://baike.baidu.com/view/1539122.htm

解题思路：电源是提供电压的装置，有电压时，电路还必须是通路，电路中就会有持续电流．根据得到持续电流的条件进行分析．

不能．
因为要得到持续电流的条件是：电路两端有电压，且电路是通路，即电路闭合是电流流通的必要条件，故儿子的设想不能成立．
故答案为：不能

点评：
本题考点： 闭合电路的欧姆定律．

考点点评： 本题考查了产生持续电流的条件，属于基础性问题．

看看《明朝那些事儿》吧,看看历史上的一些风趣事,看看历史人物说出来的幽默话吧,一定会让你哈哈哈哈笑起来的.This is 幽默的魅力!
再教给大家一种办法吧：如果要说“可爱”的话,建议用“卡哇伊”代替
讲完话说“撒”显得幽默可爱
如果不满意,请给我留言

踩到屎千万别吱声,在边上看看还有谁去踩.

你好根据你的描述,推荐你可以先说一下你的寒假作业是哪一种,我或许可以帮您.
如果要真同学帮忙的话,对老师暂时设置到黑名单.
在空间发表说说：同学们,同学们,是不是闲的蛋疼没事做呢,那你就帮我做件事吧,寒假作业,你辅导我行不?
就算是我求你们了,帮个忙吧,我请你们吃麻辣烫,随便点,我付钱!

Humor is the wisdoma of life.
Humor is good for our mind and body.
To foster a sense of humour one must have an open mind and the ability of dealing with unpleasant things.

The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mou...

1女子医院广告:没到女子医院,别放弃生育梦想.（到了女子医院,就放弃了.）
2想知道清嘴的味道吗 清嘴含片
看看这个：一理发师挂出招牌：我只给所有不自己理发的人理发.（他的头发怎么理?）
3英特尔奔腾：给电脑一颗奔腾的“芯”.
4校长说：不能穿混混装!
他说：穿什么就是什么,森玛服饰.

杨为端来水果，水果中有杨梅。孔君平指着杨梅对他说：“这是你家的水果。”孩子应声回答：“我可没有听说孔雀是您家的鸟。”

1仅那个绷开线的大书包,就把我们勒得跟登山运动员那样善于负重
2我哭过、恼过,在学校的合唱队领唱过,在恶作剧之后笑得喘不过气来
3老师们要以身作则,所以我每当大摇大摆屡屡犯规,都没有被当场逮住.
4我的三个“同谋犯”或者由于考试的威胁,或者受到良心的谴责,把决心坚持到底的我撂在一片惴惴然的黑暗之中.
5我撮起嘴唇,学吹一支电影里的小曲（其实我根本不会吹口哨,多少年苦练终是无用）.
6这期间,林老师在我身旁走动的次数比往常多,停留的时间似乎格外长.以致我和她,说不准谁先扛不住,就那样背过气去.
7被狠狠扣了七分,从此我也把这个叛逃的单词狠狠地揪住了
8沉默了一会儿,只听见一群相思鸟在教室外的老榕树上幸灾乐祸.
这些都是智慧幽默的句子

The World's Greatest Swordsman
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman,the third-place fencer took the stage.A fly was released,and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half.The crowd cheered.Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters.A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way!The crowd was aghast.The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely,yet he continued to smile.
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled."You missed!"
"Ah," replied the swordsman,"you weren't watching very carefully.They fly lives,yes - but he will never be a father."
世界上最伟大的击剑手
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了.一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半.观众欢呼起来.紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半.现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场.
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了.最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着.
“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道,“你没击中!”
“啊,”剑手答道,“你刚才没有很仔细地看.苍蝇还活着,是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了.”

十年后的今天,我也站在了三尺讲台上,从事着和你同样的工作,有着和你一样的经历,可我有些话想对你说,那就是谢谢你给我了学习的自信.
在上学时,我是性格内向、缺少自信心的孩子.上课时,老师的提问我从来不敢举手回答,因为我没有勇气怕回答错了.
那是你给我们上的第一节语文课,班上的学生都举手争着回答问题,我却始终没有敢举手.就在这时,你点到我的名字,让我起来回答问题.我战战兢兢地站了起来,口还没有开,已经是满脸绯红,一副很难堪的样子.看到我这个样子,你说：“同学们,掌声鼓励鼓励她好吗?”掌声中,我抬起头,眼睛转向了你,当时我的目光里充满了犹豫和顾虑,仿佛在说：“老师,我行吗?”你看着我微笑着肯定地点了点头,于是我就鼓起勇气小心翼翼地回答你的提问.当时我的声音不大,甚至有些发抖,但总算把那个问题完整地回答完了.等我回答完时,你又向我伸出大拇指,并夸我棒极了,我感激地笑了笑.这时的我觉得自己很了不起,心里暗暗地想,我下一节课还要回答老师的提问.下课铃声响了,我缓缓走到你的身边,涨红着脸说：“ 老师,我想……下节课还回答,你再提问我吧.”你微笑着说好吧.我说了声“谢谢老师”后,满意地走了.
老师就是你那亲切的一笑和鼓励的眼神让我感到了无限的温暖,给我带来了自信与快乐.那亲切的一笑成了我学习上的动力.
这件事虽然过去了很多年,但在我的心中却始终没有忘记.多年后我也成了一名教师,我也会用同样的方法对待我的学生.

He Won
Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.
Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.
汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球,一个老美看到就笑我说,"Do you
know what does it mean?It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性,缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快,联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围,他说,有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn,他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S,(All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔!下次就换你去取笑老美了
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

Thank you,my English teacher!
Hair down homework, watching the red trekking in that comment is, my eyes filled with tears …The teacher is hard gardener, we are the flowers!