求COME COVER ME的歌词翻译

歌曲名:Sleepwalker歌手:Adam Lambert专辑:For Your EntertainmentSleepwalkerAdam Lambert I saw a picture of youHanging in an empty hallwayI heard a voice that I knewAnd I couldn"t walk awayIt took me back to the endOf everythingI taste it all I taste it allThe tears againOutside the rain"s fallin" downThere"s not a drop that hits meScream at the sky but no soundIs leavin" my lipsIt"s like I can"t even feelAfter the way you touched meI"m not asleep but I"m not awakeAfter the way you loved meI can"t turn this aroundI keep running into walls that I can"t break downI said I just wander aroundWith my eyes wide shut because of youI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerLet me out of this dreamEverywhere that I goI see another memoryAnd all the places we used to knowThey"re always there to haunt meI walk around and I feel so lost and lonelyYou"re everything that I wantBut you don"t want meI can"t turn this aroundI keep running into walls that I can"t break downI said I just wander aroundWith my eyes wide shut because of youI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerLet me out of this dream, dreamLet me out of this dreamI can"t turn this aroundI keep running into walls that I can"t break downI said I just wander aroundWith my eyes wide shut because of youI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerLet me out of this dreamhttp://music.baidu.com/song/448378

sleepwalker

梦游迷人国家生活

I saw a picture of you 我看见了你的肖像Hanging in an empty hallway 挂在空荡的大厅入口I heard a voice that I kenw 熟悉的声音在耳边响起And I couldn"t walk away 我已无法挪动I took me back to the end of everything 过往的一切慢慢浮现I taste it all I taste it all 我唯有独品这五味陈杂The tears again 眼泪，又一次滑落Outside the rain"s fallin" down 屋外下起了雨There"s not a drop that hits me 却没有一滴打到我身上Sream at the sky but no sound is leavin" my lips 想对着天空大喊却发不出一个音节It"s like I can"t even feel after the way you touched me 宛若我已无法感觉你的轻抚L"m not asleep but i"m not awake after the way you loved me 你的爱让我虽醒尤睡I can"t turn this around 我无法对此释怀I keep running into walls that I can"t break down 我唯有继续跑向那些我无法推倒的墙I said I just wander around with my eyes wild shut because of you 因为你，我紧闭双眼，自欺道只是随便晃晃I"m a sleep walker,walker,walker 我形如梦游，梦游，梦游Let me out of this dream 让我走出这个梦吧Everywhere that I go 无论走到何处I see another memory and every place that I used to know 眼前都是我们回忆与熟悉的地方They"re always there to haunt me 那些回忆总萦绕在我身旁I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely 我漫步走着，感到如此的迷茫，孤独 You"re everything that I want 你是我的一切But you don"t want me 而我却不是你想要的I can"t turn this around 我无法对此释怀I keep running into walls that I can"t break down 我唯有继续跑向那些我无法推倒的墙I said I just wander around with my eyes wild shut because of you 因为你，我紧闭双眼，自欺道只是随便晃晃I"m a sleep walker,walker,walker 我形如梦游，梦游，梦游Let me out of this dream，dream 让我走出这个梦吧Let me out of this dream 让我走出这个梦吧I can"t turn this around 我无法对此释怀I keep running into walls that I can"t break down 我唯有继续跑向那些我无法推倒的墙I said I just wander around with my eyes wild shut because of you 因为你，我紧闭双眼，自欺道只是随便晃晃I"m a sleep walker,walker,walker 我形如梦游，梦游，梦游I"m a sleep walker,walker,walker 我形如梦游，梦游，梦游Let me out of this dream 让我走出这个梦吧

歌曲名:Sleep Walk歌手:Jeff Beck专辑:BeckologySleepwalkerArtist(Band):NightwishClose your eyesFeel the ocean where passion liesSilently the sensesAbandon all defencesA place between sleep and awakeEnd of innocence, unending masqueradeThat"s where I"ll wait for youHold me near youSo close I sear youSeeing, believingDreaming, decievingA place between sleep and awakeEnd of innocence, unending masqueradeThat"s where I"ll wait for youSleepwalker seducing meI dare to enter your ecstacyLay yourself now down to sleepIn my dreams you"re mine to keepSleepwalkerSleepwalkerSleepwalker seducing meI dare to enter your ecstacyLay yourself now down to sleepIn my dreams you"re mine to keephttp://music.baidu.com/song/8802946

天下无双《天下无双》是中国歌手张靓颖演唱的歌曲。由樊馨蔓、时勇作词，陈彤作曲。歌曲为电视剧《神雕侠侣》主题曲。Scarborough Fair《Scarborough Fair》是由Sarah Brightman作词，Sarah Brightman作曲，莎拉·布莱曼演唱的歌曲，该歌曲收录于莎拉·布莱曼2006年发行的专辑《La Luna》中。还有张靓颖的“画心”，金莎的“梦千年之恋”等。

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

普罗维登斯的方式规定与梦游者的保证

偏向国语还是英语涅？

同学！！英文的笑话都是冷的！！都要反应能力还不错的人才能明白！！所以，你说冷笑话滚那你就找不着英语笑话了！！

善用百度百科啊看看http://baike.baidu.com/view/10198.html?wtp=tt除了所有的专辑和歌曲名，还有详细资料

故事主要讲述日本天才钢琴家阿字野因为车祸而导致手部受伤，在心灰意冷之下，阿字野抛弃了他的钢琴。殊不知被弃在森林里的钢琴却为一小孩发现，而小孩慢慢与钢琴发展出深厚感情，在缘份的牵引下，阿字野发现这小孩便是自己的学生海，最令他惊讶的是，海竟透过森林中的钢琴孕育出天才的音乐感，那是能在世界发光发热的音乐感，阿宇野决定把海带到世界去。钢琴之森是由女作家、漫画家一色真人创作的一部励志青年漫画，故事的主要人物有一之濑海、雨宫修平等。动画音乐月光（Moonshine ～月あかり～）作词：松尾洁作曲：松本俊明编曲：安部润演唱：松下奈绪专辑：《Moonshine ～月あかり～》音乐专辑01Moonshine～月あかり～02Sleepwalker03Moonshine～月あかり～（instrumental)04Sleepwalker(instrumental)【钢琴之森OST】钢琴之森 Original Soundtrack　発売日：2007/7/11レーベル： SMJ(SME)(M)収録时间： 75 分音楽：篠原敬介ピアノ：ウラディーミル·アシュケナージ演奏：マリオ·クレメンス指挥 チェコ·フィルハーモニー管弦楽団01. Forest of the Piano （advanced version）（4:17）02. カイの森（2:37）03. 禁じられた游び（2:17）04. 意地っ张り（1:27）05. ときめき（2:06）06. カイと修平（2:19）07. 辉き（1:36）08. 希望（0:41）09. 木漏れ日（2:33）10 .迷い（1:15）11. すれちがい（2:21）12. 哀愁（2:16）13. 绊（3:26）14. 流れ（1:31）15. 距离（0:35）16. 亡霊（2:17）17. ウェンディワルツ（2:02）18. 确かなこと（0:35）19. 光（3:03）20. 想いの果てに（1:52）21. Forest of the Piano （simple version）（2:13）22. エリーゼのために（2:48）23. ワルツ第6番 変ニ长调 作品64-1 「子犬のワルツ」（1:53）24. ピアノ·ソナタ第3番 ロ短调 作品58～第4楽章 フィナーレ：プレスト·ノン·タント（5:20）25. イタリア协奏曲 ヘ长调 BWV971～第3楽章 プレスト（3:33）26. ピアノ·ソナタ第8番 イ短调 K.310（300d）～第1楽章 アレグロ·マエストーソ（8:35）27. ピアノ·ソナタ第8番 イ短调 K.310（300d）～第3楽章 プレスト カデンツァ（5:09）28. Forest of the Piano （Orchestra version）（4:18）

