Don"t Be Judgemental

adj.1. 挑剔的；苛刻的2. 判断的There"ll be something aboutyou that rather severe, evenjudgemental, and as a resultthepeoplearoundyoumightfeela bitscared.有些事情的处理，让你看起来很严苛，甚至是带有审判性，所以你周围的人可能会感到有点害怕。

rightsenseofjudgement说实话，你这话中门文就说不通，我觉得你想说的应该是正确的判断，判断力如何辨正确与否

　　我相信我们可以应对未来的挑战，不辜负我们共同的价值观。下面就由我为大家带来关于应对的英语短语集锦，希望大家能有所收获。 　　关于应对的相关短语 　　应对 be answerable for 　　应对策略 coping strategy ; 　　应对措施 Response measures 　　应对压力 Deal with the pressure ; 　　应对效能 coping efficacy ; 　　应对办法answering methods 　　应对能力 coping capacity ; 　　应对技能 coping skills ; 　　应对体系 responsive system 　　积极应对 active coping 　　关于应对的相关单词 　　reply; 　　answer 　　关于应对的相关例句 　　1. He promised to appoint an AIDS czar to deal with the disease. 　　他许诺任命一位艾滋病大使来应对这种疾病。 　　2. Councils should be answerable to the people who elect them. 　　市政会成员应对推选他们的人负责。 　　3. We needed to reskill our workforce to cope with massive technological change. 　　我们得让工人学习新技能，以应对巨大的技术变革。 　　4. He is tussling with the problem of what to do about inflation. 　　他正全力应对如何解决通货膨胀的问题。 　　5. The country needs a defence capability as insurance against the unexpected. 　　国家需要有一定的防御能力，以应对不可预知的情况。 　　6. They demanded a more expansionary economy to combat rising unemployment. 　　他们要求发展扩张性的经济以应对升高的失业率。 　　7. The government is proclaiming a carrot-and-stick approach to the problem. 　　对于这个问题，政府宣布要采取软硬两手应对。 　　8. He found he could no longer cope with his demanding job. 　　他发现自己已无力应对那份劳神费力的工作了。 　　9. I had been running around southern England in a whirlwind of activity. 　　我一直奔忙于英格兰南部地区，疲于应对一连串的活动。 　　10. He appeared to be treating the potentially explosive situation with some sensitivity. 　　他似乎正小心地应对可能一触即发的局势。 　　11. The form the human family takes is a response to environmental pressures. 　　人类的家庭形式是为了应对来自生存环境的压力。 　　12. You should not be judgemental about people and their differing sexualities. 　　你不应对别人以及他们不同的性取向品头论足。 　　13. What do you expect? This is the Establishment we"re taking on. 　　你还期望什么?我们要应对的是“权威”。 　　14. Security is being stepped up to deal with the increase in violence. 　　正在加强安保工作以应对日益增多的暴力活动。 　　15. So far, his premiership has been dominated by crisis-management. 　　到目前为止，他在其首相任期内主要是在应对危机。 　　关于应对的双语例句 　　回应对双向无线电通信信号的反应 　　A response to a transmission made over a two-way radio. 　　凡是飞机驾驶员均应对乘客的安全负责。 　　All pilots are responsible for their passengers" safety. 　　那我们是如何应对的呢? 　　So how did we actually do this? 　　灾难应对也作为拥有更强的海军的理由而被常常引用。 　　Disaster relief is also commonly cited as a reason to have a bigger navy. 　　如何去应对逆境也是一种需要学习的经历。 　　How we cope with adversity is also a learning experience. 　　于是每次救市是临时应对，伴随恐慌一片。 　　So each bailout has been ad hoc and panicky. 　　那件事反映出这个团队缺乏应对紧急事件的培训。 　　The incident shows a lack of emergency response training of the team. 　　他说，关键问题是如何应对任何一个宗教派别的极端人物。 　　He said the key issue was how to address radical figures from any religion. 　　人体应对紧张环境时会释放出雄激素。 　　The body releases this hormone to deal with stressful situations. 　　以上是我整理所得，欢迎大家阅读和收藏。

应该是这样2句话。1.Don"t be judgmental! 不要轻易下 “结论!”2.No blame no shame! 没什么好责怪的, 也没什么好羞耻的!

judgemental sampling判断抽样.很高兴为你解答！如有不懂，请追问。 谢谢！

第一次听说正念，是从一个很好的朋友那了解的，不知道为什么就开始喜欢了。我对正念的理解就是现实的自己和内心的自己在对话，而且现实的自己在慢慢的去了解内心的自己。最近看了薛建新老师的文章，我觉得最能体现对正念的解释。 过去一二十年中，正念(Mindfulness)成为西方心理学界最热门的词汇之一。最近几年，国内也有越来越多的人开始接触和了解正念了。但正念具体是什么含义，可能很多朋友不一定很清楚，也容易有一些误解，比如把正念解读为“正确的观念”或“正能量”。前一阵翻阅一本关于情商的书，作者是一位国内的情商培训工作者，就把正念解释为“正确的思维方式”，犯了望文生义的错误。心理学家给正念的定义是一种与注意力和觉察相关的心理特质。虽然正念源于古老的佛教禅修(meditation)，但在当前的入世应用中常常是不涉及宗教背景的。美国麻省大学医学院的卡巴金教授是把正念引入西方主流社会的开创者，他自1979年起在医院开设正念减压(MBSR)门诊，把正念介绍给需要应对压力挑战的病患和普通大众，就是这个领域的典型代表。以MBSR为原型，临床心理学家和身心健康领域的专家发展出多种基于正念的方法，来辅助治疗一些身心疾病，增进身心健康，提升健康人的生活效能。正念的元素其实蕴涵在很多宗教和身心修炼体系中，但这一波正念热潮的特点是大量与实证研究（包括医学，心理学，神经科学等等）结合，采取可验证的方式积累成果，从而获得主流社会认可。过去十多年来，学术界对正念的实证研究呈现爆发式增长，也有很多有力证据证明基于正念的疗法对身体和心理的多方面积极影响是确实有效的。 卡巴金博士把其开创的MBSR(正念减压，八周集体课程）视为一种教育和身心健康课程，而非心理治疗。心理治疗领域对MBSR的引用很多而心理学家又发展出一些基于正念的疗法，最具代表性的方法有：MBCT(正念认知疗法，帮助反复发作的抑郁症患者预防复发，也可以用于健康人群提升心理健康水平，由Mark Williams 等三位认知治疗学派的学者开创，借鉴了MBSR的很多要素，课程设置和MBSR相当接近），ACT(接纳和承诺疗法，由Hayes开创，核心是由六个要素构成的关于“心理灵活度”的框架，包括正念和价值承诺两大部分，不要求专门的静坐），DBT(整合了正念技术，针对边缘人格障碍治疗）。 此外，正念与具体工作领域相结合，产生了大量应用型发展，如Mindful Eating（正念进食），Mindful Birthing(正念育婴与分娩）,Mindful Parenting(正念养育）, MBCTCa(针对癌症病人的正念认知疗法），Mindful Teaching and Learning（正念教学），Mindful Leadership(正念领导力）......等等。了解了正念发展的大致状况，那么正念到底是什么呢？卡巴金教授给正念的定义是：Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. 正念是一种有意地、不加评判地、对当下的注意。这个定义在正念领域中被广泛引用。 Bishop, Lau 等研究者给出了类似的定义。他们认为正念包括两个要素：第一个要素是对当下的、此时此刻的体验的觉知；第二个要素是对体验采取一种好奇的、开放的、接纳的态度。 我想或许可以这样来看，正念的这两个要素就是觉察和“慈悲”。觉察是对当下的身心体验的觉知；“慈悲”在这里更多是一种隐含的态度，一种“内在的慈悲”，对待身心经验的态度——开放与接纳，放弃追求有别于当下的体验的企图。这二者同时具备，才是正念。接纳的态度才是关键，不过对现代人而言，仅仅觉察就已经不容易了。 对这些态度，卡巴金教授在其第一本专著《多灾多难的人生》中有非常传神的描述，在这里解读几笔： 不评判（Non-Judgemental): 保持纯然的觉察，而不对种种身心经验，如感受、想法、身体感觉等做好或坏的评判和取舍； 耐心(Patience)：对身心的种种状态和外在环境保持平常心，与之和平共处； 初心(Beginner"sMind): 怀抱赤子之心，面对每一个当下的情境，好奇、开放，不用陈旧的习惯来做出自动化反应； 信任(Trust)：相信自然和生命的智慧，对练习保持信心和兴趣，相信时机成熟，相应的结果自然出现，而种种结果都是好的安排； 无为(Non-Doing)：不强求想要的结果，或某种特定的经验，放下努力和希求，只是处于当下，觉察此刻的种种状况； 接纳(Acceptance)：如实观照并面对此刻的情境与身心状态，不加以排斥与抓取； 放下(Letting go)：对已经过去的经验与情境，不执着和贪恋，安住在此刻的生命经验中。 对觉察与慈悲的体会，为发展智慧奠定了基础，这种智慧是对真相的理解和洞察，帮助我们体认到身心经验的变幻无常，以及世间万物的彼此关联和互相依赖。智慧帮我们心平气和的活在当下，这又会反过来加强我们的慈悲与觉察。最后，我们所培育的种种心的特质成为一个有机的整体，导向健康与自由的生命境界。 不少朋友开始学习正念时，会经历一个体会其技术和概念的阶段。但入门之后，很多人会体认到，正念其实超越了某种心理学技术的范畴，也远远不止是一种减压的手段，正念更是一种生活方式，是一种活在当下的艺术。正念让我们与自己的生命重新相遇，发现其中蕴含的可能性和美善。

不是很知道你想写的是哪种文体，就写成diary而言，就无异于把今天见到看到的东西都写下来，但是与学校教条的作文不同，你可以更多的添加进自己的感想，毕竟作文是很私密的东西，你可以用来吐槽生活中的很多东西，但是不是无脑地喷一个人，try to be cirtical and "judgemental" 用英文写作的时候 最好不要一边想着中文一边再翻译成英文 这样会缺乏英语语言的原始特性 try to think the way native speaker does 遇到写不出的不会翻译的词句的时候 可以借助翻译工具或者是词典 但是个人觉得要对比多个翻译答案 毕竟现在的智能翻译说白了还是很弱智...还有不要过度追求语言的华丽 一直用大词或者是高端的结构个人觉得就是在花样作死 即使是SAT的作文（暂且不论TOEFL这种不实惠的作文要求） 它更加注重的是逻辑以及个人思维的体现 so 在写作文的时候 don"t forget to be yourself.【纯手打 希望能帮助到你】

人:fair,honest,elegant, well-dressed, smart, casual, untidy, scruffy, lanky, pale, muscular, stocky, plump, shapely, thin, skinny, slim, easy-going, kind-hearted, approachable, generous, humble, droopy, optimistic,时间:time-consuming, time-saving, streamy, momentary, passing, 建筑物:tall, modern, inviting, creative, practical, 环境:pleasant, mountainous, arid, moist, quiet, 动作:coherent, fanny, furtive, 一个比一个写的少...汗

在夜深人静的时候，看完了电影《搜索》几度落泪，影片讲述的是一位在大企业当董事长秘书的女孩叶蓝秋，被诊断出淋巴癌晚期，在公交车上的她，面对生命的打击心情低落。没有给老人让座，正好被实习记者杨佳琪拍下来，带回电视台。由此引发了后文一系列故事。主人公从小上进，父亲去世，母亲改嫁，她所有的一切都是靠自己努力得来的，就因为自己癌症晚期没有给老人让座，就成为舆论抨击的对象，一个在死亡线上垂死挣扎的人已经不在乎外界的说法了，但是那些道德绑架无疑给女主带来巨大的心灵创伤。 反观社会现象，人们越来越远离最真实的现状，只是任凭自己无中生有的想象肆意飞杨在每一个毫无遮拦的公共场合，当莫小渝误以为趴在老板肩膀上哭泣的叶蓝秋是小三、当唐小华为了自己能够当上第一秘书在合作对象面前故意播放媒体报道的叶蓝秋不让座事件、当叶蓝秋的道歉视频拍下来陈若兮考虑到媒体利益而不去报导时、当每一个人都站在旁观者的角度随意指责叶蓝秋、当最后叶蓝秋留下剩下的一百万捐给需要帮助的人，然后以跳楼自杀结束了自己的生命。 那些喷子们，键盘侠、杀人凶手们你们的道德绑架，你们的眼见为实、你们的自以为的正义、以及总是喋喋不休讨论别人的生活，而不去理解的人。即便遗憾、后悔……也弥补不了那个被谋杀的人的心伤。 所以，大多数时候人们都喜欢自以为局中人的去评论别人的为人处世，爱恨情仇是非对错。殊不知no  judgemental，才是最好的道德底线。