专集名称： Oceanborn演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 1998-1语言种类： 英文1.Devil_&_The_Deep_Dark_Ocean2.Gethsemane3.Moondance4.Passion_And_The_Opera5.Pharao_Sails_To_Orion6.Sacrament_Of_Wilderness7.Sleeping_Sun8.Stargazers9.Swanheart10.The_Riddler11.Sleepwalker_-_Bonustrack12.Nightquest专集名称： Angels Fall First演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： Spinefarm公司发行日期： 1998年03月语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.the carpenter2.Astral Romance3.4 Etiaeinen4.Beauty And The Beast5.a return to the sea6.2 witchdrums7.Once Upon A Trobadour8.1 vi9.nymphomaniac fantasia10.know why the nightingale sings11.3 this moment is eternity12.elvenpath13.Tutankhamen14.Angels Fall First专集名称： Sleeping Sun(MaxiCD)演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 1999-1语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|能量金属|[Power Metal]1.Sleeping Sun2.Walking In3.Swanheart4.Angles Fall First专集名称： Wishmastour2000演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2000-1语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.Wishmaster2.Sleepwalker (Heavy Version)3.Sleepwalker (Heavy Version)4.Nightguest5.A Return to the Sea6.Once Upon a Troubadour专集名称： Wishmaster演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2000-1语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|交响金属|[Symphonic Metal]1.Come_Cover_Me2.Deep_Silent_Complete3.Fantasmic4.Bare_Grace_Misery5.She_Is_My_Sin6.Two_For_Tragedy7.Wanderlust8.Wishmaster9.dead boy is poem10.The kinslayer11.Crownless专集名称： Over the hills and far away(Spinefarm)演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2001-1语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|交响金属|[Symphonic Metal]1.Over the Hills and Far Away2.10Th Man Down3.Away4.Astral Romance专集名称： From wishes to eternity演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2001-11语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|能量金属|[Power Metal]1.The Kinslayer2.She Is My Sin3.Deep Silent Complete4.The Pharaoh Sails to Orion5.Come Cover Me6.Wanderlust7.Instrumental (Crimson Tide Deep Blue Sea)8.Swanheart9.Elvenpath10.Fantasmic Part 311.Dead Boy"s Poem12.Sacrament of Wilderness13.Walking in the Air14.Beauty & the Beast15.Wishmaster专集名称： Over the hills and far away(Drakkar)演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2001-8语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|能量金属|[Power Metal]1.Over The Hills And Far Away2.10th Man Down3.Away4.Astral Romance5.The Kinslayer (Live)6.She Is My Sin (Live)7.Sacrament Of Wilderness (Live)8.Walking In The Air (Live)9.Wishmaster (Live)10.Deep Silent Complete (Live) 专集名称： Ever Dream (single)演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2002-1语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.Ever Dream2.Phantom Of The Opera3.The Wayfarer专集名称： Century Child演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2002-10语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.Bless The Child2.Dead to the World3.Feel For You4.Ever Dream5.Ocean Soul6.The Wayfarer7.Beauty Of The Beast8.Forever Yours9.End of All Hope10.Slaying The Dreamer专集名称： Bless the child(single)演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2002-12语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|交响金属|[Symphonic Metal]1.Bless the Child (Edit)2.Bless the Child3.Lagoon专集名称： Tales From The Elvenpath演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2004语言种类： 英语音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.Wishmaster2.Sacrament Of Wilderness3.End Of All Hope4.Bless The Child5.Sleeping Sun6.She Is My Sin7.Walkin In The Air8.Stargazers9.Over The Hills And Far Away10.The Kinslayer11.Dead Boys Poem12.Sleepwalker13.Nightquest14.Lagoon15.Wayfarer专集名称： Once演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： Warner Music发行日期： 2004年06月07日语言种类： 英文音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.Dark_Chest_of_Wonders2.Wish_I_Had_an_Angel3.Nemo4.Planet_Hell5.Creek_Marys_Blood6.The_Siren7.Dead_Gardens8.Romanticide9.Ghost_Love_Score10.Kuolema_Tekee_Taiteilijan11.Higher_than_Hope专集名称： Wish I Had And Angel [Single]演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2004年10月13日语言种类： 英语音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌剧金属|[Orchestral Metal]1.Wish I had an angel2.Ghost love score (instrumental score)3.Where were you last night4.Wish I had an angel (demo version)专集名称： The Siren [EP]演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2005语言种类： 英语音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|能量金属|[Power Metal]1.the siren (edit)2.the siren (album version)3.the siren (live version)4.the siren (live version)5.kuolema tekee taiteilijan (live version)专集名称： Bestwishes演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2005语言种类： 英语音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|交响金属|[Symphonic Metal]1.Stargazers2.The Kinslayer3.She Is My Sin4.Ever Dream5.Come Cover Me6.Know Why The Nightingale Sings7.Bless The Child8.End Of All Hope9.The Riddler10.Sleepwalker (Original Mix)11.Crownless12.Sacrament Of Wilderness13.Walking In The Air14.Beauty & The Beast15.Wishmaster16.Over The Hills & Far Away17.Sleeping Sun专集名称： End Of An Era演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： 未知发行日期： 2006年06月02日语言种类： 英语音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|能量金属|[Power Metal]1.dark chest of wonders 2.planet hell3.ever dream4.the kinslayer5.the phantom of the opera6.siren7.sleeping sun8.high hopes9.bless the child10.wishmaster11.slaying the dreamer12.kuolema tekee taiteilijan13.nemo14.ghost love score15.stone people16.creek marys blood17.over the hills and far away18.wish i had an angel专集名称： Dark Passion Play演唱歌手： NightWish发行公司： Finland发行日期： 2007年9月3号语言种类： 英语音乐风格： 摇滚/金属|歌特|[Gothica]1.The Poet And The Pendulum2.Bye Bye Beautiful3.Amaranth4.Cadence Of Her Last Breath5.Master Passion Greed6.Eva7.Sahara8.Whoever Brings The Night9.For The Heart I Once Had10.The Islander11.Last Of The Wilds12.7 Days Of The Wolves13.Meadows Of Heaven

转学到某乡下小镇的雨宫修平，是一个以成为钢琴家为目标的小学5年级学生。在眼看就要被学校坏孩子欺负的时候，他被同学一之濑海所救，两人从此相识。在一之濑海的带领下，雨宫修平见到了一架被舍弃森林中的钢琴，更发现除了从小就把这架钢琴当作玩具的一之濑海能用它演奏出美妙自然的音色之外，练习了这么多年钢琴的自己，竟然更本弹不响这架钢琴。学校里的音乐老师阿字野，在听说海能够弹响这架钢琴之后，却表现出了出人意料的激动。在这个伸手不见五指的夜晚，阿字野磕磕碰碰地在森林中寻觅着那架被自己心灰意冷遗弃了多年的钢琴，终于见到了一之濑海正在演奏的身影。在怀念中感动得流泪的阿字野，握住了一之濑的纤细小手。“你愿意，和我一起弹钢琴吗？”大约许多人都有着类似的童年记忆：在应付完繁重的学校课业后，即便是假期也被迫听从父母的意见，没完没了地将原本用来玩耍的时间，全部耗在各种补习班以及钢琴、小提琴等器乐训练班上。虽然根据数字统计显示，大约只有1%的孩子在成年后，会真的因为小时候学习乐器而走上相应的职业道路，但父母们对孩子寄予期望的心态实在令人既无奈又叹息。而如今，在由《交响情人梦》的日剧版和动画版引发的古典音乐热潮中，日本年轻人表现出的对古典音乐的热情比起往年来都要来的高涨。在这种情势下，备受瞩目的剧场版动画《钢琴之森》于2007年7月21日上映，并迅速获得了好评，成为一部以清新风格取胜的，适合阖家观赏的口碑作品。记忆里那些练琴的辛酸日子瞬间涌上心头，而这样的经历在电影里则成就了一段纯洁美好的友谊，将古典音乐以沁人心脾的痛感手法重新描绘，隽永而真挚。本作改编自漫画家一色诚的原作漫画《钢琴之森 - The perfect world of KAI-》。一色诚凭借《花田少年史》等人气漫画而广为人知，其淡雅的笔触和动人的叙事手法都令人称道。《钢琴之森》从1998年开始大人气连载至今，漫画单行本累计销量已经突破了350万部，其温馨的氛围和细腻的描写，令作品无论在男女老少的读者群中都受到了强烈的支持。此次担任动画制作的，是推出了《穿越时空的少女》《Paprika》等剧场版大作的MAD HOUSE公司。曾监督制作《花田少年史》《Monster》等动画的小岛正幸担任监督，对古典乐造诣颇深的音乐家筱原敬介负责全片配乐，制作阵容可谓豪华。影片虽然小学生作为主角，但是其潜在内涵可谓深远。生动的剧情表述让古典乐这个话题完全不让人感到沉闷，而为了凸现出角色们高超的钢琴演奏技巧，根据实拍画面精心描绘得流畅手指动作更是优雅的让即使对古典乐不甚了解的观众也为之陶醉，整体制作质量及其优良。为了能够与“天才少年的天籁钢琴乐”这一设定匹配，影片还特别邀请来了世界级的钢琴演奏家阿什肯纳奇，亲自担任片中主要的钢琴演奏，集莫扎特、贝多芬、门德尔松、肖邦等名家名曲于一炉，短短一个多小时的影片堪音乐艺术珍品的入门级鉴赏，人文气息浓厚。除了内涵丰富之外，本片在娱乐性上也丝毫不马虎，两位少年主声优分别请来了当红人气偶像上户彩，以及天才童星神木隆之介，这二人在电影《Install》中从有过默契的合作，此次重新聚首，在声音的演出方面也十分搭配，虽然仍不及专业声优的功力，却也正好吻合了电影那种质朴不做作的基调，真实而亲切。【人物介绍】雨宫修平（Amamiya Shuuhei）小学5年级学生。由于父亲是著名钢琴家，他从小就开始接受父母安排的钢琴课程。这次从东京转学来到这所小学之后，很快就与海相识并成为好朋友。一之濑海（Ichinose Kai）小学5年级学生，和母亲怜子两人相依为命过着贫穷的生活。不过他从小就伴着森林里的钢琴一起长大，从而发掘出了天才的钢琴才能。阿字野壮介（Ajino Sousuke）曾经是轰动了全日本的钢琴家，由于意外的车祸而隐退，在海和修平就读的小学里担任着音乐教师。在发现了海的天才钢琴才能后为止惊愕不已。丸山誉子（Takako Maruyama）钢琴大赛上海结识的女孩，贵族家的孩子，心高气傲但一遇比赛就紧张，只有在她家的厕所里抚摸她的宠物狗心情才能平静，她把海当作她家的狗狗温蒂借以平复紧张的心情，被海称为“厕所公主”。