你不知深浅。

前言 在此次D88 toastmaster西安峰会上，我有幸聆听了高琳博士关于《教练和教练式的领导》的分享，让我对以往作为一名academic coach的工作有了一些新的反思和启发。 2009年，我曾是一名校区的英文老师，2000-2001年开始在校区从事一些学术管理的工作，再到2011-2014年这三年，在总部合作中心管理部进行学术督导（academic coaching）的工作。从最初第一年的新鲜劲，到第二年的游刃有余和带新人，再到第三年的倦怠期和瓶颈期，如果当时有人给我讲讲什么是真正的教练之道，也许我这份coaching的工作可以做的更好和更久。 Q: 什么是教练（coaching）？ 教练不是光给建议的，而是善于倾听和提问； 教练不要光看往经历，而是以未来行动作为导向； 教练不是训话的，而是与被教练者进行合作对话； 教练不是救世主，而是相信被教练者有能力改变。 反思 在以往的督导工作中，自己往往会认为校区有太多的问题需要解决和改进了，在倾听时，明显缺乏耐心；即使听了，也认为校区的主观因素太多，真正改进的决心不够大，所以每次去校区拜访时，总会遇到同样或类似的问题，因此自己经常也会叹息：又是老生常谈的问题！久而久之，自己的成就感越来越低，工作也就变得越来越没意思了。 虽然自己在给校区建议的时候，也会尝试用提问的方式，去启发校区学术管理者的思考，但明显不够到位，且有时会训斥一些做得不好的学术管理者，明显没有做到合作型对话，往往在我离开之后，学术管理者又恢复原样； 此外，自己对于曾经做得不好的管理者，往往会带“有色眼镜”看待他们，用他们以往的经历，认定他们即使有改善，也很难真正改变。 Q: 那什么是教练式领导呢？ 说的直白一点，就是不要用表面的行为来判断一个人，而应该了解他行为背后的动机，特性和价值观等，来对其进行引导，帮助他成长和进步。大家也可以参考一下弗洛伊德著名的冰山理论。反思 其实以前经常会用马斯洛需求层次理论来帮助学术管理者分析自己，但不够深入，只是停留在表面对于这个理论的介绍而已。不过，个人感觉这两个理论多少还是有些关联的。 Q：那么应该如何进行教练式的领导呢？ 高琳博士给出了四个步骤： 1，建立亲和 建立亲和最大的关键点就是 放下“偏见（judgemental）” ！从小到大，我们一直都是在被批判的声音中长大的，所以不知不觉中，我们也爱上了批判别人，这是建立亲和的大忌。 2，倾听提问 大多数人应该都知道一般提问的方式无非是5W1H，即：who（谁），where（哪里），what（什么）, why（为什么）和how（怎么），而最常用的也是最后三个，what，why和how。 而这些问题中， 最需要引起我们关注的就是who（我们是谁，想成为什么样的人？）和why（为什么？）。 大家可以参考下图，进行层次型的提问： 3，探索目标 可以根据SMART原则设定目标： 4，行动计划 找到目标后，就要有具体的计划（action plan）了，否则就是纸上谈兵。而且要时不时对照着目标来看自己的计划是否与之匹配，另外注意一点是，此时最容易犯的就是拖延症（procastination）了！ 因为当我们有了明确计划后，我们也知道这些事情很重要，却往往拖着不付诸行动，事后又异常内疚。​反思 以前在做督导时，也知道先要跟校区建立好亲和，方便开展接下来的工作。指导工作时，更多是从what，why和how三点进行展开，并没有涉及到太多的who；设定目标时也知道SMART原则，但是在后续追踪校区的action plan的时候不是特别严格，往往很多工作执行不下去，自然有时效果就不会太好了。 而且我是一个不爱做计划的人，比较随性，喜欢在脑子里大致想想需要做的事情，然后根据自己的心情进行发挥。有时心情好，可以顿时效率大增，把好几项重要的事情统统提前完成；但是心情不好时，这拖延的毛病厉害着呢！ 比如，拿用秀米排版举例，我迟迟不愿意用，嫌麻烦呢。这不，今天终于尝试了一把，倒腾明白了，觉得比我之前的排版好看太多了：） 以上是我的些许反思 供君参考 欢迎留言 谢谢！

正在进行时用be doing

下列哪种价值观，种族，宗教/信仰，文化/种族，性别，性取向，民族，社会阶层，你在主观及客观上是最认同的？按重要性排列顺序，1-3是最重要的，4-7是不那么重要的。这些价值观大部分是你被影响的，还是你自己的价值观？如果是被影响的，是在什么情况下或者是被谁影响的呢？我们是否将他人的行为是否足够典型作为价值判断的标准？

必应词典为您提供non-judgemental-ethnorelativism的释义,网络释义: 非评判性的族群相对主义;非判断性的民族相对性;请采纳如果你认可我的回答，敬请及时采纳，~如果你认可我的回答，请及时点击【采纳为满意回答】按钮~~手机提问的朋友在客户端右上角评价点【满意】即可。~你的采纳是我前进的动力~~O(∩_∩)O，记得好评和采纳，互相帮助

成语是中国传统文化的一大特色，有固定的`结构形式和固定的说法，表示一定的意义，下面是我整理的品头论足四字成语，欢迎阅览。 【成语释义】见“品头题足”。 【成语出处】郭澄清《大刀记》开篇十二：“他们指手划脚，品头论足。” 【感情色彩】中性 【成语结构】联合式成语 【成语用法】作谓语、宾语；指乱发议论 【产生年代】近代成语 【近义词】评头论足 成语例句 我们都应当投身到四化建设中大干一场，不应当站在一边品头论足，徘徊观望。 相关成语 风起云涌 以弱胜强 苦尽甘来 冰肌玉骨 狂风暴雨 招降纳叛 不知不觉 人寿年丰 高谈阔论 英语释义 find fault with； be overcritical 网络英语释义 1. pintoulunzu.com 2. Appearance 3. take stock 4. commenting 双语例句 1. You should not be judgemental about people and their differing sexualities. 你不应对别人以及他们不同的性取向品头论足。 来自《柯林斯例句》 2. People will judge you whatever you do. 不论你做什么，人们都会品头论足。 来自《辞典例句》 3. I cannot allow any man to - to criticize my private conduct! 我不能允许任何人对我个人的行为品头论足! 来自《辞典例句》 4. He gave her an appraising glance. 他品头论足似地看了她一眼. 来自《辞典例句》

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最近和朋友闲聊，聊起英语学习的老问题，发觉我们的阅读听力提升都很快，只是唯独口语迟迟提高不上去。分析其原因，一不愿意开口与外国人瞎掰，二口语积累太少。害羞的性格使得我不愿意开口与外国人说话，怕说错于是更不敢说。回想自己与外国人的交谈，几乎没有时间在脑子里中文翻译为英文，总是张口就说。有时常会惊讶于自己脱口而出的英文单词，大量的美剧“泛读”积累使得我能够不知不觉的掌握一些单词或表达。但是这样“泛读”美剧还是远远不够的，于是我打算开始“精读”美剧，挑来选去，最适合学习日常生活表达的剧是摩登家庭（modern family）。 我的学习方法是，打开摩登家庭其中一集，找一张长纸条遮住下方中文和英文的字幕，先盲听，再着重听自己听不懂的句子。大概两三分钟停一次，再对照着台词，看剧中的表达。最后一步，将这些表达积累并整理出来。 以下是我对第一季第一集的整理，几乎都是简单的句子，没有什么太难的表达，却句句都很地道。学习完一个表达之后，可以尝试着自己去扩展它，重新造句。我会努力更新，也希望小伙伴们可以和我一起坚持下去哦。 1. just a sec, give me a second, hang on for a second  等一下 2. get down here 下来     扩展：get up here 上来 3. that"s not gonna happen.     it"s not gonna work.  4. you"re not wearing that outfit 你不能穿这件衣服     that"s my thing 这是我的风格     扩展：you"re not wearing that dress, that"s not your thing.  5. just text me.     扩展：just email me, just call me. 6. what"s wrong with it?  怎么了 7. stuck in （trouble）陷入某种困境 8. I got it 我知道了，我来做某事     扩展：I will get it. 我会去做的 9. bedside tab 床头柜 10. take it down a notch= take it down a little bit =slow down a bit 慢一点，某人应该火气小一点 11. you can do it! 12. coach 教练 13. take sb out to 带某人出去       扩展：take sb out to have a dinner.                   take out on sb 对某人发脾气                   take it outside  14. she"s adorable . 形容小孩子很可爱 15. thrilled 极为激动，兴奋的 16. snacks 小吃 17. what are you guys talking about? 18. They have been together for...他们已经在一起了多久 19. cream puff 奶油泡芙，懦夫，娘娘腔 20. initially 最初 21. then I figured 然后我想 22. fawn on/over sb= try to please sb 奉承某人，取悦某人 23. I am gonna give a speech. 我要做个演讲，我要好好教训一下某人 24. orphanage 孤儿院 25. love knows no race, creed or gender 爱不分种族，信仰性别 26. shame on you 你太无耻 27. headsets 头戴式耳机 28. I am having a friend over today.  我有个朋友今天过来 29. I am bound to be a little surprised. 我免不了（一定会）有些惊讶       扩展：you"re bound to be successful.  30. surf the web 浏览网页 31. high school musical  电影<歌舞青春> 32. I guess that works for me. (与别人预约见面时间时常用的句子) 33. it"s on the calendar. 这事儿板上钉钉了 34. I am quitting soccer. 我不踢足球了 35. blowup 发怒 36. you"re with me on this, right? 你和我站在一边的，对吧 37. put on a shirt. 38. declare your love 表达你的爱 39. swing from the flagpole 在旗杆上摇晃 40. you hurt my feelings. 你伤害到我的感情了 41. toughen up: become tougher, grow stronger       need/want to toughen up. 42. passionate  多情的 43. what the hell is that （supposed to mean）?  喵喵喵？ 44. I"ve gain a few pounds recently. 我最近长胖了几斤 45. float above 漂浮在...上 46. that"s reassuring  令人心安的 47. tear away 强迫离开       过去式 tore away       扩展：I tore myself away 我强迫自己离开                  tore his/her away  强迫他离开 48. I don"t blame you 我不怪你 49. you tell them, they say something judgemental. 你告诉他们，他们就会说三道四 50. it"s supposed to be nothing but joyful. 原本应该是一件开心的事 51. suddenly turns into huge fight  突然转变成剧烈的争吵 52. I am so relieved you understand.  你能理解让我松了口气 53. I invited them over for dinner.         扩展：I invited my friends over for playing basketball.  54. you"re an avoider. This would have gone on forever. 你是个逃避者，这样下去会没完没了。 55. I am a senior.  我高三/大四。 56. 嘻哈全套用语        what"s up        keep it real         homie  57. shall I call a doctor?        扩展：what shall I do? 我应该怎么做呢  58. I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation. 我可以打败你如果是身体对抗的话       扩展：you could defeat him if it came to a basketball game.  59. just flip me right back 把我翻转过来 扩展：flip a coin 翻转硬币             flip an egg over the pan. 翻鸡蛋 60. I put my thoughts into words. 我把我的想法写成文字 61. you"re in such a bad（good） mood. 你心情很(不)好 62. stop being a gloomy goose. 不要做一个悲观的人 63. make a fool of myself/ himself .  让我自己/他自己出丑 64. hair gel 发胶 65. you"ll know better next time.  66. leave me alone. 让我一个人待会儿 67. respect their privacy 尊重他们的隐私 68. make trouble for me 找我的麻烦 69. can you shut the door, please? 可以关上门吗？ 70. she is completely（totally） freaked out. 她吓坏了 71. we didn"t go to Vietnam for pleasure. 我们不是去越南旅游的 72. longing for sth. 渴望某事       扩展：longing to be free.  73. you"re little uptight. 你有些紧张 74. you two broke up. 你们分手了 75. you"ll be better off. 你会更好的 76. he is a bit of drama queen 他有些小题大作 77. turn it off. 关掉（音乐，电视） 78. can you do me a favour？ 你能帮我个忙吗？

职业选择北京：文化、艺术、教育、科研、IT、金融(管理)、创业、体制内、总部经济、等等。上海：贸易、物流、金融(执行)、零售、外资买办 (这个词是中性的)、总部经济、等等。做事风格北京：面儿上很好但事儿不一定能办了。处处都是潜规则，你需要长期体会。上海：面儿上可能一般但事儿能办很妥。处处都是规则，新来的很容易学会。包容性北京：目前全中国最具包容性的城市，没有之一。上海：对符合特定文化特征的人群，包容性不错。总体的包容性全国能排前五。(围绕一些评论的补充：没有提深圳，是因为深圳谈不上“包容”，因为“包容”是有关“本地人”对“外地人”的，是有关“本地文化”对“外地文化”的。深圳我很喜欢，但深圳的特殊性，使其谈不上“本地/外地”。大家都是本地人，大家也都是外地人。等深圳建城过百年了，“深圳人”相对固化了，那时再衡量不迟。)多元性北京：目前中国在“国内多元化”尺度上最丰富的城市，同时“国际多元化”也还好。上海：目前中国在“国际多元化”尺度上最丰富的城市，同时“国内多元化”也还好。环境/气候/空气质量北京：接近零分上海：很难及格美食若上海说自己排全国第二，北京绝对不敢说自己是第一。房价北京：@#￥%%……@#%@#￥上海：%……&%#￥%@！#$%总结：北京：一个建立在 前现代化协作体系 下的 后现代化城市。 上海：一个建立在 现代化协作体系 下的 现代化城市。北京：非典型现代化大都会。魅力点在于“反差”、“混搭”、“融合”、“荒诞”、“倾泻”、“吞噬”...一言难尽。打个听上去不能更荒诞的比方，北京的空气若少了那“嚼劲”，或许反而魅力值会下降，哪怕我是如此地热爱蓝天。上海：典型的现代化大都会，自然很有魅力。北京：中国这片土地上野蛮生长出来的，长得乱糟糟，但浓浓的本土味。上海：按照现成的模板学习来的，学得很不错，但缺乏原创性和民族性。北京：seemingly chaotic heterogeneity that grows and derives from within上海：seemingly elegant homogeneity that copies and learns from without目前中国最棒的两个城市。而生活中认识的相当多真心有趣的姑娘小伙儿，对这两城的态度几乎都是“皆大爱”。我的感觉也是如此。若我现在立刻回国，虽然我家在北京，但我应该会首选定居上海生活工作，图的就是规范公平舒适省心。但非说情感，上海可以说是“很喜欢”，但北京确实是“爱”。说到底，北京是中国，上海只是上海。而真的走遍了世界，才知道世界上还有很多上海，但北京真心就只有那一个。

变色龙Once kids find out you"ve got a disability they will play on it forever, although they didn"t understand what was wrong, I"d lost my peripheral vision at school and they knew they could get up close to me, whack me in the side of a head with a book, and I"d never be able to spot who"d done it. So you develop other skills like very sensitive hearing and things like that as a counter measure. School wasn"t particularly pleasant, but you learn how to deal with it.老鼠Some people think because you have a disability maybe you should be with someone with a disability. And it doesn"t work like that. You can"t help who you fall in love with.兔子They think that if you"re disabled, you can"t have a love life. That"s not true, though. I can have sex.虾子Some people go, "oh, look at that chair" and be all nice about it. But then I get these other people that go "argh, look at that chair!"猫If I did mention to someone that I was hard of hearing, they would start mouthing and talking to me like I was stupid, "a li-ttle-bit-like-this", you know, "a-re y-ou o-k?"虾子They need to be taught a lesson... a very big one.猫头鹰It took me a little while to build up the courage to get back into the jist of going into education because you"re interacting again isn"t it you"re back out there with the public. People look at you like, "oh, he"s in a wheelchair and he"s in Uni, good on ya mate" you know what I mean.变色龙They can be quite judgemental about your disability. I mean the number of people who"ve told me "you can"t do that", really annoys me, especially as I can do better than they can sometimes.顺着他们说话的次序排的

改善人际关系先了解这些问题 改善人际关系的7个原则你是否曾和哪位同事关系紧张？如果答案是No，你恰好是那种讨人喜欢、大家公认的好同事，也至少会有想和谁关系更亲密的想法吧？好了，现在你就要想着那位与之关系紧张或者希望更亲密的同事，然后回答下面的问题：你是根据同事今天的表现来看待他，还是根据上个星期、上个月、甚至是去年的表现来看待他呢？和他聊天谈话时，你是以改变他的想法为目的，还是同样会改变自己的想法？当你在收件箱中看到他的名字时，是否在打开邮件之前，就有了对他先入为主的看法？这些都是执行正念（Executive mindfulness）的核心问题。虽然我们已通过相关研究了解到正念的好处，但是我们从来都没有正视这样一个问题，那就是：如何在工作中保持正念呢？毕竟我们不能在办公桌前冥想或者做瑜伽。理解正念、明白正念的切实作用，对于改善工作关系至关重要。我们和同事正是在流逝的工作关系中，渐渐成长，慢慢改变。不用专业术语来解释的话，所谓正念，是指不掺杂任何评判地专注于当下。一般情况下，可以将其分为两种形式：一种是“寻求新奇”（Novelty seeking），在当下的环境中寻求新的、与众不同的东西；另一种是“聚焦”（Focus），将注意力全部集中在当下这一刻。与正念相反的是“习惯性”（Habituation）。习惯性是指按照习以为常的方式来进行思考和行动，就像自动驾驶一样。总体而言，正念意味着非习惯（Non-habitual）和非评判（Non-judgemental）。注意力提升了，意识就会提高，自然会引导我们做出更好的判断和决定，以及激发出更好的行为。谁会不希望拥有更好的判断、决定和行为呢？现在就来尝试一下——在熟悉的办公室中“寻找新大陆”。让自己停下来，认真地品尝手中的咖啡，感觉身体在椅子上的重量，观察一个你之前不曾留意的事物。如果要是去开会的话，不妨选择一条与以往不同的线路走到会议室。开会时，试着让自己沉默十分钟（除非老板让你回答问题）。改善人际关系的7个原则1、认清人生的意义以及毕生所全力以赴的目标为什么要这么拼命？因为你必须对得起自己的良知。想要成为一个人际关系高手，第一步就必须先确认你的价值观；若是你连这个都摸不清楚，就很难去看透人生的意义，更不用说什么成就感了。2、忌情绪不佳，牢骚满腹工作时应该保持高昂的情绪状态，即使遇到挫折、饱受委屈、得不到领导的信任，也不要牢骚满腹、怨气冲天。这样做的结果，只会适得其反。要么招人嫌，要么被人瞧不起。3、对上司――先尊重后磨合任何一个上司（包括部门主管、项目经理、管理代表），干到这个职位上，至少有某些过人处。他们丰富的工作经验和待人处世方略，都是值得我们学习借鉴的，我们应该尊重他们精彩的过去和骄人的业绩。但每一个上司都不是完美的。所以在工作中，唯上司命是听并无必要，但也应记住，给上司提意见只是本职工作中的一小部分，尽力完善、改进、迈向新的台阶才是最终目的。4、善于倾听如今的职场风气大体上来说都是开放的，基本上人人都有自己的思想与个性。大家都喜欢表达自己的想法、坚持自己的主张。然而正是这一点，导致了职场当中的许多人际关系矛盾。人们往往只关注自己的想法、自己的感受，而很少去倾听他人的想法与情感。所以，只要你学会了倾听他人，那么你则会获得更多人的认同及好感，进而获得更多的友谊与机会。5、保持友好的灵活性当你与人们发生冲突，更多的是自我主义，而不是问题本身。要学会在生活中的大多数方面保持灵活边通，而不是争斗，这时极为关键的。实现目标的方法有很多，一条路不同，那就走另一条路。要把目标建立在混凝土上，而把计划建立在沙子上，这会帮助你更好的与他人相处。6、找到靠岸点人们像岛屿，你则是绕着岛屿行驶，想找到一个港口，一个要停靠的小船。要想找到停靠的“港口”，就要找到人们的某个优点，把他作为切入点。这样你就与他产生了共鸣。7、培养幽默感幽默使人放松，幽默会让人们解除戒心。当事情进展不顺利时，幽默感会降低打击的强度，过了某个阶段，你也可以大笑，这样做，会比为一些你不能控制的事情生气或担心好的多。

　　华顿的小说，译林出版社出过。　　The Age of Innocence (1920) is a novel by Edith Wharton, which won the 1921 Pulitzer Prize. The story occurs among New York City"s upper class in the 1870s, before electricity, telephone, and automobiles; when there was a small cluster of old, "aristocratic" Revolutionary War-stock families who ruled New York"s social life; when being was better than doing; when occupation and abilities were secondary to blood connections (heredity and family); when reputation and appearances excluded everything and everyone not of one"s caste; and when Fifth Avenue was so deserted by nightfall that it was possible to follow Society"s comings and goings, by spying who went to what house.　　In 1920, The Age of Innocence was published twice; first in four parts, July–October, in the Pictorial Review magazine, and then by D. Appleton and Company as a book in New York and in London.　　Plot introduction　　The Age of Innocence centers on one society couple"s impending marriage and the introduction of a scandalized woman whose presence threatens their happiness. Though the novel questions the assumptions and mores of turn of the century New York society, it never devolves into an outright condemnation of the institution. In fact, Wharton considered this novel an "apology" for the earlier, more brutal and critical, "The House of Mirth". Not to be overlooked is the author"s attention to detailing the charms and customs of this caste. The novel is lauded for its accurate portrayal of how the nineteenth-century East Coast American upper class lived and this combined with the social tragedy earned Wharton a Pulitzer - the first Pulitzer awarded to a woman. Edith Wharton was fifty-eight years-old at publication; she lived in that world, and saw it change dramatically by the end of World War I. The title is an ironic comment on the polished outward manners of New York society, when compared to its inward machinations.　　Plot summary　　Newland Archer, gentleman lawyer and heir to one of New York City"s best families, is happily anticipating a highly-desirable marriage to the sheltered and beautiful May Welland. Yet, he soon finds reason to doubt his choice of bride after the appearance of Countess Ellen Olenska, May"s exotic, beautiful thirty-year-old cousin, who had been living in Europe. Ellen has returned to her New York family after scandalously separating herself (per rumour) from a bad marriage to a Polish Count. At first, Ellen"s arrival, and its potential taint to his bride"s family, disturbs him, yet he becomes intrigued by the worldly Ellen who flouts New York Society"s fastidious rules. As Newland"s admiration for the countess grows, so does his doubt about the prospect of marrying May, a perfect product of Old New York Society; his match with May no longer seems the ideal fate he had imagined.　　Ellen"s decision to divorce Count Olensky is a social crisis for Ellen"s New York family, who are terrified of scandal and disgrace; divorce is unacceptable, living apart is. To save the Welland family"s reputation, a law partner of Newland asks him to dissuade Countess Olenska from divorcing the Count. He succeeds, but in the process comes to care for her; afraid of falling in love with Ellen, Newland begs May to accelerate their wedding date; May refuses.　　Newland tells Ellen he loves her; Ellen corresponds, but is horrified of their love"s aggrieving May. She agrees to remain in America, separated, but undivorced, yet only if they do not sexually consummate their love; Newland receives May"s telegram agreeing to wed sooner.　　Newland and May marry; he tries forgetting Ellen, but fails. His society marriage is loveless, and the social life he once found absorbing has become empty and joyless. Though Ellen lives in Washington, D.C., and has remained distant, he is unable to cease loving her. Their paths cross while he and May are in Newport, Rhode Island. Newland discovers that Count Olensky wishes Ellen"s return to him, and that she has refused, despite her family"s pushing her to reconcile with her husband and return to Europe; frustrated by her independence, the family cut off her money, as the Count had already done.　　Newland desperately seeks a way to leave May and be with Ellen, obsessed with how to finally possess her. Despairing of ever making Ellen his wife, he attempts to have her agree to be his mistress. Then, Ellen is recalled to New York City to care for her sick grandmother, who accepts her decision to remain separated and agrees to reinstate her allowance.　　Back in New York, and under renewed pressure from Newland, Ellen relents and agrees to consummate their relationship. However, Newland then discovers that Ellen has suddenly decided to return to Europe. Newland makes up his mind to abandon May and follow Ellen to Europe, when May announces that she and Newland are throwing a farewell party for Ellen. That night, after the party, Newland resolves to tell May he is leaving her for Ellen. She interrupts him to tell of her pregnancy, and that Ellen was told of it a few days before; Newland grasps Ellen"s reason for a European return. Hopelessly trapped, Newland surrenders his love, Ellen, for the sake of his children, and remains in loveless marriage to May; he does not follow Ellen.　　Twenty-five years later, after May"s death, Newland and his son are in Paris. The son, learning that his mother"s cousin lives there, has arranged to visit and meet Ellen in her Paris apartment. Newland is stunned at the prospect of again seeing Ellen. On arriving outside the apartment building, Newland, still reeling emotionally, sends up his son alone to meet Ellen, while he waits outside, watching her apartment"s balcony. Newland considers going up, but decides that his dream and memory of Ellen are more real than anything else in his life has been; he walks back to his hotel without meeting her.　　Characters in The Age of Innocence　　Major Characters　　* Newland Archer: The story"s protagonist is a young, popular, successful lawyer living with his mother and sister in an elegant New York City house. Since childhood, his life has been shaped by the customs and expectations of upper class New York City society. His engagement to May Welland is one in a string of accomplishments. At story"s start, he is proud and content to dream about a traditional marriage in which he will be the husband-teacher and she the wife-student. His life changes when he meets Countess Ellen Olenska. Through his relationship with her — first friendship, then love — he begins questioning the values on which he was raised. He sees the sexual inequality of New York society and the shallowness of its customs, and struggles to balance social commitment to May with love for Ellen. He cannot find a place for their love in the intricate, judgemental web of New York society. Throughout the story"s progress, he transgresses the boundaries of acceptable behavior for love of Ellen: first following her to Skuytercliff, then to Boston, and finally willing to follow her to Europe. In the end, though, Newland Archer finds that the only place for their love is in his memories.　　* Mrs. Manson Mingott: The fat, feisty matriarch of the powerful Mingott family, and grandmother to Ellen and May. She controls her family: at Newland"s request, she has May and Mrs. Welland agree to an earlier wedding date; she controls the money — withholding Ellen"s living allowance (when the family is angry with Ellen), and having niece Regina Beaufort ask for money when in financial trouble. Mrs. Mingott is a maverick in the polite world of New York society, at times pushing the boundaries of acceptable behavior; receiving guests in her house"s ground floor, though society associates that practice with prostitutes. Her welcoming Ellen is viewed skeptically, and insists the rest of the family support Ellen.　　* Mrs. Welland: May"s mother, has raised her daughter to be a proper society lady. May"s dullness, lack of imagination, and rigid views of appropriate and inappropriate behavior are consequence of her influence. Mrs. Welland is the driving force behind May"s commitment to a long engagement. Without her mother"s influence, May might have agreed earlier to Newland"s request for an earlier wedding date. After few years of marriage, Newland Archer perceives in his mother-in-law what May will become — stolid, unimaginative, and dull.　　* May Welland: Newland Archer"s fiancée, then wife. Raised to be a perfect wife and mother, she follows and obeys all of society"s customs, perfectly. Mostly, she is the shallow, uninterested and uninteresting young woman that New York society requires. When they are in St. Augustine, though, May gives Newland a rare glimpse of the maturity and compassion he had previously ignored. She offers him release from their engagement so he can marry the woman he truly loves, thinking he wants to be with Mrs. Rushworth, a married woman with whom he had recently ended a love affair. When he assures May of his loving only her, May appears to trust him, at least at first. Yet after marriage, she suspects Newland is Ellen"s lover. Nonetheless, May pretends happiness before society, maintaining the illusion that she and he have the perfect marriage expected of them. Her unhappiness activates her manipulative nature, and Newland does not see it until too late. To drive Ellen away from him, May tells Ellen of her pregnancy before she is certain of it. Yet, there still is compassion in May, even in their loveless marriage"s long years after Ellen"s leaving. After May"s death, Newland Archer learns she had always known of his continued love for Ellen; as May lay dying, she told their son Dallas that the children could always trust their father Newland, because he surrendered the thing most meaningful to him out of loyalty to their marriage.　　* Ellen Olenska: She is May"s cousin and Mrs. Manson Mingott"s granddaughter. She became a Countess by marrying Polish Count Olenski, a European nobleman who never appears in the story. When the story begins, Ellen has fled her unhappy marriage, lived in Venice with her husband"s secretary, and has returned to her family in New York City, in America. She is a free spirit who helps Newland Archer see beyond narrow New York society. She treats her maid, Nastasia, as an equal; offering the servant her own cape before sending her out on an errand. She attends parties with disreputable people such as Julius Beaufort and Mrs. Lemuel Struthers, and she invites Newland, the fiancé of her cousin May to visit her. Ellen suffers as much as Newland from their impossible love, but she is willing to live in emotional limbo so long as they can love each other at a distance. Ellen"s love for Newland drives her important decisions: dropping divorce from Count Olenski, remaining in America, and offering Newland choice of sexual consummation only once, and then disappearing from his life. Her conscience and responsibility to family complicate her love for Newland. When she learns of May"s pregnancy, Ellen immediately decides to leave America, refusing Newland"s attempt to follow her to Europe, and so allow cousin May to start her family with her husband Newland.　　* New York City Society: Composed of powerful, wealthy families. These people follow and impose a strict, rigid code of social custom and behavior, and judge as unacceptable and disposable the people who do not follow their rules. Ellen has difficulty adapting to the behavior that such a society thinks appropriate for a woman separated from her husband. New York society"s judgement is clear; almost everyone refuses to attend the dinner party honoring Ellen"s return.　　Minor Characters　　* Christine Nilsson: A famous singer who performs in an opera on the night of Archer and May"s engagement. She sings in the same opera two years later.　　* Mrs. Lovell Mingott: May and Ellen"s aunt, and the daughter-in-law of Mrs. Manson Mingott.　　* Lawrence Lefferts: A wealthy young man and a member of Archer"s social circle. He is considered the expert on manners. Archer believes that Lefferts is behind New York society"s rude refusal to attend the welcome dinner for Ellen. According to Archer, Lefferts makes a big show of his morality every time that his wife, Mrs. Lefferts, suspects that he is having an affair.　　* Sillerton Jackson: The expert on the families that make up New York society. He knows who is related to whom, and the history of every important family. Mrs. Archer and Janey invite him over for dinner when they want to catch up on gossip.　　* Julius Beaufort: An arrogant banker who tries to have an affair with Ellen. He even follows her to Skuytercliff during the weekend that Archer goes to visit Ellen. His banking business eventually fails, and he leaves New York society in disgrace.　　* Regina Beaufort: Julius Beaufort"s wife and Mrs. Manson Mingott"s niece. She comes to Mrs. Mingott when her husband"s bank fails to ask for a loan. Her visit causes Mrs. Mingott to have a stroke.　　* Janey Archer: Archer"s dowdy, unmarried sister who never goes out and relies on Archer. She and her mother invite guests to dinner so they can gossip about New York society. Janey disapproves of Ellen, because she"s unconventional and independent, and doesn"t simply tolerate her husband"s abuse.　　* Mrs. Archer: Archer"s widowed mother. She doesn"t get out to events often, but loves to hear about society. She and Janey strongly believe in the values of New York society. Like Janey, she views Ellen with suspicion.　　* Mrs. Lemuel Struthers: A woman on the fringes of New York society. She is treated with mistrust and scorn