H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O 《---- 一个学生在黑板上写student： i thought you said the chemical composition for water(H2O) was H to Oteacher：。。。。。学生：我以为你说水的化学成分（H2O）是H到O老师：。。。。（无言）

time for miracleif i had yououtlaws of lovewhataya want for mefor your entertainmentsleepwalkertrepassinglay me downmad worldghost town 这个是目前的新专里的

QQ音乐里有他们的专辑和歌曲

结局是在最后几个小时客人达到目标不用关闭，栗栖隆也真实身份是曾对红枫乐园公主拉媞珐·芙尔兰札施加诅咒的邪恶魔法师。在向西也透露出真实身份后神秘消失。在最后的夜晚，可儿江西也与公主告别后伤心离去，当十二点钟声敲响公主并没有如往年一样忘记这一年发生的事（公主需要的能量达到饱和，破解了诅咒），最后可儿江西也继续留在乐园和大家一起发展乐园。扩展资料电视动画《甘城辉煌乐园救世主》改编自轻小说家贺东招二原作的同名轻小说。2014年1月15日富士见书房网站上宣布了该作品动画化的消息。动画由京都动画负责制作，而声优的选择基本是TBS主导。动画官网于2014年4月25日开通，电视动画于2014年10月9日深夜首播，全13集。另有光碟特别篇收录的OVA第14话，2017年3月30日在TBS上播放。作品背景在2012年8月17日发售的《全金属狂潮Another》第4卷书腰上，发布了贺东招二和负责《要听爸爸的话！》的插画家中岛有华共同策划一部新作。在《DragonMagazine》2012年11月号（9月20日发售）上，发表了新作的较详细情报，并决定新作将于2012年12月发售。但稍后在11月，富士见书房官网发布消息说新刊将延期。到这时起，无论是《DragonMagazine》还是富士见书房官网，对于该作仍然只是以“贺东招二×中岛有华新作”来称呼，新作的标题依然是谜。直到2012年12月19日，贺东招二在个人推特上透露自己将有一部名为《甘城辉煌乐园救世主》的新作预定2013年2月发售，这样新作的标题才为大家所知。单行本的第一卷于2013年2月20日正式发售。插画师中岛有华为应援新作的发售，还向Youtube上传了应援PV，PV影像编辑是名叫sleepwalker的职人，旁白则是在动画版《要听爸爸的话！》时认识的声优中村樱（为剧中声优姐姐新子胡桃配音）。参考资料来源：百度百科-甘城光辉游乐园

1one

An intelligent child and a stupid child tests the oral exam, teacher asks the intelligent child; “who invented the electric lamp”, “Edison”, “who had discovered the thunder”, “Madame Curie”, who had discovered the Earth had the attraction ", “Newton”, 100 points, intelligent child to help the stupid child to tell the answer he, teacher asked; “who does your father is”, “Edison”, “your mother is who”, “Madame Curie”, “who tell you”, “Newton”.

Sleepwalking Sleepwalking is a sleep disorder affecting an estimated 10% of all humans at least once in their lives. It is far more common in kids than in adults, as most sleepwalkers outgrow it by the early teen years. It may run in families. So if you or your partner is or was a sleepwalker, your child may be too. Other factors that may bring on sleepwalking include lack of sleep, irregular sleep schedules, illness or fever, and stress. Of course, getting out of bed and walking around while still sleeping is the most obvious sleepwalking symptom. But young sleepwalkers may also sleeptalk. Also, sleepwalkers" eyes are open, but they are not awake and may not realize what they"re doing. It"s hard to wake them up. Sleepwalking is not usually a sign that something is emotionally or psychologically wrong with a child. And it doesn"t cause any emotional harm. They probably won"t even remember the nighttime stroll.

就觉得 NEMO 还可以

英语单词要么就是动词，要么就是名词，哪有一般是动词一半是名词的呀？问题说的不明白

歌曲名:Aria歌手:Anne Elise Keefer专辑:The River Of Golden Dreams Vol. 2Song：ARiASinger:GARNiDELiA子供の顷に いつも见ていた 窓に映った 光の行方(ゆくえ) (小时候 常常看着映在窗户上 光的尽头遥か远くの遥か未来の (遥远地 悠远的未来里)昔话(むかしばなし)で彩(いろど)る天体(セカイ) (有传说中描绘的世界)无数(むすう)の星のトンネル抜けて (穿越无数的星辰隧道)走り続けるレールの音(おと)は (奔跑不停地轨道声)どこで出会うの どこへ向かうの (要在哪里相会 又要去往哪里)ふと见上げたら君のぬくもり (一抬头 便触着你的温柔)星空またたく 思い出奏(かな)でた宙(ソラ) (眨着眼睛的星空 用回忆奏出的宇宙)君と出会い 言叶さえ色あせた (与你的相遇 连语言也为之褪色)星くずが纺(つむ)ぎ出す アリア (星空交织出的 ARiA)届けて このメロディーを (传递出 这旋律)君と描いてた 想いを系(つな)いで (和你一起描绘的思绪相连)溢れ出す この気持ち 刹那 (满溢出的 这思念 刹那间)瞬(またた)く流星のように (就像转瞬即逝的流星)抱いて贯いて あなたの胸につつまれて つつまれて つつまれて (透过你的拥抱 涌入你的怀抱)ため息一つ月が回るわ (叹息回响了一整个月)忘れかけてた 幼(おさな)い言叶 (已经被遗忘的童言)谁かの涙 谁を叹(なげ)くの (是谁的眼泪 又是谁在感叹)裏切られても気づかないブリ (就算被背叛 也当着没发现)空飞ぶ魔法とか 信じて梦见た顷 (相信可以飞翔的魔法 而做梦的时候)集めた星図(ちず) 神话さえ色あせた (汇聚的星空图 连神话也为之失色)走り出すこの思い アリア (不断涌出的这思念 ARiA)続けて このメロディーを (持续的 这旋律)きっと 意気地(いくじ)无し 足迹(あしあと)おざなり (一定会 没出息的 掩饰这足迹)响きだすあの谱面(ふめん) 彼方 (响起地旋律 在彼方)一粒(ひとつぶ) 波纹(はもん)のように (像一缕波纹一样)君に逢えるなら 奇迹さえもユニゾン(みかた)にして (如果能与你相逢 就连奇迹也会相应而起)ユニゾン(みかた)にして ユニゾン(みかた)にして (会相应而起 会相应而起的)気づけばほら 无重力(むじゅうりょく)に うかぶ涙 (用心就能发现 失重的 漂浮的眼泪)闇の中 キラリ 隠せないまま (黑暗中 也闪闪地 隐藏不住)うばたまの梦で逢う (偶然在梦中相遇)君の横颜(よこがお) まだ気づかない (我还没意识到 那是你的侧脸)やめて 意地悪(いじわる)なキスならいらない (打住 恶作剧的吻我不想要)走り出すこの思い (不断涌出的这思念)宙(ソラ)は永远(えいえん) 今手を伸(の)ばす (永恒的宇宙 现在就伸出手)君にあえるなら奇迹さえも 味方にして (如果能与你相遇 就连奇迹也会站我这边)星くずが纺(つむ)ぎ出す アリア (星空交织出的 ARiA)银河のどこを旅する(流れる)？ (要流浪到银河的哪里)いつか 手の届く星ならおしえて (有一天 触的可及的星星会告诉我)光无き この星に (暗然失色的 这颗星星)いつかひとすじ彗星(すいせい)のように (有一天 会像一颗明亮的慧星)夜を突き抜けて わたしの星(もと)へ逢いに来て… (冲破夜空 来到我的星中…)逢いに来て…逢いに来て… (来到我的星中…来到我的星中…)Lyrics：lino／木绪なち／toku／Music：tokuAdditional Musicians／Guitar：sleepwalker／Bass：ORYO収録：(C79)(同人音楽)GARNiDELiA - One／発売日：2010/12/31http://music.baidu.com/song/14977293

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I"m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can"t jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I"m just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!6、Boy: Is this seat empty?男孩：这个座位是空的么？Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。7、My little dog can"t read我的狗不识字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”8、My Wife Will Exchange Them反正我太太明天会来换的A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。″Makes no difference ″replied customer.“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。″Any″ he responded.“什么颜色都成。”他回答。″Size﹖″“号码呢？”″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”推荐于 2019-10-31TA的回答是否帮助到你了?能够帮助到你是知道答主们最快乐的事啦!