文化人类学家是跨文化传播学的开拓者。从20世纪初期开始，以英国和美国的文化人类学家为先导，对人类不同文化的差异及跨文化传播活动的学术努力日益深入。在“二战”进入后期阶段之后，美国面临着一个现实的问题：如何确保美军能在新近占领的岛屿上与土著居民沟通与合作？由于美军对这些土著居民的语言和文化一无所知，美国政府就邀请了一些优秀的文化人类学家，专门研究这些地区的文化。在这一时期，研究者对跨文化传播研究的重要性产生了全新的理解，同时也积累了这样的认识：作为一门学科的跨文化传播学，应致力于考察那些对不同文化成员之间的人际传播最有影响力的文化因素。文化人类学家鲁思·本尼迪克特（Ruth Benedict）的《菊与刀》（Chrysanthemum and the Sword）一书，就是美国政府在1944年委托研究的成果之一。当时，美国政府需要两个问题的答案：第一，日本政府会不会投降？盟军是否要进攻日本本土而采用对付德国的办法？第二，如果日本投降，美国是否应当利用日本政府机构以至保存天皇？正如本尼迪克特在《菊与刀》中所说：严重的事态接二连三地出现在我们面前。日本人下一步将采取什么行动？能否不进攻日本本土而获致投降？我们是否应该直接轰炸皇宫？从日本俘虏身上，我们可以期望得到什么？在对日本军队及日本本土进行宣传时，我们将宣传些什么才能拯救美国人的生命，并削弱日本人那种抵抗到最后一个人的意志？这些问题在日本通中也引起了相当大的对立。如果和平降临，为了维持秩序，日本人需要永远进行军事管制吗？我军是否要准备在日本深山老林的要塞中与那些疯狂的抵抗到底分子进行战斗？在世界和平有可能到来之前，日本会不会发生一次法国或俄国式的革命？谁将领导这次革命？或者，日本民族只有灭亡？本尼迪克特的研究报告推断：日本政府会投降；美国不能直接统治日本；要保存并利用日本的原有行政机构——因为日本与德国的诸多不同，不能用对付德国的办法对付日本。随后的发展确如本尼迪克特所料，美国政府的一系列决策也与她的意见大抵一致。“二战”之后，美国在世界许多地区建立了海外基地，与此同时，联合国、世界银行、世界卫生组织、联合国粮农组织等国际性机构也在纷纷建立。美国政府急需了解各个国家的政治、经济和文化情况。1946年，美国国会通过了《外交法令》（Foreign Service Act），决定在美国国务院下设驻外事务处（Foreign Service Institute），为美国援外技术人员和外交官提供语言和人类学意义的文化培训。一些学者认为，此举意味着跨文化传播研究的正式开始。 1958 年，美国南亚问题专家伯迪克（Eugene Burdick）等出版了《丑陋的美国人》（The Ugly American），直指50 年代美国驻东南亚的外交官和经援人员漠视当地文化的令人反感的形象。美国国务院向驻外人员明确提出，应以该书为镜子来对照各自的行为。文化人类学家爱德华·霍尔（Edward Hall）是美国驻外事务处任职的专家之一，他的主要工作是选拔和训练到国外工作的美国人。霍尔发现，美国人与他国人民相处时的许多困难是由于美国人“以我们自己的标准与他人交往”引起的，美国形象的不堪也与培训不足以及缺乏对其他文化了解的外交人员和出国人员有关。在发表一系列有关跨文化训练的论文后，霍尔在1959年出版的《无声的语言》（The Silent Language）具体勾勒了跨文化传播研究范式的若干原则：跨文化传播训练的参与和体验；从单一文化社会层面的研究转向跨文化人际交往的研究；重视非语言传播；强调文化无意识（unconsciousness）；坚持非评判性的族群相对主义（non-judgemental ethnorelativism）；关注传播与文化的关系，兼之《无声的语言》首次使用了“intercultural communication”一词，许多研究认为，此书的出版标志着跨文化传播学的诞生。20世纪60年代，美国总统肯尼迪发起创立的“和平队”（Peace Corps） ，让美国各个学术领域对不同文化之间的有效传播产生了更多的兴趣。在这一时期，美国国内少数族群争取民权的斗争和不断深入的文化多样性争论，更使美国政府认识到不同族群、不同文化群体之间传播的重要性。以1964年美国国会通过的《民权法案》为标志，美国政府开始正视少数族群文化的合法权利，同时，以文化人类学家和语言学家为主力，社会科学不同领域都加强了文化与传播的综合性研究。在这一时期，跨文化传播研究逐步从人类学中分离出来，开始成为传播学研究的一个重要组成部分，主旨是对造成文化差异的文化、语言、非语言要素进行探讨，尤其是聚焦于理解人际层面的跨文化传播，以及增进有效传播的相关技巧。自1961年到1969年，霍尔的《无声的语言》一书的发行量高达50多万册，并被译为6 种语言畅销海外。霍尔还出版了他的另一力作《隐蔽的空间》（The Hidden Dimension），分析了分属于不同文化的人们的行为类型、学习特点、接受和反应方式，得到了世界各地学界乃至普通读者的广泛关注。1966年，史密斯（Alfred Smith）主编了论文集《传播与文化》（Communication and Culture），反映了知识界将文化研究与传播学结合起来研究跨文化传播现象的集体努力。20世纪70年代，交通和通信技术迅速发展，世界各国之间的往来日渐密切，进一步促进了文化人类学、社会心理学、语言学、传播学等学科对跨文化传播现象的关注和理论汇聚，跨文化传播学逐渐发展成为传播研究领域的一门独立学科。这一时期，全美传播协会（National Communication Association）与国际传播协会均成立了跨文化传播分会。1972年，第一届跨文化传播国际会议在日本东京举行。1974年，《国际与跨文化传播年刊》（The International and Intercultural Communication Annual）创刊；1977年，《跨文化关系国际杂志》（The International Journal of Intercultural Relations）创刊。跨文化传播专业出版社在这一时期开始出现，其中包括影响至今不衰的Intercultural Press、Sage Publications等。大批跨文化传播的研究和教学著作陆续问世，最有影响的是拉里·萨默瓦等主编的《跨文化传播》（Intercultural Communication），1972 年首版后每隔3 年就重新修订，成为长期通行的专业教材。也是从这一时期开始，美国高等院校广泛设立跨文化传播相关课程，1977 年，全美有450 所教育机构开设了这门课，部分院校开始授予跨文化传播专业的硕士和博士学位。20世纪80年代，跨文化传播学迎来了快速发展的时期，这一学科在学术研究和应用领域的重要性得到了西方学界的普遍认可。1989年，阿森特（Molefi Asante）与古迪孔斯特主编的《国际与跨文化传播手册》（Handbook of International and Intercultural Communication）就集中了这一时期的研究成果。鉴于跨文化传播学无可辩驳的实用性，其研究成果进一步被应用到外交、国际贸易和经济管理等机构，特别是美国和欧洲一些国家纷纷成立进行跨文化传播训练的专门机构。此外，由于跨文化传播学自身的发展，跨文化话语分析学、跨文化语用学、跨文化心理学等分支科学也应运而生，研究领域日益宽广，服务领域也在不断拓展。进入20世纪90年代以来，人类各个文化之间的交融和冲突日益频繁，呈现着不同层次的摩擦、矛盾和冲突，跨文化传播愈加成为社会科学研究特别关注的对象。正像萨默瓦指明的，“生产的流动性、不断增多的文化交流、全球化市场以及具有多元文化的组织和劳动力的出现——这些都要求我们掌握适应多元文化社会和全球村生活的技能”。 学界更为深刻地认识到，跨文化传播能力的掌握可以帮助人们与不同文化进行比较，改善人们的自我认识，促使人们重新审度自己的文化。跨文化传播学的研究议题也变得更为多样，全球化趋势与本土化的矛盾分析、文化多元与文化霸权已成为探讨的焦点之一，现代性、反思性和文化认同危机等问题正在被广泛关注。一些学者还借助后殖民主义、文化帝国主义、女性主义、知识话语权力理论等，对跨文化矛盾和冲突的根源进行更为深入的探讨。

joyful judgemental

Treat people with Kindness If you treat people with kindness and respect, they"ll be more flexible and responsive. We all want love and respect but sometimes we don"t want to give love and respect, especially when we are at odds with someone and we"re feeling hurt and angry. If you want a better relationship with anyone "Stroking" is mandatory. If you look down on people and treat them badly, they"ll retaliate and appear just as annoying and hostile as you expected. If, in contrast, you treat people with kindness and respect in spite of your anger, they"ll nearly always be far more flexible and responsive to your feelings and point of view.Some people are resistant to this technique. "I shouldn"t have to be nice to him. He doesn"t deserve it." is a common opinon. Others are "I"m just too angry to be nice to her", "I can"t think of anything positive to say about him", and " Why should I be nice to her when she"s treated me like this". But if you decide to convey genuine respect in the heat of battle, your efforts will be far more effective.How to use "Stroking"* Give the other person a genuine compliment. Comment on some positive quality or trait they have.* Let the other person know that you like, respect, or admire them, and value their friendship even though you"re both feeling angry or disagreeing with each other right now.* Convey warmth and caring through your body language, showing that you"re interested, open and receptive, as opposed to frowning, crossing your arms across your chest, and shaking your head in a judgemental way.But do you have to stroke people who really are jerks? Isn"t it better to be honest and let people know what idiots they are? The answer is that you don"t have to treat anyone with respect. You can respond to people any way you want to. It just depends on the kinds of relationships you want.The Power of AdmirationSometimes we all have to express negative feelings and tell people something that may upset them. Stroking is invaluable in this situation as well. We all have a deep need to feel admired and respected. If you treat people with kindness and make sure that your comments will never hurt or humiliate them, you can get away with saying just about anything. If you have to criticise someone, but you convey liking or respect at the same time, that person won"t be so tempted to get defensive and dismiss your comments.Here"s a useful exercise that will help you develop greater skill in this technique:Over the next week, make it a point to give out at least twenty-five compliments. Make sure that you include friends, family, shop assistants, and even strangers. I do this all the time. You will be amazed at how people, even strangers will light up when you say something next to them. Life is about Choices Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I"d be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don" t get it. You can" t be positive all the time. How do you do it?"Michael replied, each morning I wake up and say to myself "Mike, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood." I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.""Yeah, right. It isn"t that easy." I protested."Yes it is, " Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line is: It"s your choice how you live life. " I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the big enterprise that I had worked in for years to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often though about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling off 60 feet from a communications tower. After l8 hours of surgery, and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I"d be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place."The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my soon-to-born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, remembered I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren"t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Michael continued, "... the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the operation room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, l read "He"s a dead man." I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me" said Michael. "She asked me if I was allergic to anything. "Yes," I said. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled", "Gravity"" Over their laughter, I told them, "I"m choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead"."Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.I learned from him that every day we have a choice to live fully. Attitude is everythingBeautiful Smile and Love The poor are very wonderful people. One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street. And one of them was in a most terrible condition，and I told the sisters: You take care of the other three. I take care of this one who looked worse. So I did for her all that my love can do. I put her in bed, and there was such a beautiful smile on her face. She took hold of my hand as she said just the words “thank you” and she died. I could not help but examine my conscience before her and I asked what would I say if I was in her place. And my answer was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to myself. I would have said I am hungry, that I am dying, I am cold, I am in pain, or something, but she gave me much more-she gave me her grateful love. And she died with a smile on her face. As did that man whom we picked up from the drain, half eaten with worms, and we brought him to the home. “I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for.” And it was so wonderful to see the greatness of that man who could speak like that, who could die like that without blaming anybody, without cursing anybody, without comparing anything. Like an angel-this is the greatness of our people. And that is why we believe what Jesus had said: I was hungry, I was naked, I was homeless, I was unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and you did it to me. I believe that we are not real social workers. We may be doing social work in the eyes of the people, but we are really contemplatives in the heart of the world. For we are touching the body of Christ twenty-four hours…And I think that in our family we don"t need bombs and guns, to destroy, to bring peace, just get together, love one another, bring that peace, that joy, that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be able to overcome all the evil that is in the world.And with this prize that I have received as a Prize of Peace, I am going to try to make the home for many people who have no home. Because I believe that love begins at home, and if we can create a home for the poor I think that more and more love will spread. And we will be able through this understanding love to bring peace be the good news to the poor. The poor in our own family first, in our country and in the world. To be able to do this, our Sisters, our lives have to be wove with prayer. They have to be woven with Christ to be able to understand, to be able to share. Because to be woven with Christ is to be able to understand, to be able to share. Because today there is so much suffering…When I pick up a person from the street, hungry, I give him a plate of rice, a piece of bread, I have satisfied. I have removed that hunger. But a person who is shut out, who feels unwanted, unloved, terrified, the person who has been thrown out from society-that poverty is so full of hurt and so unbearable…And so let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love, and once we begin to love each other naturally we want to do something.

Treat people with Kindness If you treat people with kindness and respect, they"ll be more flexible and responsive. We all want love and respect but sometimes we don"t want to give love and respect, especially when we are at odds with someone and we"re feeling hurt and angry. If you want a better relationship with anyone "Stroking" is mandatory. If you look down on people and treat them badly, they"ll retaliate and appear just as annoying and hostile as you expected. If, in contrast, you treat people with kindness and respect in spite of your anger, they"ll nearly always be far more flexible and responsive to your feelings and point of view.Some people are resistant to this technique. "I shouldn"t have to be nice to him. He doesn"t deserve it." is a common opinon. Others are "I"m just too angry to be nice to her", "I can"t think of anything positive to say about him", and " Why should I be nice to her when she"s treated me like this". But if you decide to convey genuine respect in the heat of battle, your efforts will be far more effective.How to use "Stroking"* Give the other person a genuine compliment. Comment on some positive quality or trait they have.* Let the other person know that you like, respect, or admire them, and value their friendship even though you"re both feeling angry or disagreeing with each other right now.* Convey warmth and caring through your body language, showing that you"re interested, open and receptive, as opposed to frowning, crossing your arms across your chest, and shaking your head in a judgemental way.But do you have to stroke people who really are jerks? Isn"t it better to be honest and let people know what idiots they are? The answer is that you don"t have to treat anyone with respect. You can respond to people any way you want to. It just depends on the kinds of relationships you want.The Power of AdmirationSometimes we all have to express negative feelings and tell people something that may upset them. Stroking is invaluable in this situation as well. We all have a deep need to feel admired and respected. If you treat people with kindness and make sure that your comments will never hurt or humiliate them, you can get away with saying just about anything. If you have to criticise someone, but you convey liking or respect at the same time, that person won"t be so tempted to get defensive and dismiss your comments.Here"s a useful exercise that will help you develop greater skill in this technique:Over the next week, make it a point to give out at least twenty-five compliments. Make sure that you include friends, family, shop assistants, and even strangers. I do this all the time. You will be amazed at how people, even strangers will light up when you say something next to them. Life is about Choices Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I"d be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don" t get it. You can" t be positive all the time. How do you do it?"Michael replied, each morning I wake up and say to myself "Mike, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood." I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.""Yeah, right. It isn"t that easy." I protested."Yes it is, " Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line is: It"s your choice how you live life. " I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the big enterprise that I had worked in for years to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often though about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling off 60 feet from a communications tower. After l8 hours of surgery, and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I"d be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place."The first thing that went through my mind was the well being of my soon-to-born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, remembered I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren"t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Michael continued, "... the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the operation room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, l read "He"s a dead man." I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me" said Michael. "She asked me if I was allergic to anything. "Yes," I said. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled", "Gravity"" Over their laughter, I told them, "I"m choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead"."Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.I learned from him that every day we have a choice to live fully. Attitude is everythingBeautiful Smile and Love The poor are very wonderful people. One evening we went out and we picked up four people from the street. And one of them was in a most terrible condition，and I told the sisters: You take care of the other three. I take care of this one who looked worse. So I did for her all that my love can do. I put her in bed, and there was such a beautiful smile on her face. She took hold of my hand as she said just the words “thank you” and she died. I could not help but examine my conscience before her and I asked what would I say if I was in her place. And my answer was very simple. I would have tried to draw a little attention to myself. I would have said I am hungry, that I am dying, I am cold, I am in pain, or something, but she gave me much more-she gave me her grateful love. And she died with a smile on her face. As did that man whom we picked up from the drain, half eaten with worms, and we brought him to the home. “I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for.” And it was so wonderful to see the greatness of that man who could speak like that, who could die like that without blaming anybody, without cursing anybody, without comparing anything. Like an angel-this is the greatness of our people. And that is why we believe what Jesus had said: I was hungry, I was naked, I was homeless, I was unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and you did it to me. I believe that we are not real social workers. We may be doing social work in the eyes of the people, but we are really contemplatives in the heart of the world. For we are touching the body of Christ twenty-four hours…And I think that in our family we don"t need bombs and guns, to destroy, to bring peace, just get together, love one another, bring that peace, that joy, that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be able to overcome all the evil that is in the world.And with this prize that I have received as a Prize of Peace, I am going to try to make the home for many people who have no home. Because I believe that love begins at home, and if we can create a home for the poor I think that more and more love will spread. And we will be able through this understanding love to bring peace be the good news to the poor. The poor in our own family first, in our country and in the world. To be able to do this, our Sisters, our lives have to be wove with prayer. They have to be woven with Christ to be able to understand, to be able to share. Because to be woven with Christ is to be able to understand, to be able to share. Because today there is so much suffering…When I pick up a person from the street, hungry, I give him a plate of rice, a piece of bread, I have satisfied. I have removed that hunger. But a person who is shut out, who feels unwanted, unloved, terrified, the person who has been thrown out from society-that poverty is so full of hurt and so unbearable…And so let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love, and once we begin to love each other naturally we want to do something.

歌曲名:Any Means Necessary歌手:Mutabaruka专辑:OutcryI won"t pull the triggerJust to see you dieNo remedy to make me come aliveI"m ticking like a timebomb,(Need) no fuse, just guts and gore(To) initiate the burning of the coreI count down to zero, pull the trigger, no paroleNo mercy, have mercy, no mercy on your soulKill by any means necessaryWin by any means necessaryLive by any means necessaryDie by any means necessaryI am not judgementalA sinner nor a saintCause either you"re my best friend or you ain"tCome gather here around mefeel my breath under your skinI"m deadly, only when I"m getting caughtCounting down to zero, I"m a soldier without soulNo mercy, have mercy, no mercy on your soulKill by any means necessaryWin by any means necessaryLive by any means necessaryDie by any means necessaryI am born to kill - Judge and condemnI am born to win - Slay and maim "emI am born to live - Fight for gloryI am born to dieKill - Win - Live - DieKill by any means necessaryWin by any means necessaryLive by any means necessaryDie by any means necessaryI am born to kill - Judge and condemnI am born to win - Slay and maim "emI am born to live - Fight for gloryI am born to die - Memento moriI am born to kill - Judge and condemnI am born to win - Slay and maim "emI am born to live - Fight for gloryI am born to die - Memento mori...http://music.baidu.com/song/15221409

歌曲名:On The Other Side歌手:The Strokes专辑:First Impressions Of EarthI"m tired of everyone I knowOf everyone I seeOn the streetAnd on TV, yeahOn the other sideOn the other sideNobody"s waiting for meOn the other sideI hate them all, I hate them allI hate myselfFor hating themSo drink some moreI"ll love them allI"ll drink even moreI"ll hate them even more than I did beforeOn the other sideOn the other sideNobody"s waiting for meOn the other sideHere we goI remember when you cameYou taught me how to singNow, it seems so far awayYou taught me how to singI"m tired of being so judgementalOf everyoneI will not go to sleepI will train my eyes to seeThat my mind is this blood as a birch on a treeOn the other sideOn the other sideI know what"s waiting for meOn the other sideOn the other sideOn the other sideI know you"re waiting for meOn the other sidehttp://music.baidu.com/song/1380293

歌曲名:Any Means Necessary歌手:Hammerfall专辑:Gates Of DalhallaI won"t pull the triggerJust to see you dieNo remedy to make me come aliveI"m ticking like a timebomb,(Need) no fuse, just guts and gore(To) initiate the burning of the coreI count down to zero, pull the trigger, no paroleNo mercy, have mercy, no mercy on your soulKill by any means necessaryWin by any means necessaryLive by any means necessaryDie by any means necessaryI am not judgementalA sinner nor a saintCause either you"re my best friend or you ain"tCome gather here around mefeel my breath under your skinI"m deadly, only when I"m getting caughtCounting down to zero, I"m a soldier without soulNo mercy, have mercy, no mercy on your soulKill by any means necessaryWin by any means necessaryLive by any means necessaryDie by any means necessaryI am born to kill - Judge and condemnI am born to win - Slay and maim "emI am born to live - Fight for gloryI am born to dieKill - Win - Live - DieKill by any means necessaryWin by any means necessaryLive by any means necessaryDie by any means necessaryI am born to kill - Judge and condemnI am born to win - Slay and maim "emI am born to live - Fight for gloryI am born to die - Memento moriI am born to kill - Judge and condemnI am born to win - Slay and maim "emI am born to live - Fight for gloryI am born to die - Memento mori...http://music.baidu.com/song/52758752