"igothewaythatprovidencedictateswiththeassuranceofasleepwalker."“我去天意使然，与一个梦游者的保障方式。”

Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn"t see the bird, ma" am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma"am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I"ve Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City"s Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？” 英语笑话（一） Q: What"s the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can"t have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can"t read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I"m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man"s party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

* 回复内容中包含的链接未经审核，可能存在风险，暂不予完整展示！ Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom."What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn"t see the bird, ma" am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma"am, it just resembles your hair. "Notes:(1) inform v.告诉(2) nest n.窝；巢(3) description n.描述(4) encourage v.鼓励(5) resemble v. 相似；类似18.鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”I"ve Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue! "Notes:(1) poisonous adj.有毒的(2) Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。我刚咬破自己的舌头“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”A Woman Who FellIt was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City"s Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"摔倒的女人上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”英语笑话（一）Q: What"s the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can"t have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn?如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。英语笑话（二）He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。英语笑话（三）Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."它们是从美国直接带来的一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”英语笑话（四）my little dog can"t readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.-- I"m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.-- Well, bring me the winner then.给我那个打赢的吧-- 服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。英语笑话（六）The mean man"s party.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-hangded, are you?"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。英语笑话 http://www.e********.com/Article/joke/Index.html 有声英语笑话,推荐 http://www.e********.com/tingli/joke/Index.html展开好的继续出发回家吃饭解放军亟待解决的

歌曲名:Sleepwalk歌手:Ultravox专辑:Pure Soft Rock『Sleepwalker』作词：松尾洁作曲：酒井阳一编曲：Maestro-T歌：松下奈绪眠（ねむ）りの森（もり）に迷（まよ）い込（こ）んだわ木々（きぎ）がささやく声（こえ）さえ　もうシネマ（しねま）のスコア（すこあ）みたいこんな気持（きも）ちは初（はじ）めてじゃないママ（まま）に抱（だ）かれていたころ　そしてあなたに出会（であ）ったとき目（め）を　つもるだけで私（わたし）はSweet Little Girl朝阳（あさひ）も见（み）つけられず戸惑（とまど）う私（わたし）がいる灯（あか）りをともすようにあなたが瞳（ひとみ）　ひらいたさめない微热（びねつ）もてあましてはふたりでいることの意味（いみ）　ちょっと考（かんが）えすぎてたかな耳（みみ）　澄（す）ませば聴（き）こえてくるOld Love Song言叶（ことば）にできないから大切（たいせつ）なものがある瞬いた星(ほし)たちの　辉（かがや）きが今（いま）いとしい朝阳（あさひ）も见（み）つけられず戸惑（とまど）う私（わたし）がいる灯（あか）りをともすようにあなたが瞳（ひとみ）　ひらいた风（かぜ）を感じたらすぐここを旅立（たびだ）てるようForever Love 祈（いの）る想（おも）いあなたに重（かさ）ねて　歌（うた）うよby 溯曈Endhttp://music.baidu.com/song/8961449

Sky WalkersI saw a picture of youHanging in an empty hallwayI heard a voice that I knewAnd I couldn"t walk awayIt took me back to the endOf everythingI taste it all I taste it allThe tears againOutside the rain"s fallin" downThere"s not a drop that hits meScream at the sky but no soundIs leavin" my lipsIt"s like I can"t even feelAfter the way you touched meI"m not asleep but I"m not awakeAfter the way you loved meI can"t turn this aroundI keep running into walls that I can"t break downI said I just wander aroundWith my eyes wide shut because of youI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerLet me out of this dreamEverywhere that I goI see another memoryAnd all the places we used to knowThey"re always there to haunt meI walk around and I feel so lost and lonelyYou"re everything that I wantBut you don"t want meI can"t turn this aroundI keep running into walls that I can"t break downI said I just wander aroundWith my eyes wide shut because of youI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerLet me out of this dream, dreamLet me out of this dreamI can"t turn this aroundI keep running into walls that I can"t break downI said I just wander aroundWith my eyes wide shut because of youI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerI"m a sleepwalker walker walkerLet me out of this dream

囧

　　专辑曲目：　　01 - Stargazers　　02 - Gethsemane　　03 - Devil & the Deep Dark Ocean　　04 - Sacrament of Wilderness　　05 - Passion and the Opera　　06 - Swanheart　　07 - Moondance　　08 - The Riddler　　09 - The Pharao Sails to orion　　10 - Walkin in the Air　　11 - Nightquest　　12 - Passion and the Opera (Single Edit)　　专辑曲目：　　01 - She Is My Sin　　02 - The Kinslayer　　03 - Come Cover Me　　04 - Wanderlust　　05 - Two For Tragedy　　06 - Wishmaster　　07 - Bare Grace Misery　　08 - Crownless　　09 - Deep Silent Complete　　10 - Dead Boy"s Poem　　11 - Fantasmic　　专辑曲目：　　01 - Bless The Child　　02 - End Of All Hope　　03 - Dead To The World　　04 - Ever Dream　　05 - Slaying The Dreamer　　06 - Forever Yours　　07 - Ocean Soul　　08 - Feel For You　　09 - The Phantom Of The Opera　　10 - Beauty Of The Beast　　专辑曲目：　　1. Dark Chest of Wonders　　2. Wish I Had an Angel　　3. Nemo　　4. Planet Hell　　5. Creek Mary"s Blood　　6. Siren　　7. Dead Gardens　　8. Romanticide　　9. Ghost Love Score　　10. Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan　　11. Higher Than Hope　　Nightwish: Bestwishes (2005)　　专辑介绍：　　芬兰哥特/交响金属乐队Nightwish在日本发行的精选辑。　　专辑曲目：　　01. Stargazers　　02. The Kinslayer　　03. She is My Sin　　04. Ever Dream　　05. Come Cover Me　　06. Know Why the Nightingale Sings　　07. Bless the Child　　08. End of All Hope　　09. The Riddler　　10. Sleepwalker (Original Mix)　　11. Crownless　　12. Sacrament of Wilderness　　13. Walking in the Air　　14. Beauty and the Beast　　15. Wishmaster　　16. Over the Hills and Far Away　　17. Sleeping Sun　　专辑曲目：　　1. The Poet And The Pendulum　　2. Bye Bye Beautiful　　3. Amaranth　　4. Cadence Of Her Last Breath　　5. Master Passion Greed　　6. Eva　　7. Sahara　　8. Whoever Brings The Night　　9. For The Heart I Once Had　　10. The Islander　　11. Last Of The Wilds　　12. 7 Days To The Wolves　　13. Meadows Of Heaven　　Over the Hills And Far Away（EP）（2001)　　专辑介绍:　　抱歉没找到中文介绍!..但是有没有中文介绍跟好不好听没关系吧?　　专辑所有曲目:　　01 - Over The Hills And Far Away　　02 - 10th Man Down　　03 - Away　　04 - Astral Romance　　05 - The Kinslayer (Live)　　06 - She Is My Sin (Live)　　07 - Sacrament Of Wilderness (Live)　　08 - Walking In The Air (Live)　　09 - Wishmaster (Live)　　10 - Deep Silent Complete (Live)