this is an old topic and very difficult question. check out the links and see what all other poeple"s views are hope it helps http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1622658.aspx http://www.maplesky.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=14274Could a man and a woman be “just friends”!? Can it be so, or is it mission impossible?Nowadays men and women are interacting very actively at work. They have common hobbies. So naturally, the question arises: “Is it possible for a man and a woman socialize without sexual attraction, tension, passion and stay in platonic relationship?In this question, we won"t find the only “true” answer. All of us have experience and individual opinion. Part of us would believe that “he” and “she” can be just friend, and other would claim that it is nonsense – if two opposite sex people are friends, one of them most probably will be interested in more than just a platonic relationship.You can be friends just untill one or both of you will cross “no sex line”. Many people think, that opposite sex friendship is hiding sexual intentions, or at least one of the friends (mostly men) is dreaming about it. In platonic love, there"s no sexual activity, but very often there is sexual attraction. I believe that sexual tension is unavoidable between heterosexual opposite sex friends.One woman is interpreting: “how can a man and a woman be just friends? There can only be one relationship – and it‘s bed. It‘s funny when he‘s telling - we are just friends. A man and a woman can only be lovers or something like that, but not friends.”Other woman is joking: “I think that a man and a woman can‘t be friends, unless he‘s gay or she‘s lesbian.”But there are people who are claiming that people of opposite sexes can be just friends and nothing more. The basic point is that both male and female would have the same views on platonic relationship. If there‘s going to be a friendship between a man and a woman or not, depends only on them. The basics of friendship are interests and confidence, not gender. Mankind is thinking, that friendship with women is of a higher quality, they can express their own feelings not like with a man. Women like to have „pretended“ brothers, because with a male friend she can feel safe.One woman suggests how can a man and a woman be just friends: “you should go sleep in one bed (only sleep, no sex). If you will sleep soundly, without any distractions – yes, you can be friends, but if not... I think that the question about a man"s and a woman"s friendship is still open. What‘s your opinion?Nice article. I really used to think about this aspoect as i have some good female friends. But many times my feeling about them is sexually mixed. It"s tru that mere friendship is not possible with opposite sex. At some point of time the relationship turns into sexual. That can be in verbal, in thoughts or in dreams. If somebody overcomes this well and good. But i really doubt the possibility of keeping a pure veg friendhsip with my female friends.I do believe in it. But I also think it"s extremely psychological.Most of the guy friends I have, I have known for years, so I see them in the same light as my brothers....you know..someone you could never be intimate with. I know their wives and girlfriends and everyone is ok with things.On the other hand, when you first meet someone of the opposite sex (and they aren"t necessariy living the homosexual lifestyle) it"s where the line becomes very thin. Most people within a few month of meeting probably start having fantasies or becoming attracted to one another. And that"s why I think people get confused and say that men and women can"t be friends. Problem is that at a certain stage in your life there is so much sexual tension hanging out that hormones and emotions can become overwhelming. We are naturally prone to be "eyeing" up mates to reproduce the planet and that"s where the line is usually crossed.So, I guess after that mouthfull, I guess it really depends on the kind of person and where they are at in their lives.I don"t think there is real friendship between man and woman. If you make friends with someone, that means that you like him/her in some respects. Nobody can promise this kind of "like" won"t become "love". Because there is much "chemical" around men and women, and with proper conditions, this chemical thing will work. So I cannot believe a man and a woman can become friends. What do you think?Two years bac my views were very different as i didnt met many people on net . But now as i have seen things widely realised threre are so many things beyond our own Thinking. After going thru all come to the conclusion one cant say tht man and woman cant be just frnds. They can be. After marriage we should realise d sentiments of partners and thr is no need to hurt any one intentionally or unintentionally. On this long road of life we meet so many people and all are not same, so we should choose thm according to our own opinions. Why we cross those boundaries which are divine for husband/wife only. Maintain frndship upto sm extent. Friendship is just sharing our own thoughts joys and sorrows. I m not agree at any cost tht man and woman frndship goes beyond .Not all men are the same about ANYTHING, just like not all women are the same about anything.In my experience, friendship between man and women can exist as long as there are established bounderies... Men or women who tell everything to their opposite sex friend are bound to be attracted to one another... I personnally slept with all of my so called "female friend" or "female best friend", at some point in my life I had friendship with women which lasted a long time and then something eventually happened (it can take years but trust me something will definitely happen if there are no bounderies!!!). I slept with most of my female entourage ,at some point it just happens!!I learnt that: if you"re going to be the best friend of a woman, she will tell you everything, then because you"re not personnaly involved in her stories she will find in you a good listener, non-judgemental, a non-jealous, caring and trusting person!! If at that moment in time she is in no relationship, she might consider you as a potential partner.. or if she is in a bad relationship, she will undoubtedly start to compare her partner with you! She may start thinking: "well, if my bestfriend is so perfect why am I not with him?".....women gets attached emotionally to people and situation, this is why without bounderies friendship with men can be tricky!!Men however can definitely be attracted to someone and be friend at the same time because men don"t get emotionally involved in the same way as women do.....they can stay friends without acting on their fantasies!! Also, men don"t always do it consciously, but they sometimes wait days, month or even years for the right time to come and make their move, it is much easier to get to know a woman when she is your best friend first. Especially when she has a boyfriend and tells you all about it...My question is: Does Not acting on you fantasy makes you a real friend? Do you fancy your sister/brother or same sex friend? I don"t think so.....What I call bounderies is, one should not tell a friend of the opposite sex what he/she can"t tell to his/her own partner...tell someone else (same sex friend or familly member)!!! In order to keep a friend of the opposite sex a " friend", the friend need to feel like a friend, not like a boyfriend or girlfriend, therefore there are certain things you cannot do or tell!!! Now, what I would like you to do is, be honest with yourself and ask yourself this question.... Do you have 1 reason other than "he/she is my friend" not to date your best friend? After all, he/she understands you, knows your little secrets and yet doesnt judge you, listens, cares for you, trust you and has your trust, is there for you through good and bad time.....and so on and so on!!!My verdict is, TRUE friendship between men and women doesnt exist!!!!Well I in my opinion, a man and a woman can only be "just friends" before or after a relationship. If they have dated, had sex, and broke up, then and only then can it be possible for them to remain "just friends." If they have not dated at all and are "just friends," they will share stories of heartbreak, family life, stress stories and build trust. They will soon figure out how much they understand and appreciate each other and will most likely end up dating.

i won"t pull the triggerjust to see you dieno remedy to make me come alivei"m ticking like a timebomb,(need) no fuse, just guts and gore(to) initiate the burning of the corei count down to zero, pull the trigger, no paroleno mercy, have mercy, no mercy on your soulkill by any means necessarywin by any means necessarylive by any means necessarydie by any means necessaryi am not judgementala sinner nor a saintcause either you"re my best friend or you ain"tcome gather here around mefeel my breath under your skini"m deadly, only when i"m getting caughtcounting down to zero, i"m a soldier without soulno mercy, have mercy, no mercy on your soulkill by any means necessarywin by any means necessarylive by any means necessarydie by any means necessaryi am born to kill - judge and condemni am born to win - slay and maim "emi am born to live - fight for gloryi am born to diekill - win - live - diekill by any means necessarywin by any means necessarylive by any means necessarydie by any means necessaryi am born to kill - judge and condemni am born to win - slay and maim "emi am born to live - fight for gloryi am born to die - memento morii am born to kill - judge and condemni am born to win - slay and maim "emi am born to live - fight for gloryi am born to die - memento mori

I am talking about a pop star who takes time off to work with World Vision to raise awareness about the world"s underprivileged children. I am talking about a recording artiste who has won so many local music awards, she has announced she no longer wants to squirrel away any more. According to Sun, she made the decision to give younger singers a chance and not occupy a slot that they would otherwise have. Now, if anybody else had said that, they might have come across as arrogant. Not Sun. In fact, talking to her is like talking to some long lost friend — you want to call her "Stef" even though you"ve never met. And even when Sun is involved in a "big thing", the truth is you don"t want to associate anything remotely negative with her. You know what else bugs her? "I think the hardest part is that people tend to be judgemental and magnify the things you do," she said sighing. "For example, I like to eat bak chor mee, but when I go to hawker centres to buy it, people go like, "Eh, I thought she earn a lot of money, still want to come here?" What kind of logic is that? They probably think I can get it delivered to my house or whatever, but I like going to the hawker centre!" She doesn"t flash her wealth. In fact, she dismisses talk that she"s one of the richest young Singaporeans.

If We Are The Body - The Faith CrewIt"s crowded in worship todayAs she slips in trying to fade into the facesThe girl"s teasing laughter is carrying farther than they knowFarther than they knowBut if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?There is a wayA traveler is far away from homeHe sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back rowThe weight of their judgemental glancesTells him that his chances are better out on the roadBut if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?Jesus payed much too high a priceFor us to pick and choose who should comeAnd we are the body of ChristBut if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?But if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?There is a way

欢爱小屋全集高清完整版视频免费在线观看：链接: https://pan.baidu.com/s/1t47FbmFxSirRAV7GJJC_6Q?pwd=papc 提取码: papc简介:After getting unexpectedly dumped by her boyfriend, Chelsea (Emily Osment) a high-brow, Harvard-educated intellectual and aspiring novelist is forced to move in with her bubbly, carefree, not-so-intellectual West Coast sister, Claire (Olivia Macklin), and her three lovably eccentric, not-so-intellectual roommates: Grant (Gregg Sulkin), a distractingly handsome personal trainer,... (展开全部) 　　After getting unexpectedly dumped by her boyfriend, Chelsea (Emily Osment) a high-brow, Harvard-educated intellectual and aspiring novelist is forced to move in with her bubbly, carefree, not-so-intellectual West Coast sister, Claire (Olivia Macklin), and her three lovably eccentric, not-so-intellectual roommates: Grant (Gregg Sulkin), a distractingly handsome personal trainer, Solana (Cinthya Carmon), a former lawyer turned healer, and Jayden (Michael Hsu Rosen), a social media influencer. But Chelsea"s tough, sometimes judgemental exterior starts to soften as she gets to know her new friends, and they begin to form an unlikely found family.

歌曲名:Ready For Whatever歌手:T.I.专辑:Paper TrailT.I. - Ready For Whateverhey, the price of fame cost to muchlike these niggas talk to muchim ready for whatever somebody better tell em"said im ready for whateverhey, hey, hey,even tho my head in the clouds im planted on the pavementhow i walk around people starring in amazmenti play alotta game a well-being i aint playing wit itthey so judgemental man but they dont understandif ya life was in jeperady erryday is you tellin meyou wouldnt need weaponry jus because of ya felony"sconsider this at least i got errybody sweating meon the streets theres people who wont rest unless i rest in peacekilled my folk a year ago still in my sleep they threatin meperanoid ya stressin me aint nobody protecting meim dealing wit the pressure from my partner dieing next to meniggas know i was arrested they coming for me eventuallythis was all the things that i was goin thru mentallythis could be the reason i ignore the penitionarynot mentioning new orlean niggas comin in the citykillin all summer long aint nobody pay attentionnow is it that hard to understand if you listeneither die or go to jail thats a hell of decisionbut im wrong and i know it my excuses unimportantim just tryna let you know that i aint think i had a choice, fereali had straps in my ride gotta go to prisonyou waitin on me to die you gone be waiting for a minuteboy im ready for whateva somebody betta tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settle (fereal)cant afford the price of fame cause it cost too muchman these sucka niggas lame and they talk to muchdat why im ready for whateva somebody tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settleforeal, foreal, ey foreal, i said when errything settleforeal,ey foreal, ey foreal, ey foreal i said when errything settle forealima man i aint perfect i admit it im guiltybut understand feel me i was riding filthycuz niggas out there plottin to rob me and kill me500,000 erry year spent on securitymy future was bright but now its gettin blurycuz niggas in a hurry to find me and bury mebut surely God"ll deliver me up out itima fighter till the heart i"ll foreva be about itima father to my sons as it to my communitylook all that i done my good out weigh the negativityey mentally i was focused on that littin history reapet itselfthats why he was kept in a vicinityyes offically i broke the law but not maliciouslythrough all the publicity was anyone consideratemy position and the logic hidden my decisionbut they caught me wit em now im off to prison, PERIODbut is it that hard to understand if you listeneither die or go to jail thats a hell of decisionbut im wrong and i know it my excuses unimportantim just tryna let you know that i aint think i had a choice, fereali had straps in my ride gotta go to prisonyou waitin on me to die you gone be waiting for a minuteboy im ready for whateva somebody betta tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settle (fereal)cant afford the price of fame cause it cost too muchman these sucka niggas lame and they talk to muchdat why im ready for whateva somebody betta tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settleEy i said listen homeboyyou can talk all you want mayne you know what im sayinerrybody talking to the king you know what im sayinthey like escalades errybody got onebut the fact of the matter remainif yeaint walk a mile in my shoes and yeaint live a day in my lifeyeaint survive the shit i done survivedyeaint had to deal wit the shit i had to deal wit homeboyi mean look at folk like sean tayloryou know what they said they said had he had a straphe woulda lived todayyou know what im sayinnow true enough i did wrong i broke the lawi deserve to be punished i understand that ight coolbut listen man i gotta house full of kidsa mama and an old lady who life in myresponsibility you dig that!?now for all of yall who think i was jus ridin around on some dumb shityou know im smarter than you manyou know im smarter than you dawgey if you think i was just being stupidif you beleive that i gotta bridge in brooklyn i wanna sell you partnahey man real talk in order to understand my train of thoughtsyou"ll have to put yo self in my positionyou cant expect me to think like you cuz my life aint like yoursyou know what im sayin? if you dont understand that you dontunderstand english im done talking!http://music.baidu.com/song/1198654

歌曲名:Ready For Whatever (Amended Album Version)歌手:T.I.专辑:Paper TrailT.I. - Ready For Whateverhey, the price of fame cost to muchlike these niggas talk to muchim ready for whatever somebody better tell em"said im ready for whateverhey, hey, hey,even tho my head in the clouds im planted on the pavementhow i walk around people starring in amazmenti play alotta game a well-being i aint playing wit itthey so judgemental man but they dont understandif ya life was in jeperady erryday is you tellin meyou wouldnt need weaponry jus because of ya felony"sconsider this at least i got errybody sweating meon the streets theres people who wont rest unless i rest in peacekilled my folk a year ago still in my sleep they threatin meperanoid ya stressin me aint nobody protecting meim dealing wit the pressure from my partner dieing next to meniggas know i was arrested they coming for me eventuallythis was all the things that i was goin thru mentallythis could be the reason i ignore the penitionarynot mentioning new orlean niggas comin in the citykillin all summer long aint nobody pay attentionnow is it that hard to understand if you listeneither die or go to jail thats a hell of decisionbut im wrong and i know it my excuses unimportantim just tryna let you know that i aint think i had a choice, fereali had straps in my ride gotta go to prisonyou waitin on me to die you gone be waiting for a minuteboy im ready for whateva somebody betta tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settle (fereal)cant afford the price of fame cause it cost too muchman these sucka niggas lame and they talk to muchdat why im ready for whateva somebody tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settleforeal, foreal, ey foreal, i said when errything settleforeal,ey foreal, ey foreal, ey foreal i said when errything settle forealima man i aint perfect i admit it im guiltybut understand feel me i was riding filthycuz niggas out there plottin to rob me and kill me500,000 erry year spent on securitymy future was bright but now its gettin blurycuz niggas in a hurry to find me and bury mebut surely God"ll deliver me up out itima fighter till the heart i"ll foreva be about itima father to my sons as it to my communitylook all that i done my good out weigh the negativityey mentally i was focused on that littin history reapet itselfthats why he was kept in a vicinityyes offically i broke the law but not maliciouslythrough all the publicity was anyone consideratemy position and the logic hidden my decisionbut they caught me wit em now im off to prison, PERIODbut is it that hard to understand if you listeneither die or go to jail thats a hell of decisionbut im wrong and i know it my excuses unimportantim just tryna let you know that i aint think i had a choice, fereali had straps in my ride gotta go to prisonyou waitin on me to die you gone be waiting for a minuteboy im ready for whateva somebody betta tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settle (fereal)cant afford the price of fame cause it cost too muchman these sucka niggas lame and they talk to muchdat why im ready for whateva somebody betta tell emi"ll be here when the smoke clear and errything settleEy i said listen homeboyyou can talk all you want mayne you know what im sayinerrybody talking to the king you know what im sayinthey like escalades errybody got onebut the fact of the matter remainif yeaint walk a mile in my shoes and yeaint live a day in my lifeyeaint survive the shit i done survivedyeaint had to deal wit the shit i had to deal wit homeboyi mean look at folk like sean tayloryou know what they said they said had he had a straphe woulda lived todayyou know what im sayinnow true enough i did wrong i broke the lawi deserve to be punished i understand that ight coolbut listen man i gotta house full of kidsa mama and an old lady who life in myresponsibility you dig that!?now for all of yall who think i was jus ridin around on some dumb shityou know im smarter than you manyou know im smarter than you dawgey if you think i was just being stupidif you beleive that i gotta bridge in brooklyn i wanna sell you partnahey man real talk in order to understand my train of thoughtsyou"ll have to put yo self in my positionyou cant expect me to think like you cuz my life aint like yoursyou know what im sayin? if you dont understand that you dontunderstand english im done talking!http://music.baidu.com/song/9935904

1. Speak a little less, listen a little moreMost people get tremendous pleasure from speaking about themselves. But, here we have to be careful; if we always speak about our achievements or tribulations, people will get fed up with our egoism.If we are willing and able to listen to others, we will find it much appreciated by our friends. Some people are not aware of how much they dominate the conversation. If you find you are always talking about yourself, consider the advice of the Greek philosopher, Epictectus: “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”2. Which is more important being right or maintaining harmony?A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our personal pride. Don"t insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance anyway.3. Avoid GossipIf we value someone"s friendship we will not take pleasure in commenting on their frequent failings. They will eventually hear about it. But, whether we get found out or not, we weaken our relationships when we dwell on negative qualities. Avoid gossiping about anybody; subconsciously we don"t trust people who have a reputation for gossip. We instinctively trust and value people who don"t feel the need to criticise others.4. ForgivenessForgiveness is not just a cliché, it"s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships. However, real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience. If we forgive one day, but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real forgiveness. When we make mistakes, just consider how much we would appreciate others forgiving and forgetting.5. Know When to Keep SilentIf you think a friend has a bad or unworkable idea, don"t always argue against it; just keep silent and let them work things out for themselves. It"s a mistake to always feel responsible for their actions. You can offer support to friends, but you can"t live their life for them.6. Right MotiveIf you view friendship from the perspective of “what can I get from this?” you are making a big mistake. This kind of relationship proves very tentative. If you make friendships with the hope of some benefit, you will find that people will have a similar attitude to you. This kind of friendship leads to insecurity and jealousy. Furthermore, these fair weather friends will most likely disappear just when you need them most. Don"t look upon friends with the perspective “what can I get out of this?”. True friendship should be based on mutual support and good will, irrespective of any personal gain.7. Oneness.The real secret of healthy relationships is developing a feeling of oneness. This means that you will consider the impact on others of your words and actions. If you have a true feeling of oneness, you will find it difficult to do anything that causes suffering to your friends. When there is a feeling of oneness, your relationships will be free of jealousy and insecurity.For example, it is a feeling of oneness which enables you to share in the success of your friends. This is much better than harbouring feelings of jealousy. To develop oneness we have to let go of feelings of superiority and inferiority; good relationships should not be based on a judgemental approach. In essence, successful friendship depends on the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have done to yourself.” This is the basis of healthy relationships.8. HumourDon"t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, far from it — it just means we let go of our ego. Humour is often the best antidote for relieving tense situations.9. Work at Relationships but don"t over analyzeMaintaining healthy relationships doesn"t mean we have to spend several hours in the psychiatrist"s chair. It means we take a little time to consider others, remembering birthdays and anniversaries etc. But, it is a mistake to spend several hours ruminating and dissecting relationships. This makes the whole thing very mental; it"s better to forget any negative experiences. Good friendships should be built on spontaneity and newness, sharing a moment of humour can often do more benefit than several hours of discussion.10. Concern and DetachmentHealthy relationships should be built on a degree of detachment. Here, people often make a mistake; they think that being detached means, “not caring”. However, this is not the case. Often when we develop a very strong attachment we expect the person to behave in a certain way. When they don"t we feel miserable and try to change them. A good friendship based on detachment means we will always offer good will, but we will not be upset if they wish to go a different way.

Played by: Daniela Sea Occupation: Computer programmer Family: The family, estranged from nearly entirely, resides in Wilmette, Illinoise. Moira"s sister Maggie called to tell her that their mother died and suggests that Moira not attend the services. Other than Maggie, nobody else knows about Moira"s transition until Max comes home for his mother"s funeral, at which point, the entire situation explodes and causes an even bigger rift. Personality Type: Normally quiet, introverted, shy, and a bit socially inept. When Max begins to transition and starts using testosterone, his personality changes drastically and he has very emotional and often violent outbursts, which Jenny gets the brunt of. L Word(s) That Best Describes Moira/Max: lovely, luscious, learned, legitimate, lion-hearted, loving, loyal, lonely, low, liberal, languid, listless Signature look: Very boyish, broad-shouldered. As Moira, considered butch. As Max, manly, but with obvious feminine traits still showing through. Generally dressed in jeans and a tight t-shirt, casual business attire at work. Endearing Trait(s): Absolutely striking eyes, strong, cares for others, hard working. Annoying Trait(s): Can be overly judgemental and aggressive at times. Constantly confused and changing his mind. Strengths: Very hardworking and good at what he does. Pulls through most crises without a hitch. Very insightful about human relationships. Loyal and brave, standing up for what he believes in even at his own personal expense. Hangups: Being perceived as different. Compared to all his friends, strives to "cleave to the heterosexual paradigm" and criticizes others who don"t. Worries about making people uncomfortable.

歌名叫stomp，笑纳

When i was young i"ve always dreamed to be a great teacher. i"ve always wanted to teach because passing on my knowledge to others and allowing the students the access to liberal and free thoughts gives me happiness. so my dream job would be a teacher where i could help children with school work while guiding them to take their gradual steps into the society, and teach and inspire them. i would shield them from the sophisticated and judgemental society and tell them that they are the best, and to let their talent take them somewhere far in their life. this is my dream and i hope it would come true.

歌曲名：If We Are The Body 歌手：The Faith CrewIt"s crowded in worship todayAs she slips in trying to fade into the facesThe girl"s teasing laughter is carrying farther than they knowFarther than they knowBut if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?There is a wayA traveler is far away from homeHe sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back rowThe weight of their judgemental glancesTells him that his chances are better out on the roadBut if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?Jesus payed much too high a priceFor us to pick and choose who should comeAnd we are the body of ChristBut if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?But if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His arms reaching?Why aren"t His hands healing?Why aren"t His words teaching?And if we are the bodyWhy aren"t His feet going?Why is His love not showing them there is a way?There is a way

Gestures An Introduction Do we expect other cultures to adopt our customs or are we willing to adopt theirs? This might translate to how business or even foreign relations are to be conducted. Do we compromise or force others peoples to deal only on our terms? We may not have time to hear a language , but taking time to learn the "signals" is a powerful communicator. As the global village continues to shrink and cultures collide, it is essential for all of us to become more sensitive, more aware, and more observant to the myriad motions, gestures, and body language that surround us each day. And as many of us cross over cultural borders, it would be fitting for us to respect, learn, and understand more about the effective, yet powerful "silent language" of gestures. The world is a giddy montage of vivid gestures- traffic police, street vendors, expressway drivers, teachers, children on playground, athletes with their exuberant hugging, clenched fists and "high fives." People all over the world use their hands, heads, and bodies to communicate expressively. Without gestures, our world would be static and colorless. The social anthropologists Edward T. Hall claims 60 percent of all our communication is nonverbal. In that case, how can we possibly communicate with one another without gestures? Gestures and body language communicate as effectively as words- maybe even more effectively. We use gestures daily, almost instinctively, from beckoning to a waiter, or punctuating a business presentation with visual signals to airport ground attendants guiding an airline pilot into the jetway or a parent using a whole dictionary of gestures to teach (or preach to) a child. Gestures are woven inextricably in to our social lives, but also that the "vocabulary" of gestures, can be at once informative and entertaining... but also dangerous. Gestures can be menacing (two drivers on a freeway), warm (an open-armed welcome). instructive(a police man giving road directions0, or even sensuous (the liquid movement of a Hawaiian hula dancer). Bear in mind that the following gestures are in general use, but there may always be exceptions. In recent years, Western and contemporary values and ideas have become more popular and has either influenced, altered, and even replaced, some of the more traditional gestures, understanding human behavior is tricky stuff. No two people behave in precisely the same way. Nor do people from the same culture all perform exactly the same gestures and body language uniformly. For almost any gestures there will probably be a minority within a given nationality who might say "Well, some might attach that meaning to it, but to me it means..." and then they will provide a different interpretation. In the world of gestures, the best single piece of advice is to remember the two A"s - "Ask" and be "aware." If you see a motion or gesture that is new or confusing , ask a local person what it signifies. Then, be aware of the many body signs and customs around you. Source: Axtell, Roger E. Gestures: The Do"s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World. John Wiley & Sons, 1991. The Ultimate Gesture According to Roger G. Axtell, the "ultimate gesture" carries certain welcome characteristic unlike any other single gestures. First, this "ultimate gestures" is known everywhere- and I stress "everywhere"- in the world. It is absolutely universal. Second, it is rarely, if ever, misunderstood. Primitive tribes and world leaders alike know and use this gestures. The tribesmen - like you, no doubt - recognize it in others and use it themselves. Third, scientists believe this particular gesture actually releases chemicals called endorphins in to the system that create a feeling of mild euphoria. Fourth, as you travel around the world, this gesture may help you slip out of the prickliest of difficult situations. What is this singular signal, this miracle mien, this giant of all gestures? It is quite simply, the smile. Use it freely , use it often. Source: Axtell, Roger E. Gestures: The Do"s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World. John Wiley & Sons, 1991. Managerial skills needed by the year 2000 RESPECT: This mean the capability of demonstrating respect in whichever way a specific culture requires: respect for age, respect in manner of speech, respect with eye contact, respect with hand or body gestures, respect for personal privacy, and so on. TOLERATING AMBIGUITY: This refers to the skill of reacting positively to new, different, and at times, unpredictable situations. RELATING TO PEOPLE: This means placing the management of people on an equal level with "getting the job done." Too often, American managers are totally result-oriented without sensitivity to the " people ingredient." BEING NON JUDGEMENTAL: This is the ability to withhold judgment until all information is accumulated, while also taking into account cultural idiosyncrasies that could color judgment. PERSONALIZING ONE"S OBSERVATION: This is the skill of recognizing that each person sees the world from his or her own platform of observations. EMPATHY: This skill, the ability to place yourself in another person"s shoes, is on of the higher level skills in intercultural relationships. PERSISTENCE: This is the companion word to "patience." Both are firm requirements in dealing with people from other societies around the world. - Brent R. Ruben A global statesman who cares about people encompasses the several skills above plus three more-dignity, professionalism , and propriety. "A statesmen is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip." Source: Hariis, Phillip R. and Robert T. Moran. Managing Cultural Differences. Gulf Publishing Co., Houston. 1977. Elevator Behavior Next time you walk on to a crowded elevator, don"t turn around and face the door. Instead, just stand there facing the others. If you want to create even more tension, grin. Very likely the other passengers will glare back, surprised, grim, and upset. Reason? You have broken the rules. This demonstrates how, even in the most mundane situations, we have a silent set of rules for bodily behavior in public settings. When _____ people enter an elevator, they each... one or two ...lean against the walls of the elevator. four ...occupy a corner. five or six ...all turn to face the door. ...get taller and thinner. ...hands and purses and briefcases hang down in front of the body, or "fig leaf position." ...must not touch each other in any way unless the elevator is crowded, and then only at the shoulder or lightly against the upper arm. ...have a tendency to look upward at the illuminated floor indicator. Source: Axtell, Roger E. Gestures: The Do"s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World. John Wiley & Sons, 1991. Return to the top of this page. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Asian Gestures Asian Pacific Cultural Values Filial piety or respect for one"s parents or elders. Unquestioning respect for authority. One is taught to respect those who lead, to be loyal, trustworthy and to follow through on assignments. Patriarchial authority of the elder. The parents define the law and the children are expected to abide by their requests and demands. The father is generally authoritarian, distant and reserved but his position is respected. Extended family - an extension of filial piety. Asians in the past have valued large families. Extended family included the immediate family and relatives. it is the responsibility of the family members to provide for the elders. in the Asian family, as one approaches old age, it is the beginning of relaxation and respect. Loyalty to family. Independent behavior that may disrupt the harmony of the family is highly discouraged. Concept of shame. One must not bring dishonor or disgrace to one"s self or family.. Also, this concept is used as a controlling factor in the behavior of the family. Vertical authority - Goes from top to bottom in the extended family. One is not encouraged to criticize or confront an individual publicly. Father and son relationship is important because sons are valued to continue on the family name. Control of emotions, self discipline and self control is emphasized. This suppression of emotions gave rise to the stereotypical nation of "the inscrutable Asian." One should only speak when spoken to, speak only if one has something important to say, have inner stamina/strength to tolerate crises. be a solid performer and not show any emotion. Asian women are expected to carry on domestic duties, marry and have children. Education is highly valued. Children learn to obey at home and are expected to do so at school. They are taught to follow all the rules and regulations, respect authority and to spend all of their time studying to obtain high grades. Scholastic achievement is highly prized and co-curricular activities are given low priority, Group consensus is valued in the decision-making process. Collective decision-making, collective responsibility and teamwork are stressed. Rugged individualism is not esteemed. Interdependence not individualism is valued. Put group/family needs before individual needs. Perserverance, conformity, loyalty, hard work and frugality are values sough after. Fatalism. Acceptance of ambiguity and uncertainty. Willingness to be patient accept things are they are. Humbleness. The visibility of the group not the individual is stressed. Power is shared collectively. Not polite to accept public recognition or to call attention to oneself. Hard work will be recognized and rewarded. Success syndrome. Becoming successful is paramount. Find the safest and least visible routes to success. Choose careers that are safe but respectable. Fear of failure and fear of brining shame to the family are dominant forces. Risk taking is not encouraged. Success = Stability/Respectability. Source: Leadership Management Institute(LMI). "Asian Pacific Cultural Values." Leadership Education for Asian Pacifics. (1990). Common Asian Gestures GREETINGS GESTURES Handshaking Bowing Avoid direct eye contact BEKONING GESTURES To beckon someone, the palm faces downward and the fingers are moved in a scratching motion. Avoid using fingers in pointing to an object. TOUCHING GESTURES Not touch oriented societies Avoid public display of affection Pushing (bumping) in crowds OTHER NON VERBAL GESTURES Respect to elderly people Smiling often can cover a gamut of emotions: happiness, anger, confusion, apologies , or sadness. Displaying an open mouth (such as yawning or a wide-open laugh) is considered rude, especially with women who cover their mouths when giggling or laughing. Try to maintain a balanced posture, stand or sit erectly or squarely. Don"t slouch or put on the ground with arms in the lap or on the armrest. Crossing the legs at the knees or ankles is the preferred form rather than with one ankle over the other knee. Silience (listening) is a sign of politeness and of contemplation. During conversations, be especially careful about interrupting. China GREETINGS GESTURES The western custom of shaking hands is the customary form of greeting, but often s nod of the head or slight bow is sufficient. Hugging and kissing when greeting are uncommon. Business cards are often exchanged, and yours should be printed in your own language and in Chinese. Also, it is more respectful to present your card (or a gift or any other article) using both hands. The Chinese are enthusiastic applauders. You may be greeted with group clapping, even by small children. When a person is applauded in this fashion it is the custom for that person to return the applause or a "thank you." When walking in public places, direct eye contact and staring is uncommon in the larger cities, especially in those areas accustomed to foreign visitors. However, in smaller communities, visitors may be the subject of much curiosity and therefore you may notice some stares. TOUCHING GESTURES Genrally speaking, the Chinese are not a touch-oriented society (especially true for visitors). So avoid touching or any prolonged form of body contact. Public displays of affection are very rare. On the other hand, you may note people of the same sex walking hand-in-hand, which is simply a gesture of friendship. Don"t worry about a bit of pushing and shoving in stores or when groups board public buses or trains. Apologies are neither offered or expected. Personal space is much less in China. The Chinese will stand much closer than Westerners. BECKONING GESTURES To beckon someone, the palm faces downward and the fingers are moved in a scratching motion. Avoid use the index finger, palm up and toward you, in a back forth curling motion toward your body. That gesture is used only for animals and can be considered rude. The open hand is used for pointing (not just one or two fingers,) Also, avoid using your feet to gesture or to move or touch other objects because the feet are considered lowly and dirty. OTHER NONVERBAL GESTURES Avoid being physically intimidating (be humble), especially with older or more senior people. Posture is important, so don"t slouch or put your feet on desks or chairs. Silence is perfectly ac