There once lived a lad who was deeply in love with a girl, but disliked by the girl"s father, who didn"t want to see any further development of their love. The lad was eager to write to the girl, yet he was quite sure that the father would read it first. So he wrote such a letter to the girl: My love for you I once expressed no longer lasts, instead, my distaste for you is growing with each passing day. Next time I see you, I even won"t like that look yours. I"ll do nothing but look away from you. You can never expect I"ll marry you. The last chat we had was so dull and dry that you shouldn"t think it made me eager to see you again. If we get married, I firmly believe I"ll live a hard life, I can never live happily with you, I"ll devote myself but not to you. No one else is more harsh and selfish and least solicitous and considerate than you. I sincerely want to let you know what I said is true. Please do me a favor by ending our relations and refrain from writing me a reply. Your letter is always full of things which displease me. You have no sincere care for me. So long! Please believe I don"t love you any longer. Don"t think I still have a love of you! Having read the letter, the father felt relieved and gave it to his daughter with a light heart. The girl also felt quite pleased after she read it carefully, her lad still had a deep love for her. Do you know why? In fact, she felt very sad when she read the letter for the first time. But she read it for a few more times and , at last, she found the key – only every other line should be read, that is the first line, the third, the fifth … and so on to the end.一个小伙子非常爱一位姑娘，但姑娘的父亲却不喜欢他，也不让他们的爱情发展下去。小伙子很想给姑娘写封情书，然而他知道姑娘的父亲会先看，于是他给姑娘写了这样一封信： 我对你表达过的爱 已经消逝。我对你的厌恶 与日俱增。当我看到你时 我甚至不喜欢你的那副样子。 我想做的一件事就是 把目光移往别处，我永远不会 和你结婚。我们的最近一次谈话 枯燥乏味，因此无法使我渴望再与你想见。 假如我们结婚，我深信我将 生活得非常艰难，我也无法 愉快地和你生活在一起，我要把我的心 奉献出来，但决不是 奉献给你。没有人能比你更 苛求和自私，也没有人比你更 关心我帮助我。 我真挚地要你明白，我讲的是真话，请你助我一臂之力 结束我们之间的关系，别试图 答复此信，你的信充满着 使我兴趣索然的事情，怀有 对我的真诚关心。再见，请相信 我并不喜欢你，请你不要以为 我仍然爱着你！ 姑娘的父亲看了这封信以后，非常高兴地把信给了姑娘。姑娘看罢信也非常快乐，小伙子依然爱着她。你知道她为什么高兴吗？其实，她初读时非常忧伤，但她怎么也不相信那是他的真心话，于是她又默读了几遍，终于，她清楚了该怎样读法。只能一、三、五行如此类推，直到信的结尾.

好多了英语阅读里很多的哦！

i saw a picture of youhanging in an empty hallwayi heard a voice that i knewand i couldn"t walk awayit took me back to the endof everythingi taste it all i taste it allthe tears againoutside the rain"s fallin" downthere"s not a drop that hits mescream at the sky but no soundis leavin" my lipsit"s like i can"t even feelafter the way you touched mei"m not asleep but i"m not awakeafter the way you loved mei can"t turn this aroundi keep running into walls that i can"t break downi said i just wander aroundwith my eyes wide shut because of youi"m a sleepwalker walker walkeri"m a sleepwalker walker walkerlet me out of this dreameverywhere that i goi see another memoryand all the places we used to knowthey"re always there to haunt mei walk around and i feel so lost and lonelyyou"re everything that i wantbut you don"t want mei can"t turn this aroundi keep running into walls that i can"t break downi said i just wander aroundwith my eyes wide shut because of youi"m a sleepwalker walker walkeri"m a sleepwalker walker walkerlet me out of this dream dreamlet me out of this dream dreami can"t turn this aroundi keep running into walls that i can"t break downi said i just wander aroundwith my eyes wide shut because of youi"m a sleepwalker walker walkeri"m a sleepwalker walker walkeri"m a sleepwalker walker walkeri"m a sleepwalker walker walkerlet me out of this dream

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Teacher:IfIcutabeefsteakinhalfandthencutthehalfinhalf,whatdoIget?Tommy:Quarters.Teacher:AndthenifIcutittwiceagain?Tommy:Hamburger.老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿？汤米：四块。老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢？汤米：汉堡。

s back upon us in times of adversity or distress. It always receives us with the same

建议去 开心网www.kaixw.net这里找找。。有挺多的。。你找你喜欢的

http://www.yyxh.org.cn/这里的英语笑话都有译文!A teacher said to her class: "Who was the first man?" “George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly. "How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently. "Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen." But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. "Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?" "I don"t know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn"t George Washington, ma"am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him." 有个老师问班上的学生： “谁是第一个男人？” “乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。 “你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。 小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。” 这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。 “那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？” “我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