The young psychology professor Dr Richard Alpert was doing well. As 1961 got under way, he held appointments across four departments at Harvard University, and had research contracts at Stanford and Yale. With the status and money that came with these positions, he had little to complain about. Yet he felt that there was something missing in his world, but couldn"t put his finger on it. The theories of achievement, motivation and anxiety that he was teaching students seemed to be just surface scratchings on the mystery of life; he and his contemporaries had studied all there was to know about the human mind, yet had little grasp of the human condition. Their own lives lacked integrity and fulfillment, and Alpert himself had little to show for the five years he had spent in psychoanalysis. His lecture notes, he says, were "the ideas of other men, subtly presented", and his research was not really pushing any new frontiers. Everyone around him was so smart, but there was little wisdom: "I could sit in a doctoral exam, ask very sophisticated questions and look terribly wise. It was a hustle." New worlds The cracks in Alpert"s life began to widen when the legendary Timothy Leary (then a Harvard psychologist who would become a prophet of the 1960s counterculture) became a colleague and drinking buddy. Leary had discovered Tioananctyl, or magic mushrooms, in Mexico, and Alpert was struck by his comment that consuming them had taught him more than all his years as a psychologist. Later, Leary and Aldous Huxley (then a visiting scholar at Massachusetts Institute of Technology) acquired a synthetic form of magic mushroom called Psylocybin, which Alpert was invited to try with them. The drug prompted visions in which Alpert could see his life as the feted professor with some objectivity. He experienced the presence of an "I" behind the facade of his knowledge, the I of wisdom and timeless awareness. This was just what he had been looking for. The group went on researching altered states, testing the drug on other people but also taking it frequently themselves. Alpert writes of the sensation that everything around him was appreciated as an undifferentiated vibrating pattern of energy, essentially light, not the "objects" we normally perceive. In such states Alpert would see his life as a professor as somewhat untruthful and restrictive, and "came down" with regret. The more he took psychedelic drugs, the more annoyed he got that he had to return from these wonderful astral worlds to the mundane reality. Things came to a head when Alpert was sacked from his academic posts, beginning a wilderness period in which he no longer felt connected to the academic establishment, and could not find a way to maintain the states of consciousness he had experienced. No turning back When a wealthy acquaintance invited Alpert to go on a journey to India, he leapt at the opportunity. There is a saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." At his wits end, Alpert was sitting in a hippy cafe in northern India when in walked in a tall westerner with long hair and beads. Alpert instantly felt that this man, called Bhagwan Dass and seen by the locals as a guru, "knew"; he had come thousands of miles only to have a young Californian as his teacher! Following him across the country, learning holy songs and mantras, and neither with any money, Alpert came to understand what it meant to truly live in the present, to get away from the idea that the events of one"s life story are that important. When asked how long he thought they would continue to travel around, Bhagwan Dass replied, "Don"t think about the future. Just be here now." Beyond rationality As Richard Alpert metamorphosed into "Ram Dass", what insights did he gain? Dass learned that one way to be aware of our selves is to adopt the role of unjudgemental witness, watching all the selves in action. This allowed one to carry out roles in life with some detachment. Witnessing your thoughts also allows you to see their impermanence and the fact that there is a part of you that is not your thoughts. The purpose of meditation, he found, is to be free from the thought that we normally take to be ourselves, thought which perpetuates our suffering. In meditation we disconnect from the ego and senses. If you do have thoughts during meditation, ultimately they will come only as intuition or guidance, not sabotaging thoughts. Having lived most of his life in a culture that worshipped the rational mind, Ram Dass was liberated by the idea that we are not simply the sum of our thoughts. With this knowledge, it was no longer possible for him to continue "studying consciousness" as an objective scientific observer; rather, he was now able to look upon science and psychology as constructs within the larger consciousness that he was beginning to experience. Final word Be Here Now is a classic work of "hippie spirituality", but it can take its place as one of the standout works of spiritual transformation from any era. Dass"s journey from Harvard academic to guru is told beautifully, and in his shaking off of an old, somewhat meaningless life, like a dead skin, Alpert reminds us of St Augustine writing in his Confessions. Older copies of the book from the 1970s are a piece of social history. Printed by Dass"s own Hanuman Foundation, there are no page numbers until about two thirds in, and much of the text is in blue or brown ink. While the first section is a relatively straightforward account of Alpert"s life, written from a Western, chronological perspective, the central section is the voice of a neophyte who has discovered the spiritual truths and wants to tell the world. Arranged in a centerfold style with mantras and quotes, and with wild and often beautiful illustrations, it may be too groovy for some readers, but don"t be put off by the frequent use of words such as "love" and "guru" and drawings of Hindu deities; this is actually the core of the book and if you are in the right frame of mind it can take you on a "trip".

有判断力[词典]havegoodjudgment;judgemental;sensible[例句]agoodartistmusthavegoodjudgmentforcolour.一位出色的艺术家必须对颜色有判断力。

1 比较的判断标准 2 商贸公司 3 无票面值股票 4 修订的加速成本回收 5 间接生产成本 6 财务报表分析局限

十全十美 十室九空 十面埋伏 十指连心 十万火急 十恶不赦

aas是jcr的一区一区二区三区四区是sci期刊的分区，sci期刊的分区有两种，一种是jcr的分区，另一个是中科院的分区，这两类分区很类似，都是分为四个区，分区的标准也都是期刊的影响因子。至于不同区的期刊的区别，很显然的区别就是这四个区是按照影响因子由高到低排序的，一区期刊是影响因子最高，学术价值最高，影响力最大的期刊，四区期刊就是四个区中影响因子最低的一类刊物。一区期刊不论是jcr分区的一区，还是中科院的一区，只要是一区期刊，都是国际上知名的学术期刊，这部分期刊发表难度是非常大的，也不是任何人都可以发表的，对于普通作者来说，是非常困难的，且不说文章难写，对作者身份职务可能都会有一定门槛，一区期刊是不适合不同作者发表的，一般能发表一区的都是一些专家学者、知名大学教授、或者一些在本专业内有一定影响力的科研工作者。二区期刊仅次于一区期刊，二区期刊国内作者发表的就相对多一些了，目前国内一些标准中明确要求发表二区及以上期刊，所以二区是很多国内作者的首选，二区期刊发表难度略小，但也要看具体的学科和具体的期刊，一般的规律是二区期刊较一区期刊容易一些。三区四区期刊的发表难度就会更低一些，但三区四区期刊在国内有些许争议，就是因为上述我们提到的硬性要求，有些单位和高校是不认可二区以下的刊物的。因此，很多作者会认为三区四区刊物不值得发表，没有发表价值，其实对于大多数普通作者来说，只要能发表sci论文就已经实属不易了，国内也有很多单位只要是sci论文就认可，对分区，没有过多要求，这种情况下三区四区期刊也是可以发表的。具体选择哪个区的期刊发表要看作者的实际需求了，选择分区适合自己，能帮助自己实现目标即可，没有必要一定发表那些普通作者难以企及的刊物。

1、一五一十。 2、一暴十寒。 3、以一当十。 4、九变十化。 5、十全十美。 6、十室九空。 7、十恶不赦。 8、五光十色。 9、神气十足。 10、十万火急。

tend[tend]vi.趋向, 往往是vt.照管, 护理tendtend 1AHD:[tµnd] D.J.[tend]K.K.[tWnd]v.intr.（不及物动词）tend.ed,tend.ing,tends To have a tendency:倾向：有一种倾向：paint that tends toward bubbling and peeling over time.因年久而开始起泡并脱落的油漆To be disposed or inclined:倾向于：tends toward exaggeration.倾向夸张To move or extend in a certain direction:走向：向一特定方向移动或延伸：Our ship tended northward.我们船驶向北面Middle English tenden 中古英语 tenden from Old French tendre 源自 古法语 tendre from Latin tendere * see ten- 源自 拉丁语 tendere *参见 ten- tendtend 2AHD:[tµnd] D.J.[tend]K.K.[tWnd]v.（动词）tend.ed,tend.ing,tends v.tr.（及物动词）To have the care of; watch over; look after:照料；照管；护理：tend a child.照料一个孩子To manage the activities and transactions of; run:管理：管理…的活动和运转；管理：tend bar; tend a store in the owner"s absence.经营酒吧；当老板不在时照看一个商店v.intr.（不及物动词）To be an attendant or a servant.伺侯，招待：成为随从或仆人To apply one"s attention; attend:注意；关心：no time to tend to my diary.没有时间留心写我的日记Middle English tenden 中古英语 tenden short for attenden [to wait on] * see attend attenden的简写 [等待] *参见 attendtend,attend,mind,minister,watchThe central meaning shared by these verbs is “to have the care or supervision of”: 这些动词共有的中心含义是“照料，监督”： tended her plants;照料她的工厂；attending the sick;照看病人；minded the furnace;照看炉子；ministering to flood victims;照顾洪水灾民；watched the house while the owners were away. 当主人离开时照看房子 tend[tend]vt.照料[看], 看护, 管理【航海】照料(锚键, 缆绳)[古]听, 注意tend a grocery管理一所杂货铺tend shop当伙计, 招待顾客tend[tend]vi.伺候, 招待(on, upon)注意, 留心(to)tend upon a customer招待顾客T-to the master"s whistle.听主人的口哨吧。tendingn.田间管理tendtend 1AHD:[tµnd] D.J.[tend]K.K.[tWnd]v.intr.tend.ed,tend.ing,tends To have a tendency:paint that tends toward bubbling and peeling over time.To be disposed or inclined:tends toward exaggeration.To move or extend in a certain direction:Our ship tended northward.Middle English tenden from Old French tendre from Latin tendere * see ten- tendtend 2AHD:[tµnd] D.J.[tend]K.K.[tWnd]v.tend.ed,tend.ing,tends v.tr.To have the care of; watch over; look after:tend a child.To manage the activities and transactions of; run:tend bar; tend a store in the owner"s absence.v.intr.To be an attendant or a servant.To apply one"s attention; attend:no time to tend to my diary.Middle English tenden short for attenden [to wait on] * see attend tend ,attend ,mind ,minister ,watch The central meaning shared by these verbs is “to have the care or supervision of”: tended her plants;attending the sick;minded the furnace;ministering to flood victims;watched the house while the owners were away. tend来自中古英语tenden,为attenden脱落a而成，照料