【乐队主要专辑介绍】　　Angels Fall First（1997） 　　专辑介绍: 　　残阳如血，一棵孤独的大树站立在山坡上，似乎在等着觅食的鸟儿归巢。这就是Nightwish的上一张唱片Angels Fall First的封套。 　　凭借新"改良"过的作品，97年7月，Nightwish同Spinefarm公司签定了两张专辑的合同。9月，乐队在Spinefarm旗下录制了4首新歌。加上以前的一些作品，首张专辑Angels Fall First于1997 年10月在芬兰发行；1998年3月，在全欧洲发行。专辑中弥漫着浓厚的歌特气息。来自其中的单曲The Carpenter在芬兰排行榜上位列第8，对于一支新乐队来说，这是一个很好的开端。 　　所有曲目: 　　1-Elvenpath 　　2-Beauty And The Beast 　　3-The Carpenter 　　4-Astral Romance (1997) 　　5-Angels Fall First 　　6-Tutankhamen 　　7-Nymphomaniac Fantasia 　　8-Know Why The Nightingale Sings? 　　9-Lappi (Lapland) 　　10-Once Upon A Troubadour 　　11-A Return To The Sea 　　Nightwish: Oceanborn (1998) 　　专辑介绍： 　　到12月7日,乐队至今最成功的专辑《Oceanborn》发布了.它登上了专辑榜第五名,其中单曲《Sacrament of Wilderness》成功的坐上了单曲榜的头把交椅。Nightwish开始全国巡演,等到99年春天,《Oceanborn》在海外成功发行。乐队在欧洲特别是德国极受欢迎,所有作品全部热卖,他们开始参加大型音乐节并进行欧洲巡演了。 　　专辑在密不透风的紧凑氛围下，穿插了两三首柔和的短曲，舒服得令人暂时忘记了重金属的压抑。这时，长笛，钢琴等便表露无遗，让人觉得像走进了鸟语花香地世外桃源一般。我最喜欢的是他们翻唱的名曲“Walking In The Air”，赋予歌曲以金属的霸气同时，不失歌曲原来的婉转。既有“飞流直下”的气势，也有“绕梁三日”的魅力。值得一提的还有几首男女对唱的曲目，感觉上形式有些像Lacrimosa，同样是低沉的男声配上非常悦耳的女声，或者说更像Rammstein与Stoa同台演出，因为这些曲子既带有Rammstein钢铁般的铿锵，也蕴含了Stoa的歌剧与新古典色彩。 　　出版于1998年的专辑《Oceanborn》可以说是延续了第一张作品的全部优点。Tarja那仿歌剧唱腔更加激进，而且吉它和键盘中更加入了许多北欧黑金属的演奏手法,整张专辑十分猛烈，所有快板作品在扫射般的Metal riff与喷火的键盘音符推动下叫人热血沸腾。不多的男女双主唱作品如《Deval&the deep dark ocean》等作品中都有一种有别于其它所谓女声Gothic metal组合的独特气质。键盘这次没有过多的音色变化,全是激进的快板旋律.只在《Swanheart》和《Walking in the air》这专辑里仅有的两首抒情慢歌中变幻出一份柔情。尤其令人称道的是，Nightwish乐队的歌词很多写得不错，这在众多摇滚乐队当中是很难得的。 　　总的说来，Nightwish这张经典之作带来的是一场重金属的极速之旅，偶尔的一两首慢歌，也只不过是紧张刺激之余适当的调剂罢了。无怪乎很多人同意Nightwish的Oceanborn是1998年最佳的重金属专辑之一。 　　专辑曲目： 　　01 - Stargazers 　　02 - Gethsemane 　　03 - Devil & the Deep Dark Ocean 　　04 - Sacrament of Wilderness 　　05 - Passion and the Opera 　　06 - Swanheart 　　07 - Moondance 　　08 - The Riddler 　　09 - The Pharao Sails to orion 　　10 - Walkin in the Air 　　11 - Nightquest 　　12 - Sleeping Sun (Bonus Track) 　　Nightwish: Sleeping Sun（1999） 　　专辑介绍：Sleeping Sun 是NW在1999年发行的一首单曲。 　　Nightwish: Wishmaster (2000) 　　 3专辑介绍: 　　这张《Wishmaster》是他们的第三张专辑，发行于2000年，也是风格发生重大变化并引起广大拥趸争议的一张专辑。 　　女声主唱Tarja用一种很纯粹的古典唱腔和乐队激昂暴烈的鼓点、吉他交织在一起，带来了非同一般的冲击力。唱片的封面也是很有特点：血色黄昏中，一队天鹅从湖面上起飞。岸边，一个小男孩满怀期望的张开了双臂…… 　　专辑中第二首The Kinslayer（应该是译作轼亲者吧）。同时它也是到目前为止听到的四张Nightwish作品中最喜欢的一首了。这首曲子的整体节奏比较快，前奏也相当有特色。而主音则是在For whom the gun tolls的置疑声中开始了她的演唱。一开始并不觉得有什么，直到键盘手Tumoas的声音也加入了进来后，整个歌曲产生了质的变化。一问一答的形式下，尽现了Nightwish的音乐魅力。尤其那句"Not a hero unless you die. Our species eat the wounded ones"更是一语道尽了世态的炎凉。 　　专辑曲目： 　　01 - She Is My Sin 　　02 - The Kinslayer 　　03 - Come Cover Me 　　04 - Wanderlust 　　05 - Two For Tragedy 　　06 - Wishmaster 　　07 - Bare Grace Misery 　　08 - Crownless 　　09 - Deep Silent Complete 　　10 - Dead Boy"s Poem 　　11 - Fantasmic 　　12 - Sleepwalker (Bonus Track) 　　Over the Hills And Far Away（EP）（2001) 　　 　　　专辑介绍: 　　开头便是疾风骤雨的鼓点，极为短促的前奏过后流光溢彩的专业美声接踵而来，整个曲子一气呵成，毫无拖沓冗长之感，古典色彩的美声歌剧式唱腔，与重金属的狂暴与霸气配合得天衣无缝，从第一个音符开始便彻底攫住你的每一个感官，每一个细胞，没有想象的空间，没有回味的时间，只有跟着歌声随着节奏不停的感到振奋．愤怒比哀伤更有力！ 　　专辑所有曲目: 　　01 - Over The Hills And Far Away 　　02 - 10th Man Down 　　03 - Away 　　04 - Astral Romance 　　05 - The Kinslayer (Live) 　　06 - She Is My Sin (Live) 　　07 - Sacrament Of Wilderness (Live) 　　08 - Walking In The Air (Live) 　　09 - Wishmaster (Live) 　　10 - Deep Silent Complete (Live) 　　Nightwish: Century Child (2002) 　　 4专辑介绍： 　　2002年Nightwish在乐迷的高度期盼下发表了第四张录音室专辑，此时bass的位置已由前Sinergy的bass手Marco Hietala入替，Marco在专辑中也担任了几首曲目的高音男主唱，与Tarja有对唱表现。 　　此张专辑再次加重了劲道，风格上可说综合了前两张专辑，一方面回到的直爽狂飙，同时又保有细致饱满的编曲，吉他音色变得稍微粗重些，在"Slaying The Dreamer"一曲中甚至还加了一些thrash chord，堪称是Nightwish至今最heavy的一首曲子。除了唱诗班之外，此次终於也加入了交响乐团合奏，使乐曲的交响味更加浓烈，在重低音的部份也更为浑厚，而朗朗上口的优美旋律，让人从头到尾都忍不住随之唱和！芬兰乐团真不愧为「melody maker」啊！ 　　在演唱上，Tarja在这张专辑中，除了声乐腔之外，也有较多一般腔的表现，同时由於新加入的Marco也能演唱，因此再次如般添入了男腔表现。Marco的音质一如标准的speed高音，加入男音自然让乐曲多了些变化性，至於乐迷是否欣赏Marco的演唱可能就因人而异了。 　　而继成功地改编了美美的"Walking In The Air"之後，此次则选择改编了著名的歌剧曲目「歌剧魅影(The Phantom of The Opera)」成为金属乐版本，风味果然是非常的Nightwish，Tarja在曲中後段大秀了她惊人的高音。另外，Nightwish作品的曲长向来多在三、四分钟左右，简洁有力、不拖泥带水的编曲形式，对於速金乐迷来说或许正是恰到好处，不过对於我们这种前金乐迷来说，总有一种曲子正到高潮处就突然结束的小小未满足感，此次末尾精彩的10分多钟长篇之作"Beauty Of The Beast"，总算是满足了喜好长篇大作乐迷的渴望！ 　　专辑曲目： 　　01 - Bless The Child 　　02 - End Of All Hope 　　03 - Dead To The World 　　04 - Ever Dream 　　05 - Slaying The Dreamer 　　06 - Forever Yours 　　07 - Ocean Soul 　　08 - Feel For You 　　09 - The Phantom Of The Opera 　　10 - Beauty Of The Beast 　　11 - Lagoon 　　12 - The Wayfarer (Bonus Track) 　　Nightwish: Once (2004) 　　专辑介绍： 　　 让乐迷等待2年的「Once」，果然不负众望，激昂的芬兰气势灌入” Dark Chest Of Wonders”，标准Nightwish式进行，马上让人被气势磅礴的交响乐及流畅旋律的重金属包围，而”Wish I Had An Angel”瞬间引爆刚正激昂的古典氛围，戏份吃重的豪迈男主音以及女主唱Tarja收放自如的嗓音一起解放被禁断的爱欲，探索自我深处记忆透过几只指引性的琴键敲击，娓娓道出深藏在记忆最里处被遗忘的名字－”Nemo”，而如同半人半鸟海女妖邪艳蛊惑般的吉他solo则在”The Siren”里寻获这致命的音符!前卫金属式的长篇幅史诗作品，不论是叙述原住民哀怨地述说对大地、入侵者爱恨情仇的”Creek Mary"s Blood”，还是融合民族元素交响乐式的”Ghost Love Score”交织出淡淡哀仇，编曲及气氛的营造都皆属上乘，以芬兰语表现的” Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan”，为一曲优美的抒情小品，不禁又令人想起”Walking In The Air”的轻柔。Nightwish新专辑「Once」发行不久就攻下欧陆多国的排行榜，光是单曲“Nemo”就在祖国芬兰就已达到白金唱片的销售了，专辑则是摘下欧洲告示榜的榜首，而在德国、瑞士、芬兰销售皆超过20万张的惊人数目，Nightwish的魅力，可见一斑! 　　专辑曲目： 　　1. Dark Chest of Wonders 　　2. Wish I Had an Angel 　　3. Nemo 　　4. Planet Hell 　　5. Creek Mary"s Blood 　　6. Siren 　　7. Dead Gardens 　　8. Romanticide 　　9. Ghost Love Score 　　10. Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan 　　11. Higher Than Hope 　　12.White Night Fantasy (Bonus Track) 　　Dark Passion Play（2007） 　　专辑介绍: 　　《Dark Passion Play》是来自芬兰的歌特金属乐队 Nightwish 夜愿 的第六张专辑，同时也是新的主唱 Anette Olzon 加入后的第一张专辑，并且第一次在演唱者名单上少了 Tarja Turunen 的名字，因为她于2005年10月离开了 Nightwish 夜愿。Nuclear Blast 和 Roadrunner Records 预计2007年9月26日发行的本专辑推迟到了28日，此辑也是乐队三年来的第一张专辑，由此在乐队的历史上留下了一段较长的空白期。 　　据说制作《Dark Passion Play》总共花费了超过500,000欧元，这种制作成本是 Nightwish 夜愿 之前的专辑《Once》的两倍，也是芬兰历史上最昂贵的专辑。其中大部分花在了在Abbey大道的录音室里与伦敦Session管弦乐团的合作上，另外270,000欧元用于专辑MV的拍摄。 　　Promo版：发行于专辑正式版之前的版本，主要用于试听、预览和介绍正式专辑，为正式版专辑的上市做热身运动。 　　专辑曲目： 　　1. The Poet And The Pendulum 　　2. Bye Bye Beautiful 　　3. Amaranth 　　4. Cadence Of Her Last Breath 　　5. Master Passion Greed 　　6. Eva 　　7. Sahara 　　8. Whoever Brings The Night 　　9. For The Heart I Once Had 　　10. The Islander 　　11. Last Of The Wilds 　　12. 7 Days To The Wolves 　　13. Meadows Of Heaven 　　14.The Escapist (Bonus Track) 　　Single: Eramaan Viimeinen (in Finland only) (2007) 　　1. Eramaan Viimeinen (Finnish Version of "Last of The Wilds") 　　2. Eramaan Viimeinen (Instrumental) 　　 　　EP:Nightwish -《The Sound of Nightwish Reborn》(2008) 　　1. Eva (Pre-Anette Olzon Demo Version) 　　2. Reach (Pre-Anette Olzon Demo Version) 　　3. While Your Lips are Still Red (B-Side) 　　4. The Escapist (B-Side) 　　5. The Poet and the Pendulum (Pre-Anette Olzon Demo Version) 　　6. Bye Bye Beautiful (Dj Orkidea Remix) 　　7. Meadow of Heaven (Orchestral Version) 　　8. Amaranth (Orchestral Version) 　　9. The Escapist (Intrumental Version) 　　Made In Hong Kong <And In Various Other Places> (2009.3.13) 　　发行公司: Nuclear Blast Records 　　对于这个昔日的芬兰国宝级大牌，也许有人早已不屑一顾。但我始终无法忘却这个引领我步入哥特金属之门的老团，尽管他们早已不再哥特。这是一张录制于我国土地上现场，虽然不是北京那场，而是香港。我们无法同日本相比，掐指算算，有几个金属大牌乐队来过我国，又有几个能发行一张在我国的现场呢？恐怕Nightwish就是第一个了。 　　CD曲目: 　　1. Bye Bye Beautiful (Live) 　　2. Whoever Brings The Night (Live) 　　3. Amaranth (Live) 　　4. The Poet And The Pendulum (Live) 　　5. Sahara (Live) 　　6. The Islander (Live) 　　7. Last Of The Wilds (Live) 　　8. 7 Days To The Wolves (Live) 　　9. The Escapist (Album Version) 　　10. While Your Lips Are Still Red (Album Version) 　　11. Cadence Of Her Last Breath (B-Side, Performed by Marco) 　　推荐曲目:　　各人品位不同，详情请见 http://tieba.baidu.com/f?kz=274087075 　　著名的F1芬兰车手KIMI RAIKKONEN和科瓦莱宁也十分钟爱这支本国乐队。科瓦莱宁特别喜欢BYE BYE BEAUTIFUL. 　　Nightwish的官方网址链接 　　 http://www.nightwish.com 　　Nightwish夜愿中文网(欢迎夜愿迷光临访问) 　　www.nightwishcn.com 　　前主唱Tarja Turunen的官方网站 　　 http://www.tarjaturunen.com/ 　　百度Nightwish吧 　　 http://tieba.baidu.com/f?kw=Nightwish 　　百度Tarja吧 　　 http://tieba.baidu.com/f?kw=tarja 　　夜愿歌词目录（夜愿所有歌词的中文翻译） 　　http://tieba.baidu.com/f?kw=夜愿歌词

英语笑话（一）Q: What"s the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can"t have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。英语笑话（三）Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”英语笑话（四）my little dog can"t read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I"m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。英语笑话（六）The mean man"s party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年轻者” 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话， 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”英语笑话（八）Which woman? One evening I drove my husband"s car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield." My husband looked up and said, "Mom"s here?" 哪一位女人？ 一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。” 我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs "Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what"s wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I"ve just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I"m an artist---the doctor lives downstairs." 医生住在楼下 “医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。 “我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。” 他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”英语笑话（十）One Engine Left A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult." Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain"s voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late." At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete"s sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we"ll be up here all night!" 只剩一个引擎 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I"m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can"t jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I"m just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!6、Boy: Is this seat empty?男孩：这个座位是空的么？Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。7、My little dog can"t read我的狗不识字Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”8、My Wife Will Exchange Them反正我太太明天会来换的A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。″Makes no difference ″replied customer.“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。″Any″ he responded.“什么颜色都成。”他回答。″Size﹖″“号码呢？”″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”推荐于 2019-10-31TA的回答是否帮助到你了?能够帮助到你是知道答主们最快乐的事啦!

世界上最闲逸的雕刻室在希腊的爱琴海我在那里雕刻时光世界上最恬静的图书馆在阿尔卑斯的莱芒湖我在那里阅读心绪世界上最旖旎的舞台在圣多里尼的海蓝屋顶我在那里演绎回忆世界上最悠长的跑道在夏威夷的梦幻海岸我在那里驰骋灵感还有最后一句：不是所有的牛奶都叫特仑苏= =

最美的一首：《Mad World》 。。。深情歌词：All around me are familiar faces 周围都是一成不变的面孔　　Worn out places worn out faces 破旧的地方 疲惫的脸孔　　Bright and early for their daily races 早早起来开始日常的竞争　　Going nowhere going nowhere 无处可去 无处可逃　　And their tears are filling up their glasses 他们的泪水盈满了眼睛　　No expression no expression 面无表情 面无表情　　Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow 把头深埋 想把我的忧愁忘却　　No tomorrow no tomorrow 没有未来 没有未来　　And I find it kind of funny 感到有些可笑　　I find it kind of sad 感到有些悲伤　　The dreams in which I"m dying 那些我曾沉醉于其中的梦　　Are the best I"ve ever had 是我有过的最妙的　　I find it hard to tell you 我发现很难向你说明　　("cause) I find it hard to take 因为这很难接受　　When people run in circles 当人们的日子就这样循环往复　　It"s a very very 这真是一个非常非常　　Mad World 疯狂的世界　　Mad World 疯狂的世界　　Children waiting for the day they feel good 孩子们期待着美好的那天　　Happy Birthday Happy Birthday 快乐的生日 快乐的生日　　And i feel the way that every child should 孩子被教导的循规蹈矩　　Sit and listen sit and listen 坐下听讲，坐下听讲　　Went to school and I was very nervous 去上学弄得我很紧张　　No one knew me no one knew me 无人识我 无人懂我　　Hello teacher tell me what"s my lesson 老师你好，告诉我我要学什么　　Look right through me look right through me 视而不见 她对我视而不见　　And I find it kind of funny 感到有些可笑　　I find it kind of sad 感到有些悲伤　　The dreams in which I"m dying 那些我在其中濒死的梦　　Are the best I"ve ever had 是我有过的最妙的　　I find it hard to tell you 我发现很难向你说明　　("cause) I find it hard to take 因为这很难接受　　When people run in circles 当人们的日子就这样循环往复　　It"s a very very 这真是一个非常非常　　Mad World 疯狂的世界　　Mad World 疯狂的世界　　Enlarging your world 扩展你的世界　　Mad World 疯狂的世界还有《Whatya Want From Me》送上歌词：Hey, slow it down 嘿，慢些What do you want from me你想从我这儿得到什么What do you want from me你想从我这儿得到什么Yeah, I"m afraid 我有些害怕What do you want from me你想从我这儿得到什么What do you want from me你想从我这儿得到什么There might have been a time 可能会有一天I would give myself away 我会让自己放手Ooh once upon a time 从前I didn"t give a damn 我一点儿也不在乎But now here we are 但是现在我们这样So what do you want from me 所以你想从我这里得到什么What do you want from me 你想从我这里得到什么Just don"t give up 不要放弃I"m workin" it out 我正努力解决问题Please don"t give in 请不要放弃I won"t let you down 我不会让你失望It messed me up, 这让我的世界一团乱Need a second to breathe 我需要喘息片刻Just keep coming around 请一直在我身边Hey, what do you want from me 你想从我这里得到什么What do you want from me你想从我这里得到什么What do you want from me你想从我这里得到什么Yeah, it"s plain to see That baby you"re beautiful 宝贝，你一直是那样美丽（直接翻译的意思是看见你那么美丽是那样平常的事）And it"s nothing wrong with you 你没有什么错It"s me – I"m a freak 是我的问题，我是个古怪的人But thanks for lovin" me 但是谢谢你能爱我Cause you"re doing it perfectly 因为你是那样投入的爱我（句子本身是因为你那么完美的爱着我）Yeah there might have been a time可能会有一天When I would let you step away 我会让你离开I wouldn"t even try but I think 我甚至都不会尝试这样做，但是我认为You could save my life 你可以拯救我Just don"t give up 不要放弃I"m workin" it out 我正努力解决问题Please don"t give in 请不要放弃I won"t let you down 我不会让你失望It messed me up, 这让我的世界一团乱Need a second to breathe 我需要喘息片刻Just keep coming around 请一直在我身边Hey, what do you want from me 你想从我这里得到什么What do you want from me 你想从我这里得到什么What do you want from me 你想从我这里得到什么这是俺最喜欢的两个。。。。好听的还有好多好多。。。。Trespassing，For Your Entertainment，music again，If I Had You，fever，pick u up 好多啊

　　1。猩球崛起Rise of the Planet of the Apes（美国）　　上映日期：2011年10月 28日 中国　　2。幸福额度Love on Credit　　上映日期：2011年10月 28日 中国　　3。 密室之不可靠岸Mi Shi Zhi Bu Ke Kao An　　上映日期：2011年10月 27日 中国　　4。梦游3DSleepwalker in 3D　　上映日期：2011年10月 27日 中国　　5。丁丁历险记：独角兽号的秘密The Adventures of Tintin　　上映日期：2011年10月 26日 中国　　6。 绿灯侠Green Lantern　　上映日期：2011年10月 20日 中国　　7。与时尚同居Sleepless Fashion　　上映日期：2011年10月 18日 中国　　8。恋爱恐慌症Lian Ai Kong Huang Zheng　　上映日期：2011年10月 14日 中国　　9。堵车Love Never Dies　　上映日期：2011年10月 14日 中国　　10。昨夜无眠Last Night　　上映日期：2011年10月 14日 中国　　11。床下有人Who Under The Bed　　上映日期：2011年10月 14日 中国　　12。爱封了I Phone You　　上映日期：2011年10月 13日 中国　　13。竞雄女侠秋瑾The Woman Knight of Mirror Lake　　上映日期：2011年10月 13日 中国　　14。李献计历险记Lee"s Adventures　　上映日期：2011年10月 3日 中国　　15。疾速行动Derzkie Dni　　上映日期：2011年10月 1日 中国　　16。闯堂兔Brave Rabbit　　上映日期：2011年10月 1日 中国　　17。白鹿原White Deer Plain　　上映日期：2011年10月 中国　　18。 幻像Huan Xiang　　上映日期：2011年10月 中国　　19。机械师The Mechanic　　上映日期：2011年10月 中国　　列表上没有，但是网页新闻说有柯南剧场版 《沉默的15分钟〉在内　　http://comic.qq.com/a/20110909/000068.htm　　仅供参考。希望有所帮助。

英文幽默故事 Marriage Proposal to Bernard Shaw Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw． She said she did not mindBernard Shaw"s old age and ugliness because he was a genius． And if they could bine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious． “With your wisdom and my appearance，our children must be perfect．” Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination wassplendid，“But，what if the children take my appearance and yourwisdom？” 向肖伯纳求婚 英国有位美貌风流的女演员，曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说，因为他是个天才，她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的天才结合，那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。” 肖伯纳给她回了一封信说，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，假如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又该怎么办呢？” 英语幽默故事 Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。 Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what"s the biggest in the world? 老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？ Peter: Well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… Teacher: What？Eyelids？ 老师：什么？眼皮？ Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了 Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!" 疯人院 一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！" 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译） Q: Why won"t the elephant use the puter? 为什么大象不玩电脑？ A: He"s afraid of the mouse! 他害怕老鼠！ 鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。 mouse [mau028as]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人 2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor"s office and asked for help。 "Doctor, I don"t know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday." "Oh, don"t worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said. 一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。 “医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。” “哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。 3.A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院. 他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害." 医生说:"我怕他已经死了." 听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着." 妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" And God says: "A penny". Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" And God says: "a second", Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话. 他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?" 上帝回答:"一便士." 男子又问:"那一百万年呢?" 上帝说:"一秒钟." 最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?" 上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That"s too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I"d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” 关于英语的幽默故事 Three Surgeons 三个有名的外科医生 Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist." "That"s nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner." "I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse"s posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate." 三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。” “这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。” “我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马 *** ，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。” 一天3个人比赛射击。A，50步射中某人头上的苹果说：I am A。B，100步射中说：I am B。C，150步，开枪后说：I am sorry. 英语幽默故事带翻译 The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the st. He went on and came to a river. The river had bee very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man"s house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the st and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。 他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。” 他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。 不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。 The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were o mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do e and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should e and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must e and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is ing!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。” Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow". 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行". A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉"字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” 英语小故事 笑话 英语笑话（一） Q: What"s the difference beeen a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can"t have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

纷为大学生献出了自己的一片爱心.光良还进行了“爱心拍卖”将自己拍新专辑封面时穿的一件衣服作为拍品,以一元起拍,拍了出去.这时,光良唱起了大学生最喜欢听的一首《童话》.大家又再一次为大学生捐款,现场十

去这个论坛 ------听力课堂 有专门的栏目-------------故事！ 希望你满意，呵呵！

笑话第一篇（这篇若外国人看了一定会笑） Adam and Joseph were talking about their families. Adam said,"My grandfather was a very good conductor before he died" "Was he a musician?" joseph asked. "No,"said Adam,"he was struck by lightning." 亚当和约瑟正在谈及他们的家人。 亚当说：「我祖父在他死前是一个很好的conductor(conductor可作指挥，或导电体解） 约瑟问：「他是不是一个音乐家？」 亚当说：「不是，他是被雷电击中」 第二个笑话 The Bishop spoke to the congregation about the shortage of priests and nuns. "Too many of you are only having one child and letting them go off into other professions. I propose that each family should have three children: one for the father, one for mother and one for the church." A few days later, the bishop was out shopping when he saw a pregnant woman from his parish. But before he could say hello, she shouted above the crowd,"This one is yours, Bishop!" 有一个主教对他的会众说及，神父和修女的短缺。 他说：「你们当中太多人只生一个孩子，并让他们从事其他行业。我建议每个家庭应有三个孩子，一个为著爸爸，一个为著妈妈，一个为著教会。」 几天后，主教外出购物，并看到一个他教区的孕妇，在他向她问安之先，她当众大声地说：「主教，这个孩子是你的！」 ...................................................................... 1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very *** all. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, *When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah*. The teacher asked, *What if Jonah went to hell?* The little girl replied, *Then you ask him!* 2) A student es to a young professor*s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.*I would do anything to pass this exam, * she says.She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. *I mean,* she whispers, *I would do anything... *He returns her gaze, *Anything?**Anything.*His voice softens, *Anything?**Anything,* she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. *Would you ... study?* 　　你可以读的慢一点 　　Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn"t see the bird, ma" am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma"am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I"ve Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City"s Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the *** ooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her posure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？” 英语笑话（一） Q: What"s the difference beeen a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can"t have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can"t read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I"m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man"s party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not ing empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf 在一个乡村路上，一警察让这个农民靠边停车，说：“先生，你意识到你的妻子在几公里前从车上掉下去了吗？”农民回答说：“感谢上帝，我还以为我聋了呢！” Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I"m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he es up against someone much bigger than he is, who"s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I"m teaching him how to run, too." 拳击和赛跑 丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。” 朋友： “如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？” 丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。” Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I"d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,"发生了什么事？“ ”一个男孩咬了我一口，“伊凡说。 ”再见到他时你能认出来吗?"妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里呢。” Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand? Matthew: Very Cold, sir. Teacher: Wrong. Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen! 老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？ 马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。 老师：错了。 马修：可是，先生！从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。 1.When Was Rome Built? 罗马是什么时候建成的？ Teacher: When was Rome built? Tom: At night. Teacher: Who told you that? Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn"t built in a day. 老师：罗马是什么时候建成的？ 汤姆：在夜里建成的。 老师：谁告诉你的？ 汤姆：是您啊。您说过罗马不是在一个白天建成的。 2.He Knows the Answer 他知道答案 Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century? Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead. 教师：你能告诉我一些有关十八世纪的伟大科学家的事情吗？ 学生：我能，先生。他们都死了。 3.Where do babies e from? 小孩从哪里来？ I asked my father where babies e from. He says you download them from the Inter. 我问爸爸小孩是从哪里来的，他说是从网上下载的。 4.An Essential Correction 实质性的纠正 Teacher: Walter, why don"t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning. Walter: What was it? Teacher: Eggs. Walter: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday. 老 师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。 沃尔特：我吃了什么？ 老 师：鸡蛋。 沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。 5. I Don"t Feel Like Getting into an Argument 我不想争论 “Gerald,” asked the teacher, “what is the shape of the earth?” “It"s round,” answered Gerald. “How do you know it"s round?” continued the teacher. “All right, it"s square then,” he replied, “ I really don"t feel like getting into an argument about it!” “杰拉尔德，”老师说，“地球是什么形状的？” “是圆形的，”杰拉尔德回答。 “你怎么知道是圆的？”老师继续问。 “好，那就是方的吧，”他回答说。“我真的不想和您争论这件事！” 6.Three Reasons 三个理由 Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round. Bob: Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so! 老师：鲍勃，说出三条理由来证实地球是圆的。 鲍勃：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，您也是这么说的！ 7.Who Should be Given the Present? 礼物该给谁？ A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!” 一个有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集来问这件礼物应该给谁。“谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么？”他问道。 大家都不吭声。过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩儿吧。” 8.Big Head 大脑袋 “All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. “They say I have a big head.” “Don"t listen to them,” his mother consoled. “You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.” “Where"s the shopping bag?” “I haven"t got one, use your hat.” “所有的孩子都拿我取乐，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说。“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了, 去到店里买10磅土豆来。” “兜子在哪儿呢？” “我没有兜子——就用你的帽子吧。” 　　有一个外国人来到中国。一天，他路过K F C（肯德基），看见里面的客人在吃像血一样的东西，他就问：“那是什么？”服务员说：“那是番茄酱。”外国人想：原来中国人的血叫做 番茄酱。 他又路过一家鸡腿店，看见里面的客人在吃像腿一样的东西，他问：“那是什么？”服务员说：“那是鸡腿。”外国人想：原来中国人的腿叫 鸡腿。 他又路过一家文具店，看见里面有一个大得像汽车一样的橡皮擦，他问：“那是什么？”老板说：“那是橡皮擦。”外国人想：原来中国人的汽车叫 橡皮擦。 他又路过一家酒店，看见一个男的正和一个女的吵架。男的说：“ *** ！”女的说：“你娘的！”外国人想：原来中国人男的叫 你娘的；女的叫 *** 。 后来，他看见了一场车祸。一个男的车撞到了一个女的车，那个被撞的女的脚上海流血了。他就这样打电话给警察： “在xx街的路口上，一个 你娘的汽车撞了一个 *** 。那个被撞的 *** 鸡腿上流了好多番茄酱......